Wow. That ensemble song was … wow. There are no words. So, why was Syesha the only female contestant wearing go-go shorts? That whole thing was just weird.
But the David duet – that was hot. They were standing in their truth. Seriously, they sound really good together….too bad they can’t both win. Or cannnn they? Boy, wouldn’t that be a surprise ending. Fox doesn’t have the balls, though. The CW would do it.
What about Paramount’s shameless plug of The Love Guru? I think it made me want to see the movie less.
OK, it’s 18 minutes into the show and I don’t see the stars…. Where are the stars???
Now Seal is a delicious piece of eye candy – don’t get me wrong—but his duet with Syesha of “Waiting for You”…. I don’t know dog, I just wasn’t feeling it. It was OK. It was all right but it wasn’t great. But could Seal’s white pants have been any tighter?
So Jason Castro doesn’t get a duet? And what about that back-handed introduction by Ryan …
OK, I know this is not the Super Bowl or even close to it, but you’d think with the potential viewership of multi millions, the commercials would be a little more entertaining. They’re not.
OMG – why are they doing this to Donna Summer’s song. They look like they’re in a really bad high school musical. I love to love Donna Summer – I’m glad she’s still got a career, but I don’t know about this new song – I wish she’s sing some of her old stuff … OK, the music gods have answered. “Last Dance” – that is my jam. Boy, Syesha’s getting a lot of air time – hmmm. And looking especially Beyonce-ish, first with the bootie shorts and then with the low-cut, tight red dress. Hey Sy- I hear these girls Kelly and Michelle are looking for a third.
The best thing about the finale show and dragging out all the losers (literally, not figuratively) is because it reassures voters that they made the right decision.
Chickezie didn’t show up until 46 minutes into the show. What do you think that means?
Bryan Adams. Bryan Adams. Bryan Adams. If you say his name three times while looking in the mirror, he’ll appear. Kinda like the Candy Man, only much scarier.
ZZ Top is performing. I’m turning the channel. Somebody tell me if Lil D was able to pull off a look of surprise when his name is announced.
That’s it for Idol 2008.
Let's Get Ready to Rumble?
The only thing that would have made this boxing-homage more ridiculous is a guest appearance by the original K.I.N.G. - Don, that is.
So (and I apologize for playing into this theme) for Round One, the songs were chosen by none other than the career-maker himself, Clive Davis.
Note to Clive: How’s that Whitney comeback going?
David Cook sang U2’s “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” This is one of those songs that takes you back to Jordache jeans, Baby Jessica and Fatal Attraction. You can almost follow along with your own mini timeline.
But DC’s version needed its own subtitles --- I couldn't understand a word he was saying!
Young Cook, rocker he is. Bono, he is not.
Randy: copy cat. copy cat. Yo mama is a dirty rat. [were me and my friends the only ones who said that?] So now "Randy" is calling David Cook "DC."
Paula: We found David Cook. Whewwwww!
Simon: You looked very tense and very emotional but taking all that, I thought it was phenomenal.
Lil’ D: [silently praying: Don’t mess this up. Don’t mess this up.] This is one of my all time favorite songs – especially the cover duet by Elton John and my white baby daddy George Michael. And at times, the ambitious Archuleta seemed like he was singing a duet – by himself. Way to sing both parts Lil D. Is it possible? Could the baby-faced balladeer be channeling his inner Georgelton?
Randy: That was flawless and unbelievably molten hot. Crazy! [Repeat about 7 times]
Paula: I’ve got chills.
Simon: It’s very easy to get over excited tonight. I thought last week was OK. I thought tonight’s performance was arguably the best you’ve done so far. Taking everything into account, round one goes to Archuleta.
Round Two: America’s Choice. The guys sing songs submitted by songwriters from around the country. The top 10 were presented and the Davids could choose their favorite to sing.
David Cook sang a song called “Dream Big.” This is by far the most important song selection because these are unknown songs, and these guys can truly (as they say in the biz) make them their own. If I closed my eyes, I would have thought I was listening to an awards show performance or a video on VH1or a cosmetics commercial or one of those cheesy teasers for The Hills. My point is that this song was believable. It was hip and current. I could not have disagreed more with the judges. Does the “winning song” have to be dripping with sweetness and sap to be considered finale worthy?
Randy: not the best song, but your vocals were great
Simon: lightweight. This is supposed to be a winning song and that didn’t sound like a winner.
Paula [my favorite comment of the night]: But it wasn’t the winning song. Was it?
