Wow. That ensemble song was … wow. There are no words. So, why was Syesha the only female contestant wearing go-go shorts? That whole thing was just weird.
But the David duet – that was hot. They were standing in their truth. Seriously, they sound really good together….too bad they can’t both win. Or cannnn they? Boy, wouldn’t that be a surprise ending. Fox doesn’t have the balls, though. The CW would do it.
What about Paramount’s shameless plug of The Love Guru? I think it made me want to see the movie less.
OK, it’s 18 minutes into the show and I don’t see the stars…. Where are the stars???
Now Seal is a delicious piece of eye candy – don’t get me wrong—but his duet with Syesha of “Waiting for You”…. I don’t know dog, I just wasn’t feeling it. It was OK. It was all right but it wasn’t great. But could Seal’s white pants have been any tighter?
So Jason Castro doesn’t get a duet? And what about that back-handed introduction by Ryan …
OK, I know this is not the Super Bowl or even close to it, but you’d think with the potential viewership of multi millions, the commercials would be a little more entertaining. They’re not.
OMG – why are they doing this to Donna Summer’s song. They look like they’re in a really bad high school musical. I love to love Donna Summer – I’m glad she’s still got a career, but I don’t know about this new song – I wish she’s sing some of her old stuff … OK, the music gods have answered. “Last Dance” – that is my jam. Boy, Syesha’s getting a lot of air time – hmmm. And looking especially Beyonce-ish, first with the bootie shorts and then with the low-cut, tight red dress. Hey Sy- I hear these girls Kelly and Michelle are looking for a third.
The best thing about the finale show and dragging out all the losers (literally, not figuratively) is because it reassures voters that they made the right decision.
Chickezie didn’t show up until 46 minutes into the show. What do you think that means?
Bryan Adams. Bryan Adams. Bryan Adams. If you say his name three times while looking in the mirror, he’ll appear. Kinda like the Candy Man, only much scarier.
ZZ Top is performing. I’m turning the channel. Somebody tell me if Lil D was able to pull off a look of surprise when his name is announced.
That’s it for Idol 2008.
Let's Get Ready to Rumble?
The only thing that would have made this boxing-homage more ridiculous is a guest appearance by the original K.I.N.G. - Don, that is.
So (and I apologize for playing into this theme) for Round One, the songs were chosen by none other than the career-maker himself, Clive Davis.
Note to Clive: How’s that Whitney comeback going?
David Cook sang U2’s “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” This is one of those songs that takes you back to Jordache jeans, Baby Jessica and Fatal Attraction. You can almost follow along with your own mini timeline.
But DC’s version needed its own subtitles --- I couldn't understand a word he was saying!
Young Cook, rocker he is. Bono, he is not.
Randy: copy cat. copy cat. Yo mama is a dirty rat. [were me and my friends the only ones who said that?] So now "Randy" is calling David Cook "DC."
Paula: We found David Cook. Whewwwww!
Simon: You looked very tense and very emotional but taking all that, I thought it was phenomenal.
Lil’ D: [silently praying: Don’t mess this up. Don’t mess this up.] This is one of my all time favorite songs – especially the cover duet by Elton John and my white baby daddy George Michael. And at times, the ambitious Archuleta seemed like he was singing a duet – by himself. Way to sing both parts Lil D. Is it possible? Could the baby-faced balladeer be channeling his inner Georgelton?
Randy: That was flawless and unbelievably molten hot. Crazy! [Repeat about 7 times]
Paula: I’ve got chills.
Simon: It’s very easy to get over excited tonight. I thought last week was OK. I thought tonight’s performance was arguably the best you’ve done so far. Taking everything into account, round one goes to Archuleta.
Round Two: America’s Choice. The guys sing songs submitted by songwriters from around the country. The top 10 were presented and the Davids could choose their favorite to sing.
