Remember Season 3 when it was down to 6 contestants and Ryan divided them into two groups- the top 3 and the bottom 3. Remember how 'shocked' everyone was that the best singers Latoya London, Jennifer Hudson and Fantasia B. ended up being the bottom group... They were TOO good. America likes to root for the underdog and the unexpected.
I fear (judging by the unofficial AI facebook fan page poll) that the same fate is waiting for Mike Lynche.
Blow my Bowersox off...
Big Mike might have some competition. Can't wait to see the real GK in concert this summer!
- I'm out
- I'm out
Dig 'em Good
OK, Got my cereal. I'm back ... and maybe it's the sugary goodness of the Smacks but I'm not hating DiDi's performance of "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted." The judges hated it, but then they didn't have any Honey Smacks.
What becomes of the broken hearted? Apparently, you go on Idol and have Ryan embarrass you in front of a couple million people.
OK, as someone who was fortunate enough to see Anita Baker perform that song live, I am insulted (on behalf of Anita) by Tim Urban's half-assed and half-hearted, would-make-Barry-Manilow-mad-attempt to sing "Sweet Love." Shame on him. Shame.
Didn't I say no songs by people involved in domestic abuse scandals. Andrew makes Chris Brown's "Forever" sound like a Doublemint gum commercial. Actually there are far better Doublemint gum commercials....
Oh lord, this little girl is gonna try to sing Aretha. I gotta go.
Peace Out Idol watchers!
What becomes of the broken hearted? Apparently, you go on Idol and have Ryan embarrass you in front of a couple million people.
OK, as someone who was fortunate enough to see Anita Baker perform that song live, I am insulted (on behalf of Anita) by Tim Urban's half-assed and half-hearted, would-make-Barry-Manilow-mad-attempt to sing "Sweet Love." Shame on him. Shame.
Didn't I say no songs by people involved in domestic abuse scandals. Andrew makes Chris Brown's "Forever" sound like a Doublemint gum commercial. Actually there are far better Doublemint gum commercials....
Oh lord, this little girl is gonna try to sing Aretha. I gotta go.
Peace Out Idol watchers!
These are my confessions ....
I am soooo sorry y'all! I forgot to include in my list of "don't" -- anyone who has ever worked with Prince, Jimmy Jam or Terry Lewis, LaFace or R. Kelly. That would've taken care of that Chaka Khan debacle.
If you're interested in hearing how that song SHOULD sound (brings back fond memories of middle school), take a listen ...
... maybe she should have done Kanye's "Through the Wire".
I HEART Big Mike's take on India Arie's "Ready for Love"
I think I'm ready for love my darn self ....
The show can basically end now. Mike is the only one of those kids with any talent at all. I've had my Usher fix. I can eat my Honey Smacks and go to bed ...
If you're interested in hearing how that song SHOULD sound (brings back fond memories of middle school), take a listen ...
... maybe she should have done Kanye's "Through the Wire".
I HEART Big Mike's take on India Arie's "Ready for Love"
I think I'm ready for love my darn self ....
The show can basically end now. Mike is the only one of those kids with any talent at all. I've had my Usher fix. I can eat my Honey Smacks and go to bed ...
Daddy's Home
Some advice -- no songs from anyone who goes by first name only. No Whitney. No Mariah. No Luther (aka Lootha). No Babyface. No Brandy. No Monica. And sadly -- no Usher.
And then again, they probably shouldn't tackle any groups or duets, so there goes Boyz II Men and any song from the 60s.
And no songs by anyone blind or otherwise disabled, so lets delete Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder and Teddy Pendergrass.
No songs by anyone ever involved in a domestic abuse scandal. Say goodbye to songs by Tina Turner, Chris Brown, Bobby Brown, Rihanna, Al Green and TLC (You don't remember Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes literally burning down her boyfriend Andre Risen's house?)
That leaves about 8 songs .... Surely they can get at least ONE of them right.
Paige Gets an Earful from Randy
True ... Paige sounded like two cats fighting in a paper bag, but Randy calling her out for being the worst was just cold blooded, dog. Cold. Blooded.