Lil D sang “In This Moment” which this lowly viewer thought was better suited for the ‘songs from the Olympics’ compilation CD than the American Idol finale.
Randy: song sucked but I still have a man crush on you and you can do no wrong [I’m paraphrasing]
Simon: You chose the better song. [I disagree] Round Two goes to Lil D.
I guess my answer to the sugar and sap question is a resounding yes. That song was so syrupy, it made my teeth hurt.
Round Three: contestants’ choice
Cookie (since Randy took my nickname) chose Collective Soul’s “The World I Know.” By default, he’s my favorite, but I have to offer this bit of criticism. Dave – this could be the very last song you sing for America (besides the shameless Idol tour you’ll be forced to participate in); I wanted to see you push yourself. Step outside your rockbox. Your most memorable performances were the ones where you put the DC spin on a non-rock classic. There was nothing to “spin” here. It was like Hillary’s win in West Virginia – nothing unexpected happened.
Randy: That was a very nice sensitive side
Paula: I know my anonymous readers want me to include her comments, but dude – she’s a Vicodin away from being a vegetable.
Simon: You are one of the nicest, most sincere contestants we’ve had. This was completely the wrong song choice; you should have sung “Billie Jean” (Michael Jackson) or “Hello” (Lionel Richie). [Exactly Simon! Exactly!]
But how about Cookie’s dig at Lil D – somebody’s been watching CNN J “Tonight isn’t about the past, so why do something I’ve already done.” SLAAAAM. In yo face Utah boy.
OK, we all know Utah boy is going to win by a TKO, but Cookie got in a good right hook.
So Lil D chose “Imagine.” Yes, when this little boy sings this song, it makes grown women start looking up the “age of consent” for their home state… But he could’ve given us something else. I would’ve loved to have heard him sing something more contemporary – not Chris Brown, but maybe John Mayer or some blue-eyed soul like Robin Thicke. Or John Legend.
Randy: You are exactly what this show is about. I think Randy is looking up the age…. Just kidding. Just kidding!
Paula: You were stunning tonight.
Simon: At the end of the day, this show is about finding a star, and tonight this is the best finals we’ve had. You came out here to win, but what we’ve witnessed is a knock out. [what I tell ya?]
The most satisfying part of the show was seeing Ruben Studdard get about 15 more minutes of fame. They owe him that.
So (and I apologize for playing into this theme) for Round One, the songs were chosen by none other than the career-maker himself, Clive Davis.
Note to Clive: How’s that Whitney comeback going?
David Cook sang U2’s “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” This is one of those songs that takes you back to Jordache jeans, Baby Jessica and Fatal Attraction. You can almost follow along with your own mini timeline.
But DC’s version needed its own subtitles --- I couldn't understand a word he was saying!
Young Cook, rocker he is. Bono, he is not.
Randy: copy cat. copy cat. Yo mama is a dirty rat. [were me and my friends the only ones who said that?] So now "Randy" is calling David Cook "DC."
Paula: We found David Cook. Whewwwww!
Simon: You looked very tense and very emotional but taking all that, I thought it was phenomenal.
Lil’ D: [silently praying: Don’t mess this up. Don’t mess this up.] This is one of my all time favorite songs – especially the cover duet by Elton John and my white baby daddy George Michael. And at times, the ambitious Archuleta seemed like he was singing a duet – by himself. Way to sing both parts Lil D. Is it possible? Could the baby-faced balladeer be channeling his inner Georgelton?
Randy: That was flawless and unbelievably molten hot. Crazy! [Repeat about 7 times]
Paula: I’ve got chills.
Simon: It’s very easy to get over excited tonight. I thought last week was OK. I thought tonight’s performance was arguably the best you’ve done so far. Taking everything into account, round one goes to Archuleta.
Round Two: America’s Choice. The guys sing songs submitted by songwriters from around the country. The top 10 were presented and the Davids could choose their favorite to sing.
David Cook sang a song called “Dream Big.” This is by far the most important song selection because these are unknown songs, and these guys can truly (as they say in the biz) make them their own. If I closed my eyes, I would have thought I was listening to an awards show performance or a video on VH1or a cosmetics commercial or one of those cheesy teasers for The Hills. My point is that this song was believable. It was hip and current. I could not have disagreed more with the judges. Does the “winning song” have to be dripping with sweetness and sap to be considered finale worthy?
Randy: not the best song, but your vocals were great
Simon: lightweight. This is supposed to be a winning song and that didn’t sound like a winner.
