It's Miley Night! (Be afraid. Very afraid.)

Tonight, Disney ATM and Ryan Seacrest bestie Miley Cyrus mentored the group of Disney ATM and Ryan BFF wannabes. I'm suppressing a giggle. Here's how it went down...

Hey Lee -- Fonzie called. He wants his hair back.

Dude, just cuz you chose a song from the 60s doesn't mean your hair and wardrobe must follow ... (sidenote: uh, what's up with Simon calling Kara "missy"???)

Paige needs a Tyra makeover BADLY! That weave is wickety wickety wack!
"Against All Odds" is such a prophetic choice for Miss Thang. Cuz if she survives tonight it really will be against all odds.
Randy: That was honestly terrible. Honestly. Terrible.
Ellen: I'll start with a positive. You didn't fall down. [wow!]
Kara: whah whah waaah whah waaa whah wah

Miley to Tim: Let me give you a hug. I don't think you're boring at all.
What's worse than a 17-year-old giving you a back-handed compliment -- taking it as a REAL compliment!
Hey Tim -- Zac Efron wants his hair ... and clothes ... and smirk ... hey, wait a minute....

Aerosmith -- finally something from the last decade -- oh wait. That was (counting fingers). I'm old. And this kid Aaron is a baby. Was he even born when this song topped the charts? He's what -- 12?
Liner note: "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" was originally written for Celine Dion -- MY American Idol.

I love that Cristal Bowersox had Miley sign her guitar, noting it "was one more notch." (shifting uncomfortably as I type this) I guess we know who'll be front row center at Lilith Fair ...
Ellen to Cristal: I was driving down the road the other day and that song came on the radio and I thought of you... (Was it really the "song" Ellen?)
Ok -- someone is going to ask. Might as well be me. Is there any symbolism's to homegirl's "magic carpet?"




TOP: Mike Lynche when he talks ...
BOTTOM: Big Mike when he sings ...

                                                          

Andrew's rendition of MG's "Heard It Through the Great Vine" was sour grapes.


As Simon so aptly put it: He sucked the soul out of that song.

I've got to give Katie props just for singing something current --something the audience can sing along to. Say what you want to Fergie and how she held the "For Sale" sign that made the Black Eyed Peas sell out ... but "Big Girls Don't Cry" has a helluva hook.

However, I'm a big girl ... and Katie's singing made me cry...



Y'all think I could pass for 24 ... with this year's crop of talent. I could soooo audition for Idol ...

I don't trust a man whose hair looks better than mine. But I REALLY don't trust a Billy Ray Cyrus fan. But I have to say Casey took me waaaaay back to the future with his "Power of Love." It really was a relief because for a minute I was afraid he was going to sing Celine Dion's "Power of Love."

Gotta root for Hometeam ... DiDi is from Knoxville (home of the 1982 World's Fair)
Miley was throwing a little hate her way when DiDi said she didn't get nervous. The 17-year-old was like "everybody gets nervous" (insert rolled eyes here)

Apparently (insert rolling eyes here), the judges have never been to Knoxvegas cuz they gave my girl no love.

Simon: There is some irony to you shouting out "you're no good. You're no good. You're no good. You're no good." Ouch!

Sidenote: This is just WRONG

Last but not least ... Siobhan channels Stevie ... and a little Sanjaya. Good thing she's not "superstitious"














My prediction: bottom three will be Andrew, Paige and Tim (although Tim's got that teenthrob thing going on) But Paige is definitely going home. She's sick anyway ... and she needs to her get wig shook. It's time....