OK, so all I can really blog about are the 30 minutes of Idol I saw tonight. (I've GOT to get TiVo -- ANTM is awesome this cycle!)
I'll just say I cannot wait until next week when we get to the 80s. These last two weeks have taken all of the Ohhhh! out of Old School. These kids -- most of whom weren't even a thought in their parents' minds in the 70s -- are just having a difficult time picking songs that aren't part of a tired 70s cliche. I love the BeeGees just as much as the next girl, but I'm with Simon -- some of those songs from the 70s were past their prime the minute they were released. I think they'll have a much better go at it next week, considering most songs from the 80s have been sampled in rap songs, so at least they'll be familiar to the contestants. Now anyone who knows me is aware of my love of 80s music. I continue to assert that 1984 (Purple Rain AND Thriller, c'mon!) was the best year for music ever. So if TEREE were picking songs for the contestants, here's what they'd be singing next week:
Carly Smithson (Pat Benetar, Love Is a Battlefield)
Syesha Mercado (Whitney Houston, I Wanna Dance With Somebody)
Brooke White (Madonna, Crazy For You)
Ramiele Malubay (Tina Turner, What's Love Got to Do With It)
Kristy Lee Cook (Taylor Dane, I'll Always Love You)
Amanda Overmyer (Cher, If I Could Turn Back Time)
Alaina Whitaker (Sheena Easton, Morning Train)
Alexandrea Lushington (Kim Wilde, You Keep Me Hanging On)
Kady Malloy (The Bangles, Eternal Flame)
Asia'h Eperson (Bonnie Tyler, Total Eclipse of the Heart)
Chikezie Ezie (Luther Vandross, A House Is Not a Home)
Michael Johns (Elton John, I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues)
Jason Castro (George Harrison, Got My Mind Set on You --he can strum that %$&!? guitar)
Luke Menard (Lionel Richie, Hello)
Robbie Carrico (Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead or Alive)
Danny Noriega (Culture Club, Karma Chameleon)
David Hernandez (George Michael, Careless Whisper or One More Try)
Jason Yeager (Simply Red, Holding Back the Years)
David Cook (Reo Speedwagon, Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore)
David Archuletta (Michael Jackson, Rock With You)
Idol Blues
I never thought I'd say this, but I am bored. BORRRRRR-ED of Idol -- at least tonight's episode. I don't know if it's the song choices or the contestants themselves but tonight, I actually turned it off. In fact, I turned off the television altogether. Michael Johns should definitely "go his own way." And Luke Menard -- he actually belongs to a singing group --an a capella group no less, so I was expecting much more from him. Maybe he should try it next week without the band. But it was Jason Castro and his darn guitar that broke this camel's back ...maybe it was the lack of originality or the fact that he thinks America and the judges are so blind and dumb that we'll see his guitar and forget that this is a singing competition or maybe I'm still reeling from the news that my musical hero (MC is my heroINE) Prince has to have hip replacement.
When Prince was the age of most of these contestants, he had released five albums (including the classic 1999) and had single handedly launched the careers of Morris Day and the Time, Vanity (and her Six) as well as Lisa Coleman and Wendy Melvoin (who-- a bit of trivia here-- wrote the TV show Heroes theme music).
I may be bored, but I'm still hopeful and of course, I'll tune in tomorrow (in between ANTM commercials) to hear the girls prove me wrong.
When Prince was the age of most of these contestants, he had released five albums (including the classic 1999) and had single handedly launched the careers of Morris Day and the Time, Vanity (and her Six) as well as Lisa Coleman and Wendy Melvoin (who-- a bit of trivia here-- wrote the TV show Heroes theme music).
I may be bored, but I'm still hopeful and of course, I'll tune in tomorrow (in between ANTM commercials) to hear the girls prove me wrong.
Introducing ....
In my Idol absence, guest blogger Jeff Otto gives us the run down on Wednesday's "Girls Night Out" ...
#1
Kristy Lee Cook, aka “Amazing Grace,” sounds thin and probably shouldn’t have sold her favorite horse. Very blah. Total karaoke. Perhaps she should be on one of the other shows you are watching cause she isn’t a contender in a singing contest.