Paula [my favorite comment of the night]: But it wasn’t the winning song. Was it?
Lil D sang “In This Moment” which this lowly viewer thought was better suited for the ‘songs from the Olympics’ compilation CD than the American Idol finale.
Randy: song sucked but I still have a man crush on you and you can do no wrong [I’m paraphrasing]
Simon: You chose the better song. [I disagree] Round Two goes to Lil D.
I guess my answer to the sugar and sap question is a resounding yes. That song was so syrupy, it made my teeth hurt.
Round Three: contestants’ choice
Cookie (since Randy took my nickname) chose Collective Soul’s “The World I Know.” By default, he’s my favorite, but I have to offer this bit of criticism. Dave – this could be the very last song you sing for America (besides the shameless Idol tour you’ll be forced to participate in); I wanted to see you push yourself. Step outside your rockbox. Your most memorable performances were the ones where you put the DC spin on a non-rock classic. There was nothing to “spin” here. It was like Hillary’s win in West Virginia – nothing unexpected happened.
Randy: That was a very nice sensitive side
Paula: I know my anonymous readers want me to include her comments, but dude – she’s a Vicodin away from being a vegetable.
Simon: You are one of the nicest, most sincere contestants we’ve had. This was completely the wrong song choice; you should have sung “Billie Jean” (Michael Jackson) or “Hello” (Lionel Richie). [Exactly Simon! Exactly!]
But how about Cookie’s dig at Lil D – somebody’s been watching CNN J “Tonight isn’t about the past, so why do something I’ve already done.” SLAAAAM. In yo face Utah boy.
OK, we all know Utah boy is going to win by a TKO, but Cookie got in a good right hook.
So Lil D chose “Imagine.” Yes, when this little boy sings this song, it makes grown women start looking up the “age of consent” for their home state… But he could’ve given us something else. I would’ve loved to have heard him sing something more contemporary – not Chris Brown, but maybe John Mayer or some blue-eyed soul like Robin Thicke. Or John Legend.
Randy: You are exactly what this show is about. I think Randy is looking up the age…. Just kidding. Just kidding!
Paula: You were stunning tonight.
Simon: At the end of the day, this show is about finding a star, and tonight this is the best finals we’ve had. You came out here to win, but what we’ve witnessed is a knock out. [what I tell ya?]
The most satisfying part of the show was seeing Ruben Studdard get about 15 more minutes of fame. They owe him that.
Winding Down
Two more nights to go, and I’m having withdrawals already. Tonight, the hopefuls sang three songs each: one song chosen by a judge; one song selected by the contestant and the last song chosen by the producers.
Round One -- Judges Pick
OK, so I missed the first 10 minutes of tonight’s show (long story), so someone will have to fill me in on lil D’s performance.
But I came in just as Syesha sang Randy’s pick for her: Alicia Key’s “If I Can’t Have You”. I thought she did a good job –she sounded youthful and contemporary. It was a song everybody knows. Good pick.
Randy: I thought this was a good pick for you; you did an amazing job. That’s why you’re in the top three.
Paula: blah blah blah
Simon: You sang it very well, but I wish Randy had chosen a song that didn’t force you to sound like the original. But you look amazing. [Translation: we can sell the heck out of your body.]
Simon chose Roberta Flack’s “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” for David Cook, who was obviously shocked when the choice was revealed. To Simon’s credit, it is one of those folksy ballads that can be interpreted a number of ways –which is David’s strength.
Johnny Cash put a twang to it
Leona Lewis put some English soul to it
And true to form, David put the DC spin on it.
Randy: I wish Simon hadn’t picked something so predictable and traditional. I want the rocker. [I don’t think Randy was listening. The edge was definitely there.]
Paula: blah blah blah
Simon: one of your best performances. [I disagree –not the best. Let’s not forget “Hello” from 80s night and “Always Be My Baby” from Mariah Carey night.]
Round Two – Contestant’s Pick
OK, if there was ever any doubt that David Archuleta is NOT ready for prime time, his performance of cutie patootie Chris Brown’s “With You” was proof. He looked uncomfortable. The dancing was pitiful. It just all seemed so contrived and forced -- like Taylor Hicks trying to sing Bobby Brown. For those of you who have not heard of Chris Brown (and I can’t imagine who you are), this is how that song is supposed to sound.
Randy: I applaud the fact you’re trying something young and hip, but it wasn’t believable. [true dat!]