David Cook sang a song called “Dream Big.” This is by far the most important song selection because these are unknown songs, and these guys can truly (as they say in the biz) make them their own. If I closed my eyes, I would have thought I was listening to an awards show performance or a video on VH1or a cosmetics commercial or one of those cheesy teasers for The Hills. My point is that this song was believable. It was hip and current. I could not have disagreed more with the judges. Does the “winning song” have to be dripping with sweetness and sap to be considered finale worthy?
Randy: not the best song, but your vocals were great
Simon: lightweight. This is supposed to be a winning song and that didn’t sound like a winner.
Paula [my favorite comment of the night]: But it wasn’t the winning song. Was it?
Lil D sang “In This Moment” which this lowly viewer thought was better suited for the ‘songs from the Olympics’ compilation CD than the American Idol finale.
Randy: song sucked but I still have a man crush on you and you can do no wrong [I’m paraphrasing]
Simon: You chose the better song. [I disagree] Round Two goes to Lil D.
I guess my answer to the sugar and sap question is a resounding yes. That song was so syrupy, it made my teeth hurt.
Round Three: contestants’ choice
Cookie (since Randy took my nickname) chose Collective Soul’s “The World I Know.” By default, he’s my favorite, but I have to offer this bit of criticism. Dave – this could be the very last song you sing for America (besides the shameless Idol tour you’ll be forced to participate in); I wanted to see you push yourself. Step outside your rockbox. Your most memorable performances were the ones where you put the DC spin on a non-rock classic. There was nothing to “spin” here. It was like Hillary’s win in West Virginia – nothing unexpected happened.
Randy: That was a very nice sensitive side
Paula: I know my anonymous readers want me to include her comments, but dude – she’s a Vicodin away from being a vegetable.
Simon: You are one of the nicest, most sincere contestants we’ve had. This was completely the wrong song choice; you should have sung “Billie Jean” (Michael Jackson) or “Hello” (Lionel Richie). [Exactly Simon! Exactly!]
But how about Cookie’s dig at Lil D – somebody’s been watching CNN J “Tonight isn’t about the past, so why do something I’ve already done.” SLAAAAM. In yo face Utah boy.
OK, we all know Utah boy is going to win by a TKO, but Cookie got in a good right hook.
So Lil D chose “Imagine.” Yes, when this little boy sings this song, it makes grown women start looking up the “age of consent” for their home state… But he could’ve given us something else. I would’ve loved to have heard him sing something more contemporary – not Chris Brown, but maybe John Mayer or some blue-eyed soul like Robin Thicke. Or John Legend.
Randy: You are exactly what this show is about. I think Randy is looking up the age…. Just kidding. Just kidding!
Paula: You were stunning tonight.
Simon: At the end of the day, this show is about finding a star, and tonight this is the best finals we’ve had. You came out here to win, but what we’ve witnessed is a knock out. [what I tell ya?]
The most satisfying part of the show was seeing Ruben Studdard get about 15 more minutes of fame. They owe him that.
So (and I apologize for playing into this theme) for Round One, the songs were chosen by none other than the career-maker himself, Clive Davis.
Note to Clive: How’s that Whitney comeback going?
David Cook sang U2’s “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” This is one of those songs that takes you back to Jordache jeans, Baby Jessica and Fatal Attraction. You can almost follow along with your own mini timeline.
But DC’s version needed its own subtitles --- I couldn't understand a word he was saying!
Young Cook, rocker he is. Bono, he is not.
Randy: copy cat. copy cat. Yo mama is a dirty rat. [were me and my friends the only ones who said that?] So now "Randy" is calling David Cook "DC."
Paula: We found David Cook. Whewwwww!
Simon: You looked very tense and very emotional but taking all that, I thought it was phenomenal.
Lil’ D: [silently praying: Don’t mess this up. Don’t mess this up.] This is one of my all time favorite songs – especially the cover duet by Elton John and my white baby daddy George Michael. And at times, the ambitious Archuleta seemed like he was singing a duet – by himself. Way to sing both parts Lil D. Is it possible? Could the baby-faced balladeer be channeling his inner Georgelton?
