Idol Chatter

This week, Idol debuted in South Carolina – the friendliest state. OK, I may be mistaken, but isn’t this the same state that still flies the Confederate Flag above the state capitol? I feel all tingly inside from the love.

So our first “contestant” was Breshard, the Black Clay Aiken. Let me tell you I was shocked –shocked! – to learn that he was from Atlanta…But a sistah was admiring the big Angela Davis-Jesse Jackson-back-in-the day- fro. Then there was DeAna. Not Deana. Get it right. [insert finger snap and eye-roll here] The thing I love about Idol is the multitude of life tips the show dishes out. Take last week. We learned a new phrase for the mysterious dark line that appears under the eyelids of seemingly hetero men: guyliner. This week, we learned that if you capitalize a letter or two in your name, people will be forced to correctly pronounce it. So from here on, I will be known as TeRee. But my favorite of the night was Joshua, the myth debunker. His assertion that the televised competition is rigged and fake -- well, let's just say there's a position waiting for him at the CIA. Bin Laden better watch his back.

So you're probably asking -- what did she think about Amy the abstinence enforcer? I’ll put it in terms even Amy could understand. A is for annoying. A is for airhead, amazingly untalented. Adorable? (not so much)

Hey kids – do you have that “Owwww!” factor? Here’s how you can tell. Do you sport a necktie as a headband? Can you pull off wearing three different patterns in the same outfit? Can you “bowchickawahwah” like a skin flick soundtrack? If you answered yes to any of these questions – you just might have the “Owwww!” factor.

And now's the perfect time to take a moment of silence to recognize the death of fashion. Yes, those were arm warmers Paula was wearing.

Idol Gossip:
Reality junkies rejoice! Idol 2’s Kimberly Locke (known as K-Lo to her fans –that would be me and my sister, basically) is dating the very handsome and yet very married Harvey Walden –the drill sergeant on VH1 Celebrity Fit Club.