Wake Me Up When They Go-Go
These kids have obviously never danced around their bedrooms with Wham! blasting from the tape deck of their ghettoblaster (aka boombox for the politically correct). This song is synonymous with dance and they took all the jitter out of that jitterbug.
Have they not watched the video??? Did they not see George Michael dancing around the stage in multicolored booty shorts??? This is a song that calls you to channel your inner goofball. Instead, they did a 187 on our joy.
Maybe this can revive the joy a little ...
Have they not watched the video??? Did they not see George Michael dancing around the stage in multicolored booty shorts??? This is a song that calls you to channel your inner goofball. Instead, they did a 187 on our joy.
Maybe this can revive the joy a little ...
It's Miley Night! (Be afraid. Very afraid.)
Tonight, Disney ATM and Ryan Seacrest bestie Miley Cyrus mentored the group of Disney ATM and Ryan BFF wannabes. I'm suppressing a giggle. Here's how it went down...
Hey Lee -- Fonzie called. He wants his hair back.
Dude, just cuz you chose a song from the 60s doesn't mean your hair and wardrobe must follow ... (sidenote: uh, what's up with Simon calling Kara "missy"???)
Paige needs a Tyra makeover BADLY! That weave is wickety wickety wack!
"Against All Odds" is such a prophetic choice for Miss Thang. Cuz if she survives tonight it really will be against all odds.
Randy: That was honestly terrible. Honestly. Terrible.
Ellen: I'll start with a positive. You didn't fall down. [wow!]
Kara: whah whah waaah whah waaa whah wah
Miley to Tim: Let me give you a hug. I don't think you're boring at all.
What's worse than a 17-year-old giving you a back-handed compliment -- taking it as a REAL compliment!
Hey Tim -- Zac Efron wants his hair ... and clothes ... and smirk ... hey, wait a minute....
Aerosmith -- finally something from the last decade -- oh wait. That was (counting fingers). I'm old. And this kid Aaron is a baby. Was he even born when this song topped the charts? He's what -- 12?
Liner note: "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" was originally written for Celine Dion -- MY American Idol.
I love that Cristal Bowersox had Miley sign her guitar, noting it "was one more notch." (shifting uncomfortably as I type this) I guess we know who'll be front row center at Lilith Fair ...
Ellen to Cristal: I was driving down the road the other day and that song came on the radio and I thought of you... (Was it really the "song" Ellen?)
Ok -- someone is going to ask. Might as well be me. Is there any symbolism's to homegirl's "magic carpet?"
TOP: Mike Lynche when he talks ...
BOTTOM: Big Mike when he sings ...
Andrew's rendition of MG's "Heard It Through the Great Vine" was sour grapes.
As Simon so aptly put it: He sucked the soul out of that song.
I've got to give Katie props just for singing something current --something the audience can sing along to. Say what you want to Fergie and how she held the "For Sale" sign that made the Black Eyed Peas sell out ... but "Big Girls Don't Cry" has a helluva hook.
However, I'm a big girl ... and Katie's singing made me cry...
Y'all think I could pass for 24 ... with this year's crop of talent. I could soooo audition for Idol ...
I don't trust a man whose hair looks better than mine. But I REALLY don't trust a Billy Ray Cyrus fan. But I have to say Casey took me waaaaay back to the future with his "Power of Love." It really was a relief because for a minute I was afraid he was going to sing Celine Dion's "Power of Love."
Gotta root for Hometeam ... DiDi is from Knoxville (home of the 1982 World's Fair)
Miley was throwing a little hate her way when DiDi said she didn't get nervous. The 17-year-old was like "everybody gets nervous" (insert rolled eyes here)
Apparently (insert rolling eyes here), the judges have never been to Knoxvegas cuz they gave my girl no love.
Simon: There is some irony to you shouting out "you're no good. You're no good. You're no good. You're no good." Ouch!
Sidenote: This is just WRONG
Last but not least ... Siobhan channels Stevie ... and a little Sanjaya. Good thing she's not "superstitious"
My prediction: bottom three will be Andrew, Paige and Tim (although Tim's got that teenthrob thing going on) But Paige is definitely going home. She's sick anyway ... and she needs to her get wig shook. It's time....
Dude, just cuz you chose a song from the 60s doesn't mean your hair and wardrobe must follow ... (sidenote: uh, what's up with Simon calling Kara "missy"???)