#2
Joanne Bordello, who seems to identify herself as “the plus-size model,” didn’t look like a plus-size chick in her very flattering outfit, but didn’t seem like she gave it her all. Left me feeling like there was something missing.
#3 Alaina Whitaker 16 year old who has a real chance based on her performance tonight. She was comfortable and confident and even Simon liked her though he hated “I Love You More Today Than Yesterday” She either lost a sleeve on her shirt or those silly early nineties clothes are coming back
#4 Heavy Metal nurse Amanda Obermyer opened her act doing a cross between beatboxing and scatting which was closer to scat (in the animal kingdom sense) than music Randy and Paula loved her Simon asked if she forgot the words, thus the scatting. Evidently Simon doesn’t listen to much music because this was the second song of the night that he didn’t know. Amanda has a voice and a persona of someone twice her age and was dressed in something out of Edward Scissorhands closet
#5 Amy Davis Got her hair done got a make over and evidently didn’t have time to spend with her singing coach because her version of “where the Boys Are” was horrible - so bad that Laura said “poor girl” upon her conclusion.
#6 Brooke White “The Nanny” Sang “Happy Together” She has a great voice and although she started shaky she quickly recovered and found her groove and was comfortable and happy singing. She finally got some eye makeup and no longer looks like a pink-eyed rabbit. Simon accused her of being too sunny and happy.
#7 Alexandrea White - I was putting Lilly down so I had to rely on Laura for the critique on this one She sand Blood Sweat and Tears’ “Spinning Wheel” In Laura’s words “she was the bomb” Randy thought the same and surprise, surprise, Simon “Didn’t get it”
#8 Katie Malloy contestant number 8 Blonde number 5 sang groovy kind of love and to quote Laura “Blah, Blah, Blah” Randy seemed to agree and it never happened for him. Paula gave her the curse of “You look really pretty, tonight” and Simon said “it was night of the living dead” By the time Simon was done Katie could have killed him with her glare.
#9 Dead daddy's girl Asia’H Epperson did a version of Janis Joplin’s “Take another piece of my Heart” It was her own and she rocked it out. It was Simon’s favorite of the night and the other two agreed.
#10 Oh the misery of a slow song and too much drama “You Don’t have to Say you Love Me” by Ramiele did not do her big voice justice. Randy and Paula disagreed with me (the nerve) and poor Asia’H was dethroned as the night’s best just one singer later, by Simon.
#11 Shyeshs Mercado did “Tobacco Road “ and she has some pipes but it wasn’t the best song choice. She was praised for her consistency by all three and she didn’t do her best but has nothing to worry about.
#12 Tattooed Carley Smithson from Ireland did a strong lounge act performance of a lame song. She did a good job Randy declared her the best of two nights Paula loved her and Simon dissed her hard. Song too old performance too cabaret and basically said her talent was wasted and likened her to Kellie and Fantasia
Overall the guys were a better show and at 8:35 we were ready for the thing to be done. We still had two to go . Have you noticed that they all have the same color teeth? Laura suspects a group teeth whitening notes
#1
Kristy Lee Cook, aka “Amazing Grace,” sounds thin and probably shouldn’t have sold her favorite horse. Very blah. Total karaoke. Perhaps she should be on one of the other shows you are watching cause she isn’t a contender in a singing contest.
#2
Joanne Bordello, who seems to identify herself as “the plus-size model,” didn’t look like a plus-size chick in her very flattering outfit, but didn’t seem like she gave it her all. Left me feeling like there was something missing.
#3 Alaina Whitaker 16 year old who has a real chance based on her performance tonight. She was comfortable and confident and even Simon liked her though he hated “I Love You More Today Than Yesterday” She either lost a sleeve on her shirt or those silly early nineties clothes are coming back
#4 Heavy Metal nurse Amanda Obermyer opened her act doing a cross between beatboxing and scatting which was closer to scat (in the animal kingdom sense) than music Randy and Paula loved her Simon asked if she forgot the words, thus the scatting. Evidently Simon doesn’t listen to much music because this was the second song of the night that he didn’t know. Amanda has a voice and a persona of someone twice her age and was dressed in something out of Edward Scissorhands closet
#5 Amy Davis Got her hair done got a make over and evidently didn’t have time to spend with her singing coach because her version of “where the Boys Are” was horrible - so bad that Laura said “poor girl” upon her conclusion.