Paula: …
Simon: It was a little like a Chihuahua trying to be a Tiger, It’s not really you. It was a bit awkward – the dancing. [Translation: You’d never make it on MTV.]
Syesha chose “Fever” by Peggy Lee. OK, my issue now with Syesha is that she’s talking too much. She spent three months barely saying a word and now she’s chatty Cathy. “I wanted to use the cherrrrrr,” she purred. She’s too old for the baby talk. And out of all the songs in all the world, she chooses a song originally written in 1937. Now, she’s been singing Whitney and Mariah all competition long, but tonight she goes old school??? I’m reminded of Katharine McPhee’s writhing- on-the-floor performance of “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.” True –sex sells. But Beyonce’s sexiness sells today, not Eartha Kitt’s.
Randy: interesting choice [translation: what’s with the sexy thang?] but you sang it well
Paula: repeat of Randy, which is basically what she does
Simon: You’ll regret that choice. Instead of showing your contemporary side, you gave a cabaret performance. [too bad]
David chose a song I’d never heard of “Dare You to Move” by a band I’d never heard of, Switchfoot. The only issue I had with this choice is that for the first time, he chose a song that he absolutely did not have to alter to fit his style. This song IS his style.
Randy: wasn’t your best tonight. A little pitchy. [dude!]
Paula: …
Simon: not the best melodic song. All three of you had an OK middle round…
Which brings us to Round Three: producers pick
Lil D was given “Longer” by Dan Folgerberg. This is soooo him, which doesn’t say much. It’s like the Dem primaries – forget the delegate count; who’s the most electable? In this case, who will sell records? Not this guy. Also, was it just me or were the background vocals amazing on this song?? I think the backup singers stole this show.
Randy: you could sing the phone book; another hot one from you
Simon: not going to criticize you; however the song and lyrics were horrible. Something you choose for a 90 year old and you’re 17. [my point exactly …] But you’ve done enough to get into the finals. [unfortunately so]
Syesha sang Gia Farrell’s “Hit Me Up” from the Happy Feet soundtrack. After this breathy performance, I’m not sure Sy Baby is ready for prime time either. If Beyonce can dance full-throttle in heels for three hours while singing live, surely Syesha can sing three songs (not even consecutively) without running out of breath. Come on!
Randy: just OK
Simon: Better than the second song, but [and I’m paraphrasing here] not good enough to make it to the final two.
David Cook sang Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” (from the Armageddon soundtrack) Now, I love, love, love Aerosmith so he could have just mouthed the lyrics and I would have been happy. But he did a good job. All the judges were on target here…
Randy: predictable [true]
Paula: testimony to amazing songwriters like Dianne Warren (who was in the audience). We’ll see you in the finals [true]
Simon: David Cook wins tonight [absolutely]
So who wins next week … I don’t know. I really don’t. America will either vote with their hearts (lil D) or heads (DC). The only thing is –for me—David Cook is not really an amateur. He’s already had a professional singing career –first as lead singer of Axium, voted best band in Kansas City in 2004 (lisa, is that a blog post?) and then as a solo artist. It’s like when the Olympic basketball Dream Team beat up on all those poor countries during 1992 games – just didn’t seem like a fair fight.
Round One -- Judges Pick
OK, so I missed the first 10 minutes of tonight’s show (long story), so someone will have to fill me in on lil D’s performance.
But I came in just as Syesha sang Randy’s pick for her: Alicia Key’s “If I Can’t Have You”. I thought she did a good job –she sounded youthful and contemporary. It was a song everybody knows. Good pick.
Randy: I thought this was a good pick for you; you did an amazing job. That’s why you’re in the top three.
Paula: blah blah blah
Simon: You sang it very well, but I wish Randy had chosen a song that didn’t force you to sound like the original. But you look amazing. [Translation: we can sell the heck out of your body.]
Simon chose Roberta Flack’s “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” for David Cook, who was obviously shocked when the choice was revealed. To Simon’s credit, it is one of those folksy ballads that can be interpreted a number of ways –which is David’s strength.
Johnny Cash put a twang to it
Leona Lewis put some English soul to it
And true to form, David put the DC spin on it.
Randy: I wish Simon hadn’t picked something so predictable and traditional. I want the rocker. [I don’t think Randy was listening. The edge was definitely there.]
Paula: blah blah blah
Simon: one of your best performances. [I disagree –not the best. Let’s not forget “Hello” from 80s night and “Always Be My Baby” from Mariah Carey night.]
