Put another dime in the jukebox baby ... It’s rock n roll night for the final four. Just one question – what do you call all that other stuff they’ve been singing for the past three months?
Round One
So David C. kicked off the show with Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf.” For those of us over the age of 18, hearing him talk about the song being released the same year he was born was a bit depressing. And for me, his performance of it wasn’t much better. It was so basic – so cover band. For those of us who cut our teeth on androgynous English bands – you gotta come better than that to impress us.
Randy: OK choice and solid performance but overall, just OK
Paula: Your Hungry Like the Wolf left me with a big appetite
Simon: a little bit copycat. Didn’t make it your own. But it was good enough to make it through to next week.
Syesha singing “Proud Mary” I just want her to tackle less iconic songs and artists. She’s not THAT good. [And tonight’s performance really proved that point.] Her best performance was when she chose one of Mariah Carey’s more obscure songs and worked it out. Her critics are right – she does come off a bit Obamish “I looked in the mirror and said ‘Syesha, just do it.’” Really? Is that what you said?
Randy: Second week Syesha has shown up and Syesha is in the house
Paula: You look like a star
Simon: Bad, shrieky version; a bad impersonation of Tina Turner
[I have to go with Simon on this one. It really wasn’t very good – and that dress was fugly.]
Jason Castro sang Bob Marley’s “I Shot the Sheriff.” Let me break something down for you Jason -- just because your hair is twisted in nasty turd plaits does not you a rasta make. Get over yourself. And get a freakin haircut. Bob Marley is turning over right now.
Randy: a really karaoke Bob Marley; there was nothing special about it. At this point, you have to prove you deserve to be here.
Paula: I wasn’t crazy about the performance or the song, but you’re so real and so genuine. [Paula, just say it – you suck.]
Simon: utterly atrocious. That’s a song you do not touch …. That was honestly a first-round audition massacre.
[Unfortunately, he’ll be here next week.]
David A. sang Sam Cooke’s “Stand by Me.” OK, This kid annoys the crap out of me, but this tribute to Cooke, one of my favorite crossover artists , was off the chain! I loved his riffs and runs and how he even brought in some new school flavor with that Sean Kingston "Beautiful Girls" reference.
Randy: At least there’s one guy on the stage trying to win. It was hot! [I agree]
Paula: womp womp womp womp womp womp.
Simon: Best performance so far. You could have whistled the last song and it would have sounded better than the last song. [Ouch!]
Round Two
I have to give David C. credit for choosing a song that not too many people know --“Teenage Wasteland” by The Who. Unlike dumb and dumber (Syesha and Jason) who chose songs that few people had NOT heard, David let the audience judge his performance rather than his performance of that particular song. The judges were pleased.
Randy: Be you cause you were great.
Paula: I want more. [Yeah, I bet you do Paula]
Simon: Welcome back David Cook.
Syesha. I give up. First of all, this girl is comparing her run on American Idol with the Civil Rights Movement. Pu-leeeeese! And THEN she has the audacity to sing one of the most moving, the most pivotal, the most significant songs of this century – Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come.” You can’t even hear the intro to that song without getting teary-eyed. It is NOT an American Idol song. And THEN she butchered the ending. That was just sacrilege.
Randy: The first song I loved. This one –not as much. Didn’t like the arrangement or the vocals. Sam Cooke is the greatest singer in life – you didn’t need to change it.
Paula: For me, you turned this into a superstar performance.
Simon: Agreed with Paula. Randy got it wrong. I thought you sang it really, really well.
[What?! I am in disbelief.
Syesha…. Shut up! So she’s crying and talking about how important this is to her, and then she feels the need to educate America on the Civil Rights Movement because you know, she “researched” it before her performance. She’s my new least favorite.]
Jason, Jason, Jason. Finally, you choose a song and an artist that embodies your weirdness, I mean style, and you forget the lyrics!!!! I'm gonna tell Wayne Brady.
Randy: How do you think that was? [It’s never a good sign when the judges ask you how you think you did.]
Paula: It didn’t blow me away, but you blow me away.
Simon: Pack your suitcase.
[He’ll be here next week. I mean, this kid should have BEEN gone, but the Jo-Bro (that’s Jonas Brothers for all you non-parents) crowd thinks he’s sooooo cute and keeps blowing up the voting hotline.]
David does Elvis [sounds like a George Michael-inspired B-movie]
Again, I say … this kid is a radio star [can you see him in a video on MTV? Or guest-starring on The Hills?] But man, can this little guy blow!
Randy: Hot vocals of the night.
Paula: One of my favorite performances from you.
Simon: You didn’t beat the competition; you crushed the competition. [again … ouch!]
Personally, I wish we could vote Jason AND Syesha off and skip next week. This thing has dragged on like the Democratic primaries. Enough already! Let the Davids face-off – if we must (we know David A is going to win, and David C. will continue his career – did you know he already has an album? – only with a sweeter contract) but let’s get it over with. And this year’s finale better be good. No guest appearances by anyone over the age of 60 and/or a member of the Beatles. :)
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