Randy: That was flawless and unbelievably molten hot. Crazy! [Repeat about 7 times]
Paula: I’ve got chills.
Simon: It’s very easy to get over excited tonight. I thought last week was OK. I thought tonight’s performance was arguably the best you’ve done so far. Taking everything into account, round one goes to Archuleta.
Round Two: America’s Choice. The guys sing songs submitted by songwriters from around the country. The top 10 were presented and the Davids could choose their favorite to sing.
David Cook sang a song called “Dream Big.” This is by far the most important song selection because these are unknown songs, and these guys can truly (as they say in the biz) make them their own. If I closed my eyes, I would have thought I was listening to an awards show performance or a video on VH1or a cosmetics commercial or one of those cheesy teasers for The Hills. My point is that this song was believable. It was hip and current. I could not have disagreed more with the judges. Does the “winning song” have to be dripping with sweetness and sap to be considered finale worthy?
Randy: not the best song, but your vocals were great
Simon: lightweight. This is supposed to be a winning song and that didn’t sound like a winner.
Paula [my favorite comment of the night]: But it wasn’t the winning song. Was it?
Lil D sang “In This Moment” which this lowly viewer thought was better suited for the ‘songs from the Olympics’ compilation CD than the American Idol finale.
Randy: song sucked but I still have a man crush on you and you can do no wrong [I’m paraphrasing]
Simon: You chose the better song. [I disagree] Round Two goes to Lil D.
I guess my answer to the sugar and sap question is a resounding yes. That song was so syrupy, it made my teeth hurt.
Round Three: contestants’ choice
Cookie (since Randy took my nickname) chose Collective Soul’s “The World I Know.” By default, he’s my favorite, but I have to offer this bit of criticism. Dave – this could be the very last song you sing for America (besides the shameless Idol tour you’ll be forced to participate in); I wanted to see you push yourself. Step outside your rockbox. Your most memorable performances were the ones where you put the DC spin on a non-rock classic. There was nothing to “spin” here. It was like Hillary’s win in West Virginia – nothing unexpected happened.
Randy: That was a very nice sensitive side
Paula: I know my anonymous readers want me to include her comments, but dude – she’s a Vicodin away from being a vegetable.
Simon: You are one of the nicest, most sincere contestants we’ve had. This was completely the wrong song choice; you should have sung “Billie Jean” (Michael Jackson) or “Hello” (Lionel Richie). [Exactly Simon! Exactly!]
But how about Cookie’s dig at Lil D – somebody’s been watching CNN J “Tonight isn’t about the past, so why do something I’ve already done.” SLAAAAM. In yo face Utah boy.
OK, we all know Utah boy is going to win by a TKO, but Cookie got in a good right hook.
So Lil D chose “Imagine.” Yes, when this little boy sings this song, it makes grown women start looking up the “age of consent” for their home state… But he could’ve given us something else. I would’ve loved to have heard him sing something more contemporary – not Chris Brown, but maybe John Mayer or some blue-eyed soul like Robin Thicke. Or John Legend.
Randy: You are exactly what this show is about. I think Randy is looking up the age…. Just kidding. Just kidding!
Paula: You were stunning tonight.
Simon: At the end of the day, this show is about finding a star, and tonight this is the best finals we’ve had. You came out here to win, but what we’ve witnessed is a knock out. [what I tell ya?]
The most satisfying part of the show was seeing Ruben Studdard get about 15 more minutes of fame. They owe him that.
Winding Down
Two more nights to go, and I’m having withdrawals already. Tonight, the hopefuls sang three songs each: one song chosen by a judge; one song selected by the contestant and the last song chosen by the producers.
Round One -- Judges Pick
OK, so I missed the first 10 minutes of tonight’s show (long story), so someone will have to fill me in on lil D’s performance.
But I came in just as Syesha sang Randy’s pick for her: Alicia Key’s “If I Can’t Have You”. I thought she did a good job –she sounded youthful and contemporary. It was a song everybody knows. Good pick.