#6 Brooke White “The Nanny” Sang “Happy Together” She has a great voice and although she started shaky she quickly recovered and found her groove and was comfortable and happy singing. She finally got some eye makeup and no longer looks like a pink-eyed rabbit. Simon accused her of being too sunny and happy.
#7 Alexandrea White - I was putting Lilly down so I had to rely on Laura for the critique on this one She sand Blood Sweat and Tears’ “Spinning Wheel” In Laura’s words “she was the bomb” Randy thought the same and surprise, surprise, Simon “Didn’t get it”
#8 Katie Malloy contestant number 8 Blonde number 5 sang groovy kind of love and to quote Laura “Blah, Blah, Blah” Randy seemed to agree and it never happened for him. Paula gave her the curse of “You look really pretty, tonight” and Simon said “it was night of the living dead” By the time Simon was done Katie could have killed him with her glare.
#9 Dead daddy's girl Asia’H Epperson did a version of Janis Joplin’s “Take another piece of my Heart” It was her own and she rocked it out. It was Simon’s favorite of the night and the other two agreed.
#10 Oh the misery of a slow song and too much drama “You Don’t have to Say you Love Me” by Ramiele did not do her big voice justice. Randy and Paula disagreed with me (the nerve) and poor Asia’H was dethroned as the night’s best just one singer later, by Simon.
#11 Shyeshs Mercado did “Tobacco Road “ and she has some pipes but it wasn’t the best song choice. She was praised for her consistency by all three and she didn’t do her best but has nothing to worry about.
#12 Tattooed Carley Smithson from Ireland did a strong lounge act performance of a lame song. She did a good job Randy declared her the best of two nights Paula loved her and Simon dissed her hard. Song too old performance too cabaret and basically said her talent was wasted and likened her to Kellie and Fantasia
Overall the guys were a better show and at 8:35 we were ready for the thing to be done. We still had two to go . Have you noticed that they all have the same color teeth? Laura suspects a group teeth whitening notes
Boy Crazy
It’s 60s week on Idol as America gets to whittle down the 24 to 12. The boys are up first, followed by the girls on Wednesday and the results show on Thursday. For Idol newcomers, this will go on for the next three weeks and then it’ll go to Tuesday and Wednesday only.
OK, now that that’s settled, here are the high and low notes of the night.
David Hernandez (my Elliott Yamin) started the show off right with a very contemporary rendition of Wilson Pickett’s “In the Midnight Hour.” He is definitely one to watch … or at least I like watching him.
Chikezie Chikezie … not so easy, huh bruh? His orange suit was off the chain, although my man shudna been throwin ‘bows at Simon for dissin’ his duds. Lose a little weight and bruhman gets much ‘tude.
Translation: While Mr. Ezie looked handsome in his suit, his poor singing left him vulnerable to Simon’s criticisms. Consequently, Mr. Ezie was in no position to trade insults with Mr. Cowell.
David Cook. Chris Daughtry anyone? (without as much talent)
I have to go back to Chikezie. I mean who does he think he is to start picking fights with the judges on the FIRST night???? No home training. But then when your parents look like Rog and Mama from What’s Happening …
I thought I was going to have to take a Tylenol PM to get to sleep tonight, but then Jason Yeager sang Moon River and I was out… And was it my imagination or did Simon call him David? Geez, was his performance that forgettable?
Little David Archuleta is so Menudo cute. Doesn’t he look like a young Ricky Martin? And his You Better Shop Around was just too adorable for words. So no more –words, that is.
If you haven’t guessed, Danny Noriega is this season’s Sanjiya. He’s a crowd pleaser (more show than talent) and his super cool hairstyle will win him points with the teenage girls who make up the majority of voters. Simon called his performance grotesque … $10 says he’ll be in the top 12.