Round Two – Contestant’s Pick
OK, if there was ever any doubt that David Archuleta is NOT ready for prime time, his performance of cutie patootie Chris Brown’s “With You” was proof. He looked uncomfortable. The dancing was pitiful. It just all seemed so contrived and forced -- like Taylor Hicks trying to sing Bobby Brown. For those of you who have not heard of Chris Brown (and I can’t imagine who you are), this is how that song is supposed to sound.
Randy: I applaud the fact you’re trying something young and hip, but it wasn’t believable. [true dat!]
Paula: …
Simon: It was a little like a Chihuahua trying to be a Tiger, It’s not really you. It was a bit awkward – the dancing. [Translation: You’d never make it on MTV.]
Syesha chose “Fever” by Peggy Lee. OK, my issue now with Syesha is that she’s talking too much. She spent three months barely saying a word and now she’s chatty Cathy. “I wanted to use the cherrrrrr,” she purred. She’s too old for the baby talk. And out of all the songs in all the world, she chooses a song originally written in 1937. Now, she’s been singing Whitney and Mariah all competition long, but tonight she goes old school??? I’m reminded of Katharine McPhee’s writhing- on-the-floor performance of “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.” True –sex sells. But Beyonce’s sexiness sells today, not Eartha Kitt’s.
Randy: interesting choice [translation: what’s with the sexy thang?] but you sang it well
Paula: repeat of Randy, which is basically what she does
Simon: You’ll regret that choice. Instead of showing your contemporary side, you gave a cabaret performance. [too bad]
David chose a song I’d never heard of “Dare You to Move” by a band I’d never heard of, Switchfoot. The only issue I had with this choice is that for the first time, he chose a song that he absolutely did not have to alter to fit his style. This song IS his style.
Randy: wasn’t your best tonight. A little pitchy. [dude!]
Paula: …
Simon: not the best melodic song. All three of you had an OK middle round…
Which brings us to Round Three: producers pick
Lil D was given “Longer” by Dan Folgerberg. This is soooo him, which doesn’t say much. It’s like the Dem primaries – forget the delegate count; who’s the most electable? In this case, who will sell records? Not this guy. Also, was it just me or were the background vocals amazing on this song?? I think the backup singers stole this show.
Randy: you could sing the phone book; another hot one from you
Simon: not going to criticize you; however the song and lyrics were horrible. Something you choose for a 90 year old and you’re 17. [my point exactly …] But you’ve done enough to get into the finals. [unfortunately so]
Syesha sang Gia Farrell’s “Hit Me Up” from the Happy Feet soundtrack. After this breathy performance, I’m not sure Sy Baby is ready for prime time either. If Beyonce can dance full-throttle in heels for three hours while singing live, surely Syesha can sing three songs (not even consecutively) without running out of breath. Come on!
Randy: just OK
Simon: Better than the second song, but [and I’m paraphrasing here] not good enough to make it to the final two.
David Cook sang Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” (from the Armageddon soundtrack) Now, I love, love, love Aerosmith so he could have just mouthed the lyrics and I would have been happy. But he did a good job. All the judges were on target here…
Randy: predictable [true]
Paula: testimony to amazing songwriters like Dianne Warren (who was in the audience). We’ll see you in the finals [true]
Simon: David Cook wins tonight [absolutely]
So who wins next week … I don’t know. I really don’t. America will either vote with their hearts (lil D) or heads (DC). The only thing is –for me—David Cook is not really an amateur. He’s already had a professional singing career –first as lead singer of Axium, voted best band in Kansas City in 2004 (lisa, is that a blog post?) and then as a solo artist. It’s like when the Olympic basketball Dream Team beat up on all those poor countries during 1992 games – just didn’t seem like a fair fight.
I-dol Loves Rock and Roll
Put another dime in the jukebox baby ... It’s rock n roll night for the final four. Just one question – what do you call all that other stuff they’ve been singing for the past three months?
Round One
So David C. kicked off the show with Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf.” For those of us over the age of 18, hearing him talk about the song being released the same year he was born was a bit depressing. And for me, his performance of it wasn’t much better. It was so basic – so cover band. For those of us who cut our teeth on androgynous English bands – you gotta come better than that to impress us.
Randy: OK choice and solid performance but overall, just OK
Paula: Your Hungry Like the Wolf left me with a big appetite
Simon: a little bit copycat. Didn’t make it your own. But it was good enough to make it through to next week.