Randy: I thought this was a good pick for you; you did an amazing job. That’s why you’re in the top three.
Paula: blah blah blah
Simon: You sang it very well, but I wish Randy had chosen a song that didn’t force you to sound like the original. But you look amazing. [Translation: we can sell the heck out of your body.]
Simon chose Roberta Flack’s “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” for David Cook, who was obviously shocked when the choice was revealed. To Simon’s credit, it is one of those folksy ballads that can be interpreted a number of ways –which is David’s strength.
Johnny Cash put a twang to it
Leona Lewis put some English soul to it
And true to form, David put the DC spin on it.
Randy: I wish Simon hadn’t picked something so predictable and traditional. I want the rocker. [I don’t think Randy was listening. The edge was definitely there.]
Paula: blah blah blah
Simon: one of your best performances. [I disagree –not the best. Let’s not forget “Hello” from 80s night and “Always Be My Baby” from Mariah Carey night.]
Round Two – Contestant’s Pick
OK, if there was ever any doubt that David Archuleta is NOT ready for prime time, his performance of cutie patootie Chris Brown’s “With You” was proof. He looked uncomfortable. The dancing was pitiful. It just all seemed so contrived and forced -- like Taylor Hicks trying to sing Bobby Brown. For those of you who have not heard of Chris Brown (and I can’t imagine who you are), this is how that song is supposed to sound.
Randy: I applaud the fact you’re trying something young and hip, but it wasn’t believable. [true dat!]
Paula: …
Simon: It was a little like a Chihuahua trying to be a Tiger, It’s not really you. It was a bit awkward – the dancing. [Translation: You’d never make it on MTV.]
Syesha chose “Fever” by Peggy Lee. OK, my issue now with Syesha is that she’s talking too much. She spent three months barely saying a word and now she’s chatty Cathy. “I wanted to use the cherrrrrr,” she purred. She’s too old for the baby talk. And out of all the songs in all the world, she chooses a song originally written in 1937. Now, she’s been singing Whitney and Mariah all competition long, but tonight she goes old school??? I’m reminded of Katharine McPhee’s writhing- on-the-floor performance of “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.” True –sex sells. But Beyonce’s sexiness sells today, not Eartha Kitt’s.
Randy: interesting choice [translation: what’s with the sexy thang?] but you sang it well
Paula: repeat of Randy, which is basically what she does
Simon: You’ll regret that choice. Instead of showing your contemporary side, you gave a cabaret performance. [too bad]
David chose a song I’d never heard of “Dare You to Move” by a band I’d never heard of, Switchfoot. The only issue I had with this choice is that for the first time, he chose a song that he absolutely did not have to alter to fit his style. This song IS his style.
Randy: wasn’t your best tonight. A little pitchy. [dude!]
Paula: …
Simon: not the best melodic song. All three of you had an OK middle round…
Which brings us to Round Three: producers pick
Lil D was given “Longer” by Dan Folgerberg. This is soooo him, which doesn’t say much. It’s like the Dem primaries – forget the delegate count; who’s the most electable? In this case, who will sell records? Not this guy. Also, was it just me or were the background vocals amazing on this song?? I think the backup singers stole this show.
Randy: you could sing the phone book; another hot one from you
Simon: not going to criticize you; however the song and lyrics were horrible. Something you choose for a 90 year old and you’re 17. [my point exactly …] But you’ve done enough to get into the finals. [unfortunately so]
Syesha sang Gia Farrell’s “Hit Me Up” from the Happy Feet soundtrack. After this breathy performance, I’m not sure Sy Baby is ready for prime time either. If Beyonce can dance full-throttle in heels for three hours while singing live, surely Syesha can sing three songs (not even consecutively) without running out of breath. Come on!
Randy: just OK
Simon: Better than the second song, but [and I’m paraphrasing here] not good enough to make it to the final two.
