Alleged 'American Idol' semifinalist Michael Lynch disqualified

Michael Lynch may be paying a hefty price for his proud papa confirming he's an American Idol Top 24 ninth-season semifinalist.



The St. Petersburg native -- who went by the moniker "Big Mike" during the American Idol audition process -- appears to have been disqualified from Idol's ninth season, the anonymous online spoiler known as Joesplace reported Friday.

Read the rest of the story here

I'm Baaaaaack!

First, I must apologize for my absence. I was on a self-imposed hiatus in protest of that stupid new girl judge Kara-whats-her-name. My allegiance lies completely with Paula. Drinking problem and all.



While I'm sad Paula's gone, I couldn't be happier to have Ellen join Randy, Simon and that stupid new girl judge behind the table this season. Tonight is Final 24 night -- when the real competition begins -- and so far, I am psyched about this year's talent pool.
The song of choice seems to be Jason Mraz' "I'm Yours"



This is the toughest part of the whole contest -- as Ryan says, "with lives hanging in the balance" Take poor Big Mike Lynch with the newborn baby. UnrealityTV had him cut from the final 24 weeks before the first casting episodes aired.

And the poor girl who sung that Taylor Swift song -- WORSE than Taylor Swift.

So which will it be...


They're Baaaaaaack ...

And our trio is now a quartet. This season Paula, Randy and Simon will be joined by Kara DioGuardi – acclaimed songwriter whose smart sassiness will "bring a new level of energy and excitement to the show," according to executive producer Simon Fuller. That's the official company line, but this Idol-watcher's guess is the new chick was brought in to put Paula in her place. I'm sure there will be plenty of catty bickering and new-girl flirting by Simon and Randy. (Yea us!) But what will having a fourth judge really do to the dynamics of the show?
  • Lack of a tie breaker. During the pre-Hollywood auditions, how will they reconcile a 2-2 split on whether a contestant continues in the competition?
  • Sister to Sister? Will Kara come to Paula's aid when Simon starts making fun of her?
  • Will producers extend each episode to allow each of the judges to shower us with their wisdom?
  • With whom will male contestants flirt?

That's all folks...

Wow. That ensemble song was … wow. There are no words. So, why was Syesha the only female contestant wearing go-go shorts? That whole thing was just weird.

But the David duet – that was hot. They were standing in their truth. Seriously, they sound really good together….too bad they can’t both win. Or cannnn they? Boy, wouldn’t that be a surprise ending. Fox doesn’t have the balls, though. The CW would do it.

What about Paramount’s shameless plug of The Love Guru? I think it made me want to see the movie less.

OK, it’s 18 minutes into the show and I don’t see the stars…. Where are the stars???

Now Seal is a delicious piece of eye candy – don’t get me wrong—but his duet with Syesha of “Waiting for You”…. I don’t know dog, I just wasn’t feeling it. It was OK. It was all right but it wasn’t great. But could Seal’s white pants have been any tighter?

So Jason Castro doesn’t get a duet? And what about that back-handed introduction by Ryan …

OK, I know this is not the Super Bowl or even close to it, but you’d think with the potential viewership of multi millions, the commercials would be a little more entertaining. They’re not.

OMG – why are they doing this to Donna Summer’s song. They look like they’re in a really bad high school musical. I love to love Donna Summer – I’m glad she’s still got a career, but I don’t know about this new song – I wish she’s sing some of her old stuff … OK, the music gods have answered. “Last Dance” – that is my jam. Boy, Syesha’s getting a lot of air time – hmmm. And looking especially Beyonce-ish, first with the bootie shorts and then with the low-cut, tight red dress. Hey Sy- I hear these girls Kelly and Michelle are looking for a third.

The best thing about the finale show and dragging out all the losers (literally, not figuratively) is because it reassures voters that they made the right decision.

Chickezie didn’t show up until 46 minutes into the show. What do you think that means?

Bryan Adams. Bryan Adams. Bryan Adams. If you say his name three times while looking in the mirror, he’ll appear. Kinda like the Candy Man, only much scarier.

ZZ Top is performing. I’m turning the channel. Somebody tell me if Lil D was able to pull off a look of surprise when his name is announced.

That’s it for Idol 2008.

Let's Get Ready to Rumble?

The only thing that would have made this boxing-homage more ridiculous is a guest appearance by the original K.I.N.G. - Don, that is.

So (and I apologize for playing into this theme) for Round One, the songs were chosen by none other than the career-maker himself, Clive Davis.
Note to Clive: How’s that Whitney comeback going?