Syesha singing “Proud Mary” I just want her to tackle less iconic songs and artists. She’s not THAT good. [And tonight’s performance really proved that point.] Her best performance was when she chose one of Mariah Carey’s more obscure songs and worked it out. Her critics are right – she does come off a bit Obamish “I looked in the mirror and said ‘Syesha, just do it.’” Really? Is that what you said?
Randy: Second week Syesha has shown up and Syesha is in the house
Paula: You look like a star
Simon: Bad, shrieky version; a bad impersonation of Tina Turner
[I have to go with Simon on this one. It really wasn’t very good – and that dress was fugly.]
Jason Castro sang Bob Marley’s “I Shot the Sheriff.” Let me break something down for you Jason -- just because your hair is twisted in nasty turd plaits does not you a rasta make. Get over yourself. And get a freakin haircut. Bob Marley is turning over right now.
Randy: a really karaoke Bob Marley; there was nothing special about it. At this point, you have to prove you deserve to be here.
Paula: I wasn’t crazy about the performance or the song, but you’re so real and so genuine. [Paula, just say it – you suck.]
Simon: utterly atrocious. That’s a song you do not touch …. That was honestly a first-round audition massacre.
[Unfortunately, he’ll be here next week.]
David A. sang Sam Cooke’s “Stand by Me.” OK, This kid annoys the crap out of me, but this tribute to Cooke, one of my favorite crossover artists , was off the chain! I loved his riffs and runs and how he even brought in some new school flavor with that Sean Kingston "Beautiful Girls" reference.
Randy: At least there’s one guy on the stage trying to win. It was hot! [I agree]
Paula: womp womp womp womp womp womp.
Simon: Best performance so far. You could have whistled the last song and it would have sounded better than the last song. [Ouch!]
Round Two
I have to give David C. credit for choosing a song that not too many people know --“Teenage Wasteland” by The Who. Unlike dumb and dumber (Syesha and Jason) who chose songs that few people had NOT heard, David let the audience judge his performance rather than his performance of that particular song. The judges were pleased.
Randy: Be you cause you were great.
Paula: I want more. [Yeah, I bet you do Paula]
Simon: Welcome back David Cook.
Syesha. I give up. First of all, this girl is comparing her run on American Idol with the Civil Rights Movement. Pu-leeeeese! And THEN she has the audacity to sing one of the most moving, the most pivotal, the most significant songs of this century – Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come.” You can’t even hear the intro to that song without getting teary-eyed. It is NOT an American Idol song. And THEN she butchered the ending. That was just sacrilege.
Randy: The first song I loved. This one –not as much. Didn’t like the arrangement or the vocals. Sam Cooke is the greatest singer in life – you didn’t need to change it.
Paula: For me, you turned this into a superstar performance.
Simon: Agreed with Paula. Randy got it wrong. I thought you sang it really, really well.
[What?! I am in disbelief.
Syesha…. Shut up! So she’s crying and talking about how important this is to her, and then she feels the need to educate America on the Civil Rights Movement because you know, she “researched” it before her performance. She’s my new least favorite.]
Jason, Jason, Jason. Finally, you choose a song and an artist that embodies your weirdness, I mean style, and you forget the lyrics!!!! I'm gonna tell Wayne Brady.
Randy: How do you think that was? [It’s never a good sign when the judges ask you how you think you did.]
Paula: It didn’t blow me away, but you blow me away.
Simon: Pack your suitcase.
[He’ll be here next week. I mean, this kid should have BEEN gone, but the Jo-Bro (that’s Jonas Brothers for all you non-parents) crowd thinks he’s sooooo cute and keeps blowing up the voting hotline.]
David does Elvis [sounds like a George Michael-inspired B-movie]
Again, I say … this kid is a radio star [can you see him in a video on MTV? Or guest-starring on The Hills?] But man, can this little guy blow!
Randy: Hot vocals of the night.
Paula: One of my favorite performances from you.
Simon: You didn’t beat the competition; you crushed the competition. [again … ouch!]
Personally, I wish we could vote Jason AND Syesha off and skip next week. This thing has dragged on like the Democratic primaries. Enough already! Let the Davids face-off – if we must (we know David A is going to win, and David C. will continue his career – did you know he already has an album? – only with a sweeter contract) but let’s get it over with. And this year’s finale better be good. No guest appearances by anyone over the age of 60 and/or a member of the Beatles. :)
Round One
So David C. kicked off the show with Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf.” For those of us over the age of 18, hearing him talk about the song being released the same year he was born was a bit depressing. And for me, his performance of it wasn’t much better. It was so basic – so cover band. For those of us who cut our teeth on androgynous English bands – you gotta come better than that to impress us.
