Idol Musings: Six degrees of Mariah Carey

When American Idol debuted six years ago, there was much speculation about judge Randy Jackson’s musical roots. Fueling the theory that all Black people really do look alike, many people assumed he was Michael’s little brother. Well, we’ve since learned that he is so not. But recently, I learned that the two famous (OK … half-way well-known in some circles) Randy Jacksons actually share more than a name … they also share an eerie connection to the woman I consider the Billie Holiday of our time – Miss (call me MiMi) Mariah Carey.

Randy Jackson (nee Steven Randall Jackson) is the youngest son of the musical group, the Jacksons. His younger sister is Janet Jackson. In the early 80s, little Janet struck out on her own and announced that she was taking “Control” of her career. One of the biggest hits of that album was “Nasty.” Paula Abdul (coming off her Laker Girl days) choreographed the video for “Nasty” (watch video) Today, Paula shares judging responsibilities on American Idol with the other Randy Jackson, who, in 2006, helped revamp the international tour of … Miss Mariah Carey.


American Idol’s Randy Jackson has also worked with the likes of Billy Joel, Bob Dylan and Carlos Santana. In 2000, Santana teamed up with former Refugee Wyclef Jean to pen the hit “Maria Maria.” Wyclef was one of the first artists to work with the sensational girl group Destiny’s Child (he produced the “No, No, No” re-mix). Destiny’s Child, along with Knowles sister Solange, sing the title track to the Disney animated series “The Proud Family.” Randy (Michael’s brother) Jackson was a guest-star on the show, along with songstress Alicia Keys. Keys hails from New York, was born to mixed parentage and was raised by her single mom. So was … Miss Mariah Carey.

For the past few years, Steven Randall Jackson has been living at brother Michael’s Neverland Ranch. In the 80s, child star Emmanuel Lewis was a frequent visitor to Neverland (gross). In 2006, “Webster” tried to grab 5 more minutes of fame by appearing on the VH1 Surreal Life Fame Games. One of his fellow contestants was Sandra “Pepa” Denton of the rap duo Salt-n-Pepa. In the 90s, SNP teamed with girl group En Vogue (what happened to them? Those girls could sing circles around Beyonce and ‘dem in their sleep) for the hit “Whatta Man.” En Vogue enjoyed their own success with songs like “Don’t Let Go” and “Too Gone Too Long,” penned by Diane Warren. Warren owns a record label with Idol judge Randy Jackson, whose solo album “Randy Jackson’s Music Club” features … Miss Mariah Carey.

An Idol Mind ...

This week Idol traveled to the Heartland – uncharted territory for the show – and pitched its tent in Nebraska, that bastion of musical talent. Did you know that Julie Wilson, Paul Williams, Randy Williams and Randy Meisner are all Nebraska natives? I have one more question for you: who the heck are they??? They said 10,000 people showed up for the Nebraska auditions. Dudes, that’s half the state! OK, I’m exaggerating. But c’mon! Omaha?
Well, the Idol gods obviously know what they’re doing. They gave us Taylor Hicks, didn’t they?

So the first contestant was Chris Burnhhhhhhhsle-something-or other. Chris is the man. He came bearing gifts and questionable (uh-hmm stalker) photos of Kelly Clarkson. And boy were the judges impressed. Sure, they berated his singing and crushed his dreams of becoming an American Idol, BUT they applauded his ass-kissing efforts and rewarded him with sort-of a gig. Like, maybe, if he gets in touch with Omaha’s Fox affiliate (he won’t) and maybe if they don’t have him arrested for trespassing, then maybe he can drop Simon’s name and like maybe host the affiliate's broadcast of the Idol Finale. Wait. Does that job even exist? Oh Chris. Burn.

But the one thing Chris had going for him was Paula’s absence. She missed her (wink) plane again and showed up late for judging. Paula has a history of absenteeism. But then, is Paula ever really “there?”