David Cook sang Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” (from the Armageddon soundtrack) Now, I love, love, love Aerosmith so he could have just mouthed the lyrics and I would have been happy. But he did a good job. All the judges were on target here…
Randy: predictable [true]
Paula: testimony to amazing songwriters like Dianne Warren (who was in the audience). We’ll see you in the finals [true]
Simon: David Cook wins tonight [absolutely]
So who wins next week … I don’t know. I really don’t. America will either vote with their hearts (lil D) or heads (DC). The only thing is –for me—David Cook is not really an amateur. He’s already had a professional singing career –first as lead singer of Axium, voted best band in Kansas City in 2004 (lisa, is that a blog post?) and then as a solo artist. It’s like when the Olympic basketball Dream Team beat up on all those poor countries during 1992 games – just didn’t seem like a fair fight.
Round One -- Judges Pick
OK, so I missed the first 10 minutes of tonight’s show (long story), so someone will have to fill me in on lil D’s performance.
But I came in just as Syesha sang Randy’s pick for her: Alicia Key’s “If I Can’t Have You”. I thought she did a good job –she sounded youthful and contemporary. It was a song everybody knows. Good pick.
Randy: I thought this was a good pick for you; you did an amazing job. That’s why you’re in the top three.
Paula: blah blah blah
Simon: You sang it very well, but I wish Randy had chosen a song that didn’t force you to sound like the original. But you look amazing. [Translation: we can sell the heck out of your body.]
Simon chose Roberta Flack’s “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” for David Cook, who was obviously shocked when the choice was revealed. To Simon’s credit, it is one of those folksy ballads that can be interpreted a number of ways –which is David’s strength.
Johnny Cash put a twang to it
Leona Lewis put some English soul to it
And true to form, David put the DC spin on it.
Randy: I wish Simon hadn’t picked something so predictable and traditional. I want the rocker. [I don’t think Randy was listening. The edge was definitely there.]
Paula: blah blah blah
Simon: one of your best performances. [I disagree –not the best. Let’s not forget “Hello” from 80s night and “Always Be My Baby” from Mariah Carey night.]
Round Two – Contestant’s Pick
OK, if there was ever any doubt that David Archuleta is NOT ready for prime time, his performance of cutie patootie Chris Brown’s “With You” was proof. He looked uncomfortable. The dancing was pitiful. It just all seemed so contrived and forced -- like Taylor Hicks trying to sing Bobby Brown. For those of you who have not heard of Chris Brown (and I can’t imagine who you are), this is how that song is supposed to sound.
Randy: I applaud the fact you’re trying something young and hip, but it wasn’t believable. [true dat!]
Paula: …
Simon: It was a little like a Chihuahua trying to be a Tiger, It’s not really you. It was a bit awkward – the dancing. [Translation: You’d never make it on MTV.]
Syesha chose “Fever” by Peggy Lee. OK, my issue now with Syesha is that she’s talking too much. She spent three months barely saying a word and now she’s chatty Cathy. “I wanted to use the cherrrrrr,” she purred. She’s too old for the baby talk. And out of all the songs in all the world, she chooses a song originally written in 1937. Now, she’s been singing Whitney and Mariah all competition long, but tonight she goes old school??? I’m reminded of Katharine McPhee’s writhing- on-the-floor performance of “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.” True –sex sells. But Beyonce’s sexiness sells today, not Eartha Kitt’s.
Randy: interesting choice [translation: what’s with the sexy thang?] but you sang it well
Paula: repeat of Randy, which is basically what she does
Simon: You’ll regret that choice. Instead of showing your contemporary side, you gave a cabaret performance. [too bad]
David chose a song I’d never heard of “Dare You to Move” by a band I’d never heard of, Switchfoot. The only issue I had with this choice is that for the first time, he chose a song that he absolutely did not have to alter to fit his style. This song IS his style.
Randy: wasn’t your best tonight. A little pitchy. [dude!]