"Against All Odds" is such a prophetic choice for Miss Thang. Cuz if she survives tonight it really will be against all odds.
Randy: That was honestly terrible. Honestly. Terrible.
Ellen: I'll start with a positive. You didn't fall down. [wow!]
Kara: whah whah waaah whah waaa whah wah
What's worse than a 17-year-old giving you a back-handed compliment -- taking it as a REAL compliment!
Hey Tim -- Zac Efron wants his hair ... and clothes ... and smirk ... hey, wait a minute....
Liner note: "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" was originally written for Celine Dion -- MY American Idol.
Ellen to Cristal: I was driving down the road the other day and that song came on the radio and I thought of you... (Was it really the "song" Ellen?)
Ok -- someone is going to ask. Might as well be me. Is there any symbolism's to homegirl's "magic carpet?"
TOP: Mike Lynche when he talks ...
BOTTOM: Big Mike when he sings ...
As Simon so aptly put it: He sucked the soul out of that song.
However, I'm a big girl ... and Katie's singing made me cry...
Y'all think I could pass for 24 ... with this year's crop of talent. I could soooo audition for Idol ...
I don't trust a man whose hair looks better than mine. But I REALLY don't trust a Billy Ray Cyrus fan. But I have to say Casey took me waaaaay back to the future with his "Power of Love." It really was a relief because for a minute I was afraid he was going to sing Celine Dion's "Power of Love."
Miley was throwing a little hate her way when DiDi said she didn't get nervous. The 17-year-old was like "everybody gets nervous" (insert rolled eyes here)
Apparently (insert rolling eyes here), the judges have never been to Knoxvegas cuz they gave my girl no love.
Simon: There is some irony to you shouting out "you're no good. You're no good. You're no good. You're no good." Ouch!
My prediction: bottom three will be Andrew, Paige and Tim (although Tim's got that teenthrob thing going on) But Paige is definitely going home. She's sick anyway ... and she needs to her get wig shook. It's time....
And the winner is ....
We'll look back and say "THIS" was the song that put Michael Lynche in the winner's circle.
Thank God Glee is back this week
The problem is these kids are just really young. Katie Stevens sang Kelly Clarkson but she was only 8 when Kelly won 'the Idol.'
I think Kara just prophesied the show's downfall and ultimate demise when she called contestant Siobhan a 'character.' I guess they're not even pretending that the show is about discovering hidden talent anymore.
Is it a compliment when Randy says 'it was a boring song but your best performance to date' and this is like week a trillion...
And why are all these young girls trying to be Indigo Girls... This is the most boring Idol season ever!
- I'm out
I think Kara just prophesied the show's downfall and ultimate demise when she called contestant Siobhan a 'character.' I guess they're not even pretending that the show is about discovering hidden talent anymore.
Is it a compliment when Randy says 'it was a boring song but your best performance to date' and this is like week a trillion...
And why are all these young girls trying to be Indigo Girls... This is the most boring Idol season ever!
- I'm out
Idol Recycled
Talent pool is so shallow, Idol has taken to recycling contestants ...
Bucky Covington
Casey James
Jordin Sparks
Michelle Delamor
What did Sam Cooke ever do to this girl?
And why is she murdering his song. This song has meaning this little girl couldn't begin to understand and she's singing it like it's some Radio Disney tune.
And Randy's Black card is officially revoked for saying this was his favorite performance. Somewhere Sam is rolling over in his grave ... this is not the integration they marched for.
Randy compared her to Bjork and that's exactly right -- but I doubt Bjork would have had the cajones to sing THAT song THAT way. These people are killing me!
Egads!
And Randy's Black card is officially revoked for saying this was his favorite performance. Somewhere Sam is rolling over in his grave ... this is not the integration they marched for.
Randy compared her to Bjork and that's exactly right -- but I doubt Bjork would have had the cajones to sing THAT song THAT way. These people are killing me!
Egads!