In fact, let me pause for this PSA – Paula Service Announcement.
Crack is whack, girl. Crack is whack.
-- Brought to you by Houston Management Co.
Annnnywaaaay. In an exciting turn of events –Ryan poked his head in midway through the show to inquire as to why the lady wrestler wasn’t given a golden ticket. You'll never guess what happened then! Simon challenged him to sit in for Paula as a judge! OMG (exclamation point). I didn’t see that coming at all! Oh wait. Yes, I did. It was on the previews for this week’s show. This was just one example of the tameness (read lameness) of tonight's show.

When Chris Burnhhhhhhhsle-something-or other walked in the Judging Chamber TM, I thought, ‘now there is infectious enthusiasm.’ Enthusiastic it was. Infectious. Not so much. Even the glitter-clad dude who sang “Shout” – didn’t.
No trash-talking Simon on their way out the door. No tone-death duets. Just blah ... blah blah... blah blah.

But I have faith in the tasteless entertainment that is the Idol auditions. Not even Omaha-you're killing me with all the friggin corn-Nebraska can get me down.

Especially since there's a new episode tomorrow.

Until then I'll just entertain you with some musically inspired Nebraska fun facts.

• In 1927, Edwin E. Perkins of Hastings invented the powered soft drink Kool-Aid. Musical connection: Bowling for Soup penned a song called "Kool-aid."
• Nebraska is the birthplace of the Reuben sandwich. REUBEN Studdard was the winner of Idol Season 2.
• The 911 system of emergency communications, now used nationwide, was developed and first used in Lincoln, Nebraska. The iconic rap group Public Enemy tells us that "911 is a joke."
• Origin of Nebraska's Name: From an Oto Indian word meaning flat water. Jeff OTTO is a big fan of American Idol.

OK, that's all I got.

Caruthers. OUT.

*Editors Note: Last week, I insinuated that the great state of South Carolina was still fighting the Civil War because they refused to take down the confederate flag from the capitol. Well, I was wrong. Technically, the confederate flag flies on the grounds of the Statehouse - having been removed from the Dome on July 4th 2000.

Idol Chatter

This week, Idol debuted in South Carolina – the friendliest state. OK, I may be mistaken, but isn’t this the same state that still flies the Confederate Flag above the state capitol? I feel all tingly inside from the love.

So our first “contestant” was Breshard, the Black Clay Aiken. Let me tell you I was shocked –shocked! – to learn that he was from Atlanta…But a sistah was admiring the big Angela Davis-Jesse Jackson-back-in-the day- fro. Then there was DeAna. Not Deana. Get it right. [insert finger snap and eye-roll here] The thing I love about Idol is the multitude of life tips the show dishes out. Take last week. We learned a new phrase for the mysterious dark line that appears under the eyelids of seemingly hetero men: guyliner. This week, we learned that if you capitalize a letter or two in your name, people will be forced to correctly pronounce it. So from here on, I will be known as TeRee. But my favorite of the night was Joshua, the myth debunker. His assertion that the televised competition is rigged and fake -- well, let's just say there's a position waiting for him at the CIA. Bin Laden better watch his back.

So you're probably asking -- what did she think about Amy the abstinence enforcer? I’ll put it in terms even Amy could understand. A is for annoying. A is for airhead, amazingly untalented. Adorable? (not so much)

Hey kids – do you have that “Owwww!” factor? Here’s how you can tell. Do you sport a necktie as a headband? Can you pull off wearing three different patterns in the same outfit? Can you “bowchickawahwah” like a skin flick soundtrack? If you answered yes to any of these questions – you just might have the “Owwww!” factor.

And now's the perfect time to take a moment of silence to recognize the death of fashion. Yes, those were arm warmers Paula was wearing.

Idol Gossip:
Reality junkies rejoice! Idol 2’s Kimberly Locke (known as K-Lo to her fans –that would be me and my sister, basically) is dating the very handsome and yet very married Harvey Walden –the drill sergeant on VH1 Celebrity Fit Club.