Paula: …
Simon: not the best melodic song. All three of you had an OK middle round…
Which brings us to Round Three: producers pick
Lil D was given “Longer” by Dan Folgerberg. This is soooo him, which doesn’t say much. It’s like the Dem primaries – forget the delegate count; who’s the most electable? In this case, who will sell records? Not this guy. Also, was it just me or were the background vocals amazing on this song?? I think the backup singers stole this show.
Randy: you could sing the phone book; another hot one from you
Simon: not going to criticize you; however the song and lyrics were horrible. Something you choose for a 90 year old and you’re 17. [my point exactly …] But you’ve done enough to get into the finals. [unfortunately so]
Syesha sang Gia Farrell’s “Hit Me Up” from the Happy Feet soundtrack. After this breathy performance, I’m not sure Sy Baby is ready for prime time either. If Beyonce can dance full-throttle in heels for three hours while singing live, surely Syesha can sing three songs (not even consecutively) without running out of breath. Come on!
Randy: just OK
Simon: Better than the second song, but [and I’m paraphrasing here] not good enough to make it to the final two.
David Cook sang Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” (from the Armageddon soundtrack) Now, I love, love, love Aerosmith so he could have just mouthed the lyrics and I would have been happy. But he did a good job. All the judges were on target here…
Randy: predictable [true]
Paula: testimony to amazing songwriters like Dianne Warren (who was in the audience). We’ll see you in the finals [true]
Simon: David Cook wins tonight [absolutely]
So who wins next week … I don’t know. I really don’t. America will either vote with their hearts (lil D) or heads (DC). The only thing is –for me—David Cook is not really an amateur. He’s already had a professional singing career –first as lead singer of Axium, voted best band in Kansas City in 2004 (lisa, is that a blog post?) and then as a solo artist. It’s like when the Olympic basketball Dream Team beat up on all those poor countries during 1992 games – just didn’t seem like a fair fight.
I-dol Loves Rock and Roll
Put another dime in the jukebox baby ... It’s rock n roll night for the final four. Just one question – what do you call all that other stuff they’ve been singing for the past three months?
Round One
So David C. kicked off the show with Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf.” For those of us over the age of 18, hearing him talk about the song being released the same year he was born was a bit depressing. And for me, his performance of it wasn’t much better. It was so basic – so cover band. For those of us who cut our teeth on androgynous English bands – you gotta come better than that to impress us.
Randy: OK choice and solid performance but overall, just OK
Paula: Your Hungry Like the Wolf left me with a big appetite
Simon: a little bit copycat. Didn’t make it your own. But it was good enough to make it through to next week.
Syesha singing “Proud Mary” I just want her to tackle less iconic songs and artists. She’s not THAT good. [And tonight’s performance really proved that point.] Her best performance was when she chose one of Mariah Carey’s more obscure songs and worked it out. Her critics are right – she does come off a bit Obamish “I looked in the mirror and said ‘Syesha, just do it.’” Really? Is that what you said?
Randy: Second week Syesha has shown up and Syesha is in the house
Paula: You look like a star
Simon: Bad, shrieky version; a bad impersonation of Tina Turner
[I have to go with Simon on this one. It really wasn’t very good – and that dress was fugly.]
Jason Castro sang Bob Marley’s “I Shot the Sheriff.” Let me break something down for you Jason -- just because your hair is twisted in nasty turd plaits does not you a rasta make. Get over yourself. And get a freakin haircut. Bob Marley is turning over right now.
Randy: a really karaoke Bob Marley; there was nothing special about it. At this point, you have to prove you deserve to be here.
Paula: I wasn’t crazy about the performance or the song, but you’re so real and so genuine. [Paula, just say it – you suck.]
Simon: utterly atrocious. That’s a song you do not touch …. That was honestly a first-round audition massacre.
[Unfortunately, he’ll be here next week.]
David A. sang Sam Cooke’s “Stand by Me.” OK, This kid annoys the crap out of me, but this tribute to Cooke, one of my favorite crossover artists , was off the chain! I loved his riffs and runs and how he even brought in some new school flavor with that Sean Kingston "Beautiful Girls" reference.