Programming note: I missed the second half putting the youngun to bed, so somebody feel free to fill me in.
OK, now that that’s settled, here are the high and low notes of the night.
David Hernandez (my Elliott Yamin) started the show off right with a very contemporary rendition of Wilson Pickett’s “In the Midnight Hour.” He is definitely one to watch … or at least I like watching him.
Chikezie Chikezie … not so easy, huh bruh? His orange suit was off the chain, although my man shudna been throwin ‘bows at Simon for dissin’ his duds. Lose a little weight and bruhman gets much ‘tude.
Translation: While Mr. Ezie looked handsome in his suit, his poor singing left him vulnerable to Simon’s criticisms. Consequently, Mr. Ezie was in no position to trade insults with Mr. Cowell.
David Cook. Chris Daughtry anyone? (without as much talent)
I have to go back to Chikezie. I mean who does he think he is to start picking fights with the judges on the FIRST night???? No home training. But then when your parents look like Rog and Mama from What’s Happening …
I thought I was going to have to take a Tylenol PM to get to sleep tonight, but then Jason Yeager sang Moon River and I was out… And was it my imagination or did Simon call him David? Geez, was his performance that forgettable?
Little David Archuleta is so Menudo cute. Doesn’t he look like a young Ricky Martin? And his You Better Shop Around was just too adorable for words. So no more –words, that is.
If you haven’t guessed, Danny Noriega is this season’s Sanjiya. He’s a crowd pleaser (more show than talent) and his super cool hairstyle will win him points with the teenage girls who make up the majority of voters. Simon called his performance grotesque … $10 says he’ll be in the top 12.
Programming note: I missed the second half putting the youngun to bed, so somebody feel free to fill me in.
Same Ol’ Idol
The first cut always evokes mixed feelings. It’s exciting because we feel like we’ve made our way through the coalmine that is the first three weeks of auditions to find those true diamonds in the rough. But on the other hand, some of those diamonds – at least the ones the judges say are gems -- still look suspiciously like lumps of coal. And that’s when the disappointment sets in. I always wonder what percentage is pipes and what percentage is purely physical.
What can you do? For every Carly Smithson, there’s bound to be a Kristy Lee Cook. No offense, but she’s no Carrie Underwood. And what about the dudes? Danny the rocker? Really? Of course, that’s always been my least favorite thing about the Idols of the past three years –the need for the contest to pair an equal number of boys with girls. It never fails that the girls are infinitely more talented than the guys (sorry y’all but you know I’m right), and it always KILLS me to see a talented girl get booted for well, we all remember the Sanjiya debacle. But then there’s David Hernandez, my Elliott Yamin-in-the-making. He made it through. And that makes up for a lot.
OK, So who thinks Josiah Leming was robbed? He’s got this weird Adam Duritz nasal twang going. I like it.
OK, new question. Who thinks Josiah will end up stalking one or more of the judges?
OK, last question. Who thinks Josiah probably rode the short bus to Hamblen County Alternative School?
Well despite my disappointment that we won’t get to see Josiah cry every Wednesday for another two months (I mean, they kicked Ricky, the resident crier, off Project Runway. Where’s the love???), I am still anxiously awaiting all that Season 7 has to offer.
What can you do? For every Carly Smithson, there’s bound to be a Kristy Lee Cook. No offense, but she’s no Carrie Underwood. And what about the dudes? Danny the rocker? Really? Of course, that’s always been my least favorite thing about the Idols of the past three years –the need for the contest to pair an equal number of boys with girls. It never fails that the girls are infinitely more talented than the guys (sorry y’all but you know I’m right), and it always KILLS me to see a talented girl get booted for well, we all remember the Sanjiya debacle. But then there’s David Hernandez, my Elliott Yamin-in-the-making. He made it through. And that makes up for a lot.
OK, So who thinks Josiah Leming was robbed? He’s got this weird Adam Duritz nasal twang going. I like it.
OK, new question. Who thinks Josiah will end up stalking one or more of the judges?