Randy: OK choice and solid performance but overall, just OK
Paula: Your Hungry Like the Wolf left me with a big appetite
Simon: a little bit copycat. Didn’t make it your own. But it was good enough to make it through to next week.
Syesha singing “Proud Mary” I just want her to tackle less iconic songs and artists. She’s not THAT good. [And tonight’s performance really proved that point.] Her best performance was when she chose one of Mariah Carey’s more obscure songs and worked it out. Her critics are right – she does come off a bit Obamish “I looked in the mirror and said ‘Syesha, just do it.’” Really? Is that what you said?
Randy: Second week Syesha has shown up and Syesha is in the house
Paula: You look like a star
Simon: Bad, shrieky version; a bad impersonation of Tina Turner
[I have to go with Simon on this one. It really wasn’t very good – and that dress was fugly.]
Jason Castro sang Bob Marley’s “I Shot the Sheriff.” Let me break something down for you Jason -- just because your hair is twisted in nasty turd plaits does not you a rasta make. Get over yourself. And get a freakin haircut. Bob Marley is turning over right now.
Randy: a really karaoke Bob Marley; there was nothing special about it. At this point, you have to prove you deserve to be here.
Paula: I wasn’t crazy about the performance or the song, but you’re so real and so genuine. [Paula, just say it – you suck.]
Simon: utterly atrocious. That’s a song you do not touch …. That was honestly a first-round audition massacre.
[Unfortunately, he’ll be here next week.]
David A. sang Sam Cooke’s “Stand by Me.” OK, This kid annoys the crap out of me, but this tribute to Cooke, one of my favorite crossover artists , was off the chain! I loved his riffs and runs and how he even brought in some new school flavor with that Sean Kingston "Beautiful Girls" reference.
Randy: At least there’s one guy on the stage trying to win. It was hot! [I agree]
Paula: womp womp womp womp womp womp.
Simon: Best performance so far. You could have whistled the last song and it would have sounded better than the last song. [Ouch!]
Round Two
I have to give David C. credit for choosing a song that not too many people know --“Teenage Wasteland” by The Who. Unlike dumb and dumber (Syesha and Jason) who chose songs that few people had NOT heard, David let the audience judge his performance rather than his performance of that particular song. The judges were pleased.
Randy: Be you cause you were great.
Paula: I want more. [Yeah, I bet you do Paula]
Simon: Welcome back David Cook.
Syesha. I give up. First of all, this girl is comparing her run on American Idol with the Civil Rights Movement. Pu-leeeeese! And THEN she has the audacity to sing one of the most moving, the most pivotal, the most significant songs of this century – Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come.” You can’t even hear the intro to that song without getting teary-eyed. It is NOT an American Idol song. And THEN she butchered the ending. That was just sacrilege.
Randy: The first song I loved. This one –not as much. Didn’t like the arrangement or the vocals. Sam Cooke is the greatest singer in life – you didn’t need to change it.
Paula: For me, you turned this into a superstar performance.
Simon: Agreed with Paula. Randy got it wrong. I thought you sang it really, really well.
[What?! I am in disbelief.
Syesha…. Shut up! So she’s crying and talking about how important this is to her, and then she feels the need to educate America on the Civil Rights Movement because you know, she “researched” it before her performance. She’s my new least favorite.]
Jason, Jason, Jason. Finally, you choose a song and an artist that embodies your weirdness, I mean style, and you forget the lyrics!!!! I'm gonna tell Wayne Brady.
Randy: How do you think that was? [It’s never a good sign when the judges ask you how you think you did.]
Paula: It didn’t blow me away, but you blow me away.
Simon: Pack your suitcase.
[He’ll be here next week. I mean, this kid should have BEEN gone, but the Jo-Bro (that’s Jonas Brothers for all you non-parents) crowd thinks he’s sooooo cute and keeps blowing up the voting hotline.]
David does Elvis [sounds like a George Michael-inspired B-movie]
Again, I say … this kid is a radio star [can you see him in a video on MTV? Or guest-starring on The Hills?] But man, can this little guy blow!
Randy: Hot vocals of the night.
Paula: One of my favorite performances from you.
Simon: You didn’t beat the competition; you crushed the competition. [again … ouch!]