Randy: At least there’s one guy on the stage trying to win. It was hot! [I agree]
Paula: womp womp womp womp womp womp.
Simon: Best performance so far. You could have whistled the last song and it would have sounded better than the last song. [Ouch!]
Round Two
I have to give David C. credit for choosing a song that not too many people know --“Teenage Wasteland” by The Who. Unlike dumb and dumber (Syesha and Jason) who chose songs that few people had NOT heard, David let the audience judge his performance rather than his performance of that particular song. The judges were pleased.
Randy: Be you cause you were great.
Paula: I want more. [Yeah, I bet you do Paula]
Simon: Welcome back David Cook.
Syesha. I give up. First of all, this girl is comparing her run on American Idol with the Civil Rights Movement. Pu-leeeeese! And THEN she has the audacity to sing one of the most moving, the most pivotal, the most significant songs of this century – Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come.” You can’t even hear the intro to that song without getting teary-eyed. It is NOT an American Idol song. And THEN she butchered the ending. That was just sacrilege.
Randy: The first song I loved. This one –not as much. Didn’t like the arrangement or the vocals. Sam Cooke is the greatest singer in life – you didn’t need to change it.
Paula: For me, you turned this into a superstar performance.
Simon: Agreed with Paula. Randy got it wrong. I thought you sang it really, really well.
[What?! I am in disbelief.
Syesha…. Shut up! So she’s crying and talking about how important this is to her, and then she feels the need to educate America on the Civil Rights Movement because you know, she “researched” it before her performance. She’s my new least favorite.]
Jason, Jason, Jason. Finally, you choose a song and an artist that embodies your weirdness, I mean style, and you forget the lyrics!!!! I'm gonna tell Wayne Brady.
Randy: How do you think that was? [It’s never a good sign when the judges ask you how you think you did.]
Paula: It didn’t blow me away, but you blow me away.
Simon: Pack your suitcase.
[He’ll be here next week. I mean, this kid should have BEEN gone, but the Jo-Bro (that’s Jonas Brothers for all you non-parents) crowd thinks he’s sooooo cute and keeps blowing up the voting hotline.]
David does Elvis [sounds like a George Michael-inspired B-movie]
Again, I say … this kid is a radio star [can you see him in a video on MTV? Or guest-starring on The Hills?] But man, can this little guy blow!
Randy: Hot vocals of the night.
Paula: One of my favorite performances from you.
Simon: You didn’t beat the competition; you crushed the competition. [again … ouch!]
Personally, I wish we could vote Jason AND Syesha off and skip next week. This thing has dragged on like the Democratic primaries. Enough already! Let the Davids face-off – if we must (we know David A is going to win, and David C. will continue his career – did you know he already has an album? – only with a sweeter contract) but let’s get it over with. And this year’s finale better be good. No guest appearances by anyone over the age of 60 and/or a member of the Beatles. :)
Round One
So David C. kicked off the show with Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf.” For those of us over the age of 18, hearing him talk about the song being released the same year he was born was a bit depressing. And for me, his performance of it wasn’t much better. It was so basic – so cover band. For those of us who cut our teeth on androgynous English bands – you gotta come better than that to impress us.
Randy: OK choice and solid performance but overall, just OK
Paula: Your Hungry Like the Wolf left me with a big appetite
Simon: a little bit copycat. Didn’t make it your own. But it was good enough to make it through to next week.
Syesha singing “Proud Mary” I just want her to tackle less iconic songs and artists. She’s not THAT good. [And tonight’s performance really proved that point.] Her best performance was when she chose one of Mariah Carey’s more obscure songs and worked it out. Her critics are right – she does come off a bit Obamish “I looked in the mirror and said ‘Syesha, just do it.’” Really? Is that what you said?