David Cook sang U2’s “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” This is one of those songs that takes you back to Jordache jeans, Baby Jessica and Fatal Attraction. You can almost follow along with your own mini timeline.
But DC’s version needed its own subtitles --- I couldn't understand a word he was saying!
Young Cook, rocker he is. Bono, he is not.
Randy: copy cat. copy cat. Yo mama is a dirty rat. [were me and my friends the only ones who said that?] So now "Randy" is calling David Cook "DC."
Paula: We found David Cook. Whewwwww!
Simon: You looked very tense and very emotional but taking all that, I thought it was phenomenal.


Lil’ D: [silently praying: Don’t mess this up. Don’t mess this up.] This is one of my all time favorite songs – especially the cover duet by Elton John and my white baby daddy George Michael. And at times, the ambitious Archuleta seemed like he was singing a duet – by himself. Way to sing both parts Lil D. Is it possible? Could the baby-faced balladeer be channeling his inner Georgelton?
Randy: That was flawless and unbelievably molten hot. Crazy! [Repeat about 7 times]
Paula: I’ve got chills.
Simon: It’s very easy to get over excited tonight. I thought last week was OK. I thought tonight’s performance was arguably the best you’ve done so far. Taking everything into account, round one goes to Archuleta.


Round Two: America’s Choice. The guys sing songs submitted by songwriters from around the country. The top 10 were presented and the Davids could choose their favorite to sing.

David Cook sang a song called “Dream Big.” This is by far the most important song selection because these are unknown songs, and these guys can truly (as they say in the biz) make them their own. If I closed my eyes, I would have thought I was listening to an awards show performance or a video on VH1or a cosmetics commercial or one of those cheesy teasers for The Hills. My point is that this song was believable. It was hip and current. I could not have disagreed more with the judges. Does the “winning song” have to be dripping with sweetness and sap to be considered finale worthy?
Randy: not the best song, but your vocals were great
Simon: lightweight. This is supposed to be a winning song and that didn’t sound like a winner.
Paula [my favorite comment of the night]: But it wasn’t the winning song. Was it?


Lil D sang “In This Moment” which this lowly viewer thought was better suited for the ‘songs from the Olympics’ compilation CD than the American Idol finale.
Randy: song sucked but I still have a man crush on you and you can do no wrong [I’m paraphrasing]
Simon: You chose the better song. [I disagree] Round Two goes to Lil D.
I guess my answer to the sugar and sap question is a resounding yes. That song was so syrupy, it made my teeth hurt.


Round Three: contestants’ choice

Cookie (since Randy took my nickname) chose Collective Soul’s “The World I Know.” By default, he’s my favorite, but I have to offer this bit of criticism. Dave – this could be the very last song you sing for America (besides the shameless Idol tour you’ll be forced to participate in); I wanted to see you push yourself. Step outside your rockbox. Your most memorable performances were the ones where you put the DC spin on a non-rock classic. There was nothing to “spin” here. It was like Hillary’s win in West Virginia – nothing unexpected happened.
Randy: That was a very nice sensitive side
Paula: I know my anonymous readers want me to include her comments, but dude – she’s a Vicodin away from being a vegetable.
Simon: You are one of the nicest, most sincere contestants we’ve had. This was completely the wrong song choice; you should have sung “Billie Jean” (Michael Jackson) or “Hello” (Lionel Richie). [Exactly Simon! Exactly!]
But how about Cookie’s dig at Lil D – somebody’s been watching CNN J “Tonight isn’t about the past, so why do something I’ve already done.” SLAAAAM. In yo face Utah boy.
OK, we all know Utah boy is going to win by a TKO, but Cookie got in a good right hook.


So Lil D chose “Imagine.” Yes, when this little boy sings this song, it makes grown women start looking up the “age of consent” for their home state… But he could’ve given us something else. I would’ve loved to have heard him sing something more contemporary – not Chris Brown, but maybe John Mayer or some blue-eyed soul like Robin Thicke. Or John Legend.
Randy: You are exactly what this show is about. I think Randy is looking up the age…. Just kidding. Just kidding!
Paula: You were stunning tonight.
Simon: At the end of the day, this show is about finding a star, and tonight this is the best finals we’ve had. You came out here to win, but what we’ve witnessed is a knock out. [what I tell ya?]


The most satisfying part of the show was seeing Ruben Studdard get about 15 more minutes of fame. They owe him that.

Winding Down

Two more nights to go, and I’m having withdrawals already. Tonight, the hopefuls sang three songs each: one song chosen by a judge; one song selected by the contestant and the last song chosen by the producers.

Round One -- Judges Pick

OK, so I missed the first 10 minutes of tonight’s show (long story), so someone will have to fill me in on lil D’s performance.