OK, last question. Who thinks Josiah probably rode the short bus to Hamblen County Alternative School?
Well despite my disappointment that we won’t get to see Josiah cry every Wednesday for another two months (I mean, they kicked Ricky, the resident crier, off Project Runway. Where’s the love???), I am still anxiously awaiting all that Season 7 has to offer.
Hooray for Hollywood
Finally! Idol has made it to Hollywood, and now the real contest begins. This is the part of the competition that separates the Sinatras from the Sanjias. Or so we hope.
So here’s the premise – the contestants get a first turn in front of the judges. If they get a “yes,” they go hit the pool or hotel bar and are good until Thursday. If they get a “no,” it’s back to the drawing board to prepare for a second chance on Wednesday.
Brooke opened up the night with her rendition of Beautiful during which she played the keyboard. This is the first year the contestants are allowed to play an instrument during their audition/performance. And I am LOV-ing it. As someone who does not play an instrument (which means the following statement should be taken with a grain of salt), I’ve always believed that singers who are also musicians are far more credible than those who aren’t. And then there are the triple threats – singers who write their own lyrics and compose their own arrangements and then play them. Now, they are the real musical geniuses. So, do we have some Alicias or Princes in the Idol mix. After tonight, it’s not looking good. I mean there were some hits, but probably more misses. And when they missed, Simon was relentless.
Here are the highlights: “You have the stage presence of a flea.” “You should take an axe to that.” “Shawn, don’t do that again.” “There was nothing redeeming about that performance except that we stopped it early.” OUCH!
Turns out plain old singing works just fine.
Case in point: #4713. Just in time for Valentines Day, this Elliot Yamin-esque crooner won over the judges (and me) with “Love the One You’re With.”
Sidenote: Speaking of Elliot Yamin … If you haven’t peeped his CD, you should give it a listen. True, my favorite Idol loser is a big hit among the Radio Disney demographic, but his themes are mature enough that you won’t feel like a loser buying the album.
Back to present day: The Latin Lover (is that PC?) – with his accent and slick headphones -- made the ladies smile, but his performance made Simon cringe, and unfortunately for him, Simon is the one who counts. Would Josiah from Hotlanta fair better? Hell to the yeah! (as Whit Whit would say) His performance was off the chain –despite his creepy look and even creepier name. I mean “Josiah” doesn’t say Idol as much as it screams Children of the Corn. Tattoed Carly from Cali was another of the night’s unconventional contestants that blew away the competition. And even Harry Potter made it through to the final 24. Could this be the year of the anti-Idol?
I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait to find out!
…. As long as no one ever, ever, never, ever, ever sings “Everything I Do” ever again. Somewhere some 16-year-old in the ‘burbs is asking her mom, “Who the heck is Bryan Adams?” My sentiments exactly.
So here’s the premise – the contestants get a first turn in front of the judges. If they get a “yes,” they go hit the pool or hotel bar and are good until Thursday. If they get a “no,” it’s back to the drawing board to prepare for a second chance on Wednesday.
Brooke opened up the night with her rendition of Beautiful during which she played the keyboard. This is the first year the contestants are allowed to play an instrument during their audition/performance. And I am LOV-ing it. As someone who does not play an instrument (which means the following statement should be taken with a grain of salt), I’ve always believed that singers who are also musicians are far more credible than those who aren’t. And then there are the triple threats – singers who write their own lyrics and compose their own arrangements and then play them. Now, they are the real musical geniuses. So, do we have some Alicias or Princes in the Idol mix. After tonight, it’s not looking good. I mean there were some hits, but probably more misses. And when they missed, Simon was relentless.
Here are the highlights: “You have the stage presence of a flea.” “You should take an axe to that.” “Shawn, don’t do that again.” “There was nothing redeeming about that performance except that we stopped it early.” OUCH!
Turns out plain old singing works just fine.
Case in point: #4713. Just in time for Valentines Day, this Elliot Yamin-esque crooner won over the judges (and me) with “Love the One You’re With.”