Randy: Second week Syesha has shown up and Syesha is in the house
Paula: You look like a star
Simon: Bad, shrieky version; a bad impersonation of Tina Turner
[I have to go with Simon on this one. It really wasn’t very good – and that dress was fugly.]
Jason Castro sang Bob Marley’s “I Shot the Sheriff.” Let me break something down for you Jason -- just because your hair is twisted in nasty turd plaits does not you a rasta make. Get over yourself. And get a freakin haircut. Bob Marley is turning over right now.
Randy: a really karaoke Bob Marley; there was nothing special about it. At this point, you have to prove you deserve to be here.
Paula: I wasn’t crazy about the performance or the song, but you’re so real and so genuine. [Paula, just say it – you suck.]
Simon: utterly atrocious. That’s a song you do not touch …. That was honestly a first-round audition massacre.
[Unfortunately, he’ll be here next week.]
David A. sang Sam Cooke’s “Stand by Me.” OK, This kid annoys the crap out of me, but this tribute to Cooke, one of my favorite crossover artists , was off the chain! I loved his riffs and runs and how he even brought in some new school flavor with that Sean Kingston "Beautiful Girls" reference.
Randy: At least there’s one guy on the stage trying to win. It was hot! [I agree]
Paula: womp womp womp womp womp womp.
Simon: Best performance so far. You could have whistled the last song and it would have sounded better than the last song. [Ouch!]
Round Two
I have to give David C. credit for choosing a song that not too many people know --“Teenage Wasteland” by The Who. Unlike dumb and dumber (Syesha and Jason) who chose songs that few people had NOT heard, David let the audience judge his performance rather than his performance of that particular song. The judges were pleased.
Randy: Be you cause you were great.
Paula: I want more. [Yeah, I bet you do Paula]
Simon: Welcome back David Cook.
Syesha. I give up. First of all, this girl is comparing her run on American Idol with the Civil Rights Movement. Pu-leeeeese! And THEN she has the audacity to sing one of the most moving, the most pivotal, the most significant songs of this century – Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come.” You can’t even hear the intro to that song without getting teary-eyed. It is NOT an American Idol song. And THEN she butchered the ending. That was just sacrilege.
Randy: The first song I loved. This one –not as much. Didn’t like the arrangement or the vocals. Sam Cooke is the greatest singer in life – you didn’t need to change it.
Paula: For me, you turned this into a superstar performance.
Simon: Agreed with Paula. Randy got it wrong. I thought you sang it really, really well.
[What?! I am in disbelief.
Syesha…. Shut up! So she’s crying and talking about how important this is to her, and then she feels the need to educate America on the Civil Rights Movement because you know, she “researched” it before her performance. She’s my new least favorite.]
Jason, Jason, Jason. Finally, you choose a song and an artist that embodies your weirdness, I mean style, and you forget the lyrics!!!! I'm gonna tell Wayne Brady.
Randy: How do you think that was? [It’s never a good sign when the judges ask you how you think you did.]
Paula: It didn’t blow me away, but you blow me away.
Simon: Pack your suitcase.
[He’ll be here next week. I mean, this kid should have BEEN gone, but the Jo-Bro (that’s Jonas Brothers for all you non-parents) crowd thinks he’s sooooo cute and keeps blowing up the voting hotline.]
David does Elvis [sounds like a George Michael-inspired B-movie]
Again, I say … this kid is a radio star [can you see him in a video on MTV? Or guest-starring on The Hills?] But man, can this little guy blow!
Randy: Hot vocals of the night.
Paula: One of my favorite performances from you.
Simon: You didn’t beat the competition; you crushed the competition. [again … ouch!]
Personally, I wish we could vote Jason AND Syesha off and skip next week. This thing has dragged on like the Democratic primaries. Enough already! Let the Davids face-off – if we must (we know David A is going to win, and David C. will continue his career – did you know he already has an album? – only with a sweeter contract) but let’s get it over with. And this year’s finale better be good. No guest appearances by anyone over the age of 60 and/or a member of the Beatles. :)
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