No one to blame but themselves
This season's disappointing run has only four people to blame -- Randy, Ellen, Kara and Simon. WHO were THEY listening to three weeks ago? For the first time, I can't pick a top 10 because I don't think there are 10 contestants worthy of going further in the competition. I know this is the most painful part of the process because they're still getting their bearings, but this time it seems different. Maybe because you have one judge whose sole job is to flirt and be cute. Another judge on his way out so he could care less. And a third judge who is there purely for comic relief. (not to make light of this -- Ellen is the only reason I'm watching this season) So that leaves Randy to hold it down.
Hold it down, dog. Hold it down.
Seriously, every two seasons or so, we have a dud. Taylor what's his name and then last year's Kris Allen. So we're due for another Kelly Fantasia Jordan Archuletta.
Unfortunately, these kids don't even come close -- as I listen to DiDi sing a version of Lean On Me that literally has Maimee leaning on me. That performance put us to sleep! Geez!
By the way, this is how you switchup this song.
Hold it down, dog. Hold it down.
Seriously, every two seasons or so, we have a dud. Taylor what's his name and then last year's Kris Allen. So we're due for another Kelly Fantasia Jordan Archuletta.
Unfortunately, these kids don't even come close -- as I listen to DiDi sing a version of Lean On Me that literally has Maimee leaning on me. That performance put us to sleep! Geez!
By the way, this is how you switchup this song.
Say what now??!!
iPhone blogger app not cool: answered the phone and lost my draft! Egads! Will try to re-create it now...
Two words. Idol-ized. Keepin eyes. On prize.
Show starts. Ball curves. Boys ready? Swallow nerves.
Ellen rambles. Ryan scrambles. Producers gamble.
Big Mike. Sounds tight. James Brown. Shut down.
John Mayer? Oh no. Vote tonight? Going home.
Bucky hair. Bucky clothes. Bucky talent? Hell nah!
Ellen talks. Nothing said. Kara flirts. Simon's red.
Alex Lambert. Channels soul. Legend dying. Verdict... Whoa! Judges crazy. Outlook hazy. Season's best? Hot mess.
Ego trippin. Hard-headed. Bags packed? Get'em ready.
Jermaine Jermaine. Listen up! FINAL ten. Switchit up. Right now. Shut up!
Bye Jermaine. Seeya later. Try being. More gracious.
B-boy. Pseudo soul. Indie rock. Makeit stop! Andy G. Killing me.
Two hours. Dragging on. Three days. Too long.
Opie Taylor. Looks hot. David Archuletta. He's not.
Simon leaving. Understand why. Weakass singers. Wanna cry.
Two words. Idol-ized. Keepin eyes. On prize.
Show starts. Ball curves. Boys ready? Swallow nerves.
Ellen rambles. Ryan scrambles. Producers gamble.
Big Mike. Sounds tight. James Brown. Shut down.
John Mayer? Oh no. Vote tonight? Going home.
Bucky hair. Bucky clothes. Bucky talent? Hell nah!
Ellen talks. Nothing said. Kara flirts. Simon's red.
Alex Lambert. Channels soul. Legend dying. Verdict... Whoa! Judges crazy. Outlook hazy. Season's best? Hot mess.
Ego trippin. Hard-headed. Bags packed? Get'em ready.
Jermaine Jermaine. Listen up! FINAL ten. Switchit up. Right now. Shut up!
Bye Jermaine. Seeya later. Try being. More gracious.
B-boy. Pseudo soul. Indie rock. Makeit stop! Andy G. Killing me.
Two hours. Dragging on. Three days. Too long.
Opie Taylor. Looks hot. David Archuletta. He's not.
Simon leaving. Understand why. Weakass singers. Wanna cry.
Two Words
Kanye West has a song with Mos Def and Freeway called Two Words... During the song, they only use two words at a time to complete each verse. Example: South side. World wide. We try. Still die.
Now I'm no lyrical genius like Ye and Mos Def but in an effort to get through what will undoubtedly be a painful second round of bad Alanis impressions, I'm going to give this two-word thingy a try. Here goes...
Now I'm no lyrical genius like Ye and Mos Def but in an effort to get through what will undoubtedly be a painful second round of bad Alanis impressions, I'm going to give this two-word thingy a try. Here goes...
There's an App for that
So excited. Downloaded an app that let's this lazy blogger post from her phone. If this can't keep me on track, I don't know what will. Looking forward to ditching more dead weight on Tuesday's show....
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