But I came in just as Syesha sang Randy’s pick for her: Alicia Key’s “If I Can’t Have You”. I thought she did a good job –she sounded youthful and contemporary. It was a song everybody knows. Good pick.
Randy: I thought this was a good pick for you; you did an amazing job. That’s why you’re in the top three.
Paula: blah blah blah
Simon: You sang it very well, but I wish Randy had chosen a song that didn’t force you to sound like the original. But you look amazing. [Translation: we can sell the heck out of your body.]

Simon chose Roberta Flack’s “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” for David Cook, who was obviously shocked when the choice was revealed. To Simon’s credit, it is one of those folksy ballads that can be interpreted a number of ways –which is David’s strength.
Johnny Cash put a twang to it
Leona Lewis put some English soul to it
And true to form, David put the DC spin on it.
Randy: I wish Simon hadn’t picked something so predictable and traditional. I want the rocker. [I don’t think Randy was listening. The edge was definitely there.]
Paula: blah blah blah
Simon: one of your best performances. [I disagree –not the best. Let’s not forget “Hello” from 80s night and “Always Be My Baby” from Mariah Carey night.]

Round Two – Contestant’s Pick

OK, if there was ever any doubt that David Archuleta is NOT ready for prime time, his performance of cutie patootie Chris Brown’s “With You” was proof. He looked uncomfortable. The dancing was pitiful. It just all seemed so contrived and forced -- like Taylor Hicks trying to sing Bobby Brown. For those of you who have not heard of Chris Brown (and I can’t imagine who you are), this is how that song is supposed to sound.
Randy: I applaud the fact you’re trying something young and hip, but it wasn’t believable. [true dat!]
Paula: …
Simon: It was a little like a Chihuahua trying to be a Tiger, It’s not really you. It was a bit awkward – the dancing. [Translation: You’d never make it on MTV.]

Syesha chose “Fever” by Peggy Lee. OK, my issue now with Syesha is that she’s talking too much. She spent three months barely saying a word and now she’s chatty Cathy. “I wanted to use the cherrrrrr,” she purred. She’s too old for the baby talk. And out of all the songs in all the world, she chooses a song originally written in 1937. Now, she’s been singing Whitney and Mariah all competition long, but tonight she goes old school??? I’m reminded of Katharine McPhee’s writhing- on-the-floor performance of “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.” True –sex sells. But Beyonce’s sexiness sells today, not Eartha Kitt’s.
Randy: interesting choice [translation: what’s with the sexy thang?] but you sang it well
Paula: repeat of Randy, which is basically what she does
Simon: You’ll regret that choice. Instead of showing your contemporary side, you gave a cabaret performance. [too bad]

David chose a song I’d never heard of “Dare You to Move” by a band I’d never heard of, Switchfoot. The only issue I had with this choice is that for the first time, he chose a song that he absolutely did not have to alter to fit his style. This song IS his style.
Randy: wasn’t your best tonight. A little pitchy. [dude!]
Paula: …
Simon: not the best melodic song. All three of you had an OK middle round…

Which brings us to Round Three: producers pick

Lil D was given “Longer” by Dan Folgerberg. This is soooo him, which doesn’t say much. It’s like the Dem primaries – forget the delegate count; who’s the most electable? In this case, who will sell records? Not this guy. Also, was it just me or were the background vocals amazing on this song?? I think the backup singers stole this show.
Randy: you could sing the phone book; another hot one from you
Simon: not going to criticize you; however the song and lyrics were horrible. Something you choose for a 90 year old and you’re 17. [my point exactly …] But you’ve done enough to get into the finals. [unfortunately so]

Syesha sang Gia Farrell’s “Hit Me Up” from the Happy Feet soundtrack. After this breathy performance, I’m not sure Sy Baby is ready for prime time either. If Beyonce can dance full-throttle in heels for three hours while singing live, surely Syesha can sing three songs (not even consecutively) without running out of breath. Come on!
Randy: just OK
Simon: Better than the second song, but [and I’m paraphrasing here] not good enough to make it to the final two.

David Cook sang Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” (from the Armageddon soundtrack) Now, I love, love, love Aerosmith so he could have just mouthed the lyrics and I would have been happy. But he did a good job. All the judges were on target here…
Randy: predictable [true]
Paula: testimony to amazing songwriters like Dianne Warren (who was in the audience). We’ll see you in the finals [true]
Simon: David Cook wins tonight [absolutely]

So who wins next week … I don’t know. I really don’t. America will either vote with their hearts (lil D) or heads (DC). The only thing is –for me—David Cook is not really an amateur. He’s already had a professional singing career –first as lead singer of Axium, voted best band in Kansas City in 2004 (lisa, is that a blog post?) and then as a solo artist. It’s like when the Olympic basketball Dream Team beat up on all those poor countries during 1992 games – just didn’t seem like a fair fight.