Sidenote: Speaking of Elliot Yamin … If you haven’t peeped his CD, you should give it a listen. True, my favorite Idol loser is a big hit among the Radio Disney demographic, but his themes are mature enough that you won’t feel like a loser buying the album.
Back to present day: The Latin Lover (is that PC?) – with his accent and slick headphones -- made the ladies smile, but his performance made Simon cringe, and unfortunately for him, Simon is the one who counts. Would Josiah from Hotlanta fair better? Hell to the yeah! (as Whit Whit would say) His performance was off the chain –despite his creepy look and even creepier name. I mean “Josiah” doesn’t say Idol as much as it screams Children of the Corn. Tattoed Carly from Cali was another of the night’s unconventional contestants that blew away the competition. And even Harry Potter made it through to the final 24. Could this be the year of the anti-Idol?
I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait to find out!
…. As long as no one ever, ever, never, ever, ever sings “Everything I Do” ever again. Somewhere some 16-year-old in the ‘burbs is asking her mom, “Who the heck is Bryan Adams?” My sentiments exactly.
It all comes back to Idol
I woke up this morning – literally -- with a smile on my face. One might chalk it up to the Tylenol PM I took last night, which allowed me to have the first full night of sleep in about a month. BUT that wasn’t it. I woke up filled with excitement, and dare I say it, hope that today, by casting my vote in the Super Duper primary, I could be a part of history. So full of promise was this day that I didn’t even let my 6-year-old’s temper tantrum, the gray sky or packed parking lot at my polling place spoil my high. But that’s where this fairytale ended. Inside the polling place was chaos. You couldn’t read the post-it-note-sized signs taped to the registration table, so no one knew which line to stand in. Make it to the table, and the volunteers – for many of whom the “Golden Years” is a distant memory – are chatting it up about Beverly Anne’s funeral (it was real nice) and so-and-so’s granddaughter (not so nice). And to top it off – out of five voting machines, only one at a time was useable because “the machine operators didn’t show up.” And of course these are the only people who know how to “operate the machines.” So this is it? Our most basic American right – one people fought and died for – being run like the fried pie booth at a church bizarre!
That’s when it hit me … what if the people who produced American Idol “produced” the elections. Think about it. What is the election process but a bunch of audition/performances. The debates. The stump speeches. The Sunday morning talk shows. All that’s missing is some theme music and a cool logo.
And the media and political pundits – well, they’re already judge (and jury). Wouldn’t Ann Coulter make a great Paula? And after every performance (debate, whatever), America votes. Text VOTE1 for Barack Obama, VOTE2 for Hillary Clinton …
Can’t you see it … it’s the results show, and there’s a teary-eyed Rudy Giuliani standing there with Ryan Seacrest (yes. Ryan Seacrest). They’re looking at a montage of campaign clips as the house band plays Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day.” In the crowd, his loyal fans hold signs that read “Do Your Duty. Vote for Rudy.” and “Come on Rudy. Shake your Booty.” Ann Coulter’s crying, but no one is paying attention. The other candidates are pretending to be sad as they huddle around the fallen hopeful …
Folks – THAT’s democracy.
That’s when it hit me … what if the people who produced American Idol “produced” the elections. Think about it. What is the election process but a bunch of audition/performances. The debates. The stump speeches. The Sunday morning talk shows. All that’s missing is some theme music and a cool logo.
And the media and political pundits – well, they’re already judge (and jury). Wouldn’t Ann Coulter make a great Paula? And after every performance (debate, whatever), America votes. Text VOTE1 for Barack Obama, VOTE2 for Hillary Clinton …
Can’t you see it … it’s the results show, and there’s a teary-eyed Rudy Giuliani standing there with Ryan Seacrest (yes. Ryan Seacrest). They’re looking at a montage of campaign clips as the house band plays Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day.” In the crowd, his loyal fans hold signs that read “Do Your Duty. Vote for Rudy.” and “Come on Rudy. Shake your Booty.” Ann Coulter’s crying, but no one is paying attention. The other candidates are pretending to be sad as they huddle around the fallen hopeful …
Folks – THAT’s democracy.
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