Personally, I wish we could vote Jason AND Syesha off and skip next week. This thing has dragged on like the Democratic primaries. Enough already! Let the Davids face-off – if we must (we know David A is going to win, and David C. will continue his career – did you know he already has an album? – only with a sweeter contract) but let’s get it over with. And this year’s finale better be good. No guest appearances by anyone over the age of 60 and/or a member of the Beatles. :)
Diamond in the Rough
The hopefuls got to sing two songs each tonight, but the catch -- they both had to be Neil Diamond songs. Like so many of the great songwriters, Diamond’s songs only became famous after being covered by other artists. For instance UB40’s “Red Red Wine,” Barbra Streisand’s "You Don’t Bring Me Flowers" or Urge Overkill’s “Girl, You’ll be a Woman Soon” from Pulp Fiction. Would the contestants fare as well?
Round One [The contestants weren’t officially “judged” until after their second performance, although Ryan allowed them a very brief critique before cutting to commercial.]
Jason Castro kicked off the night with “Forever in Blue Jeans” during which he shocked everyone by strumming a guitar!
Randy: OK
Simon: not good
David Cook rocked out to “I’m Alive.” It really could have been a Grammy performance. He’s the only contestant left with any originality or with any understanding of what it takes to be a star. You can’t just cover a song. You have to own it. Jennifer Hudson didn’t just re-sing “And I Am Telling You.” She sAng it – so well it brought the ditty’s original songstress out of retirement to try to reclaim her Diva crown.
Randy: great
Simon: just above average
Brooke White’s first attempt was “I’m a Believer,” during which she, too, stunned America by strumming the guitar. I liked Eddie Murphy’s rendition in Shrek much better. It was, pun intended, more believable.
Randy: better than last week, still karaoke
Simon: a nightmare
David A. decided to sing “Sweet Caroline” and actually put a little soul into it. America
and September Morn
Randy: the bomb
Simon: all right
Syesha Mercado sang “Hello Again.” Vocally, I thought she did an OK job. I have to admit… I now see what some critics have said about her Diva-like attitude. She does seem to pick the Whitney-esque songs, which would be fine if … she could sing like Whitney. But she’s not there yet. Pick an easy song for once girl!
Randy: good vocals but not your best
Simon: old fashioned
Paula got so confused, she commented on David’s two song choices before he had even sung the second. If tonight wasn’t proof that this woman is ripe for an intervention, I don’t know what is. She obviously has no family or friends or they would have pulled a Dr. Phil on her ass a long time ago.
Round Two
Huh? Oh sorry, I dozed off for a minute while Jason Castro was singing “September Morn.” Is that the taste of throw-up in my mouth?
Randy: Duuuuude. Nuff said.
Simon: There was no attempt to make the arrangement your own. You struggled through both performances.
David Cook tried to show us his soft side on “All I Really Need Is You.” But it wasn’t really “soft.” I would have liked to see him step outside his Creed comfort zone and sing something really soft and/or bluesy. But all in all, he still stands head and shoulders above the rest of those guys.
Randy: You rocked the house.
Simon: I thought the first song was OK. I thought the second song was brilliant. You made it sound like that song was made this year.
Brooke White. I want to smack her. She wrote the “tricky lyrics” to “I Am I Said” in her palm so she wouldn’t forget. And then she really went crazy and … played the piano. She is so not Sara Bareilles.
Randy: tough vocals, nice job
Simon: really, really hated the first song. But this is the Brooke we like. It wasn’t incredible but it was a million times better than the first song. Well done.
What the he&*!! kinda backhanded compliment was that?!
The All-American boy sang “America.” I’m as patriotic as the next gal, but this song annoys the crap out of me. And even more so when Gizmo sings it.
Randy: I think Randy has a boy crush on this kid. He never had a bad word to say.
Simon: That was a smart choice of song. Very clever.
[Notice – I haven’t included any Paula comments because she has become so irrelevant, I’d be surprised if she lasts another season. She’s like the Janice Dickinson of the show – so over-the-top that the joke (which is always on her) isn’t even funny anymore.]
Syesha tried to channel her inner Tina Turner with “Thank the Lord for the Nighttime.”
She’s no Tina either…
Randy: I like you in this. He’s pretty much destined her to be cut with all his “you’d be perfect for Broadway” references.
Paula (I have to note this – said Syesha could be a mix between Corinne Bailey Rae and Minnie Riperton (who, by the way, is SNL Maya Rudolph’s mom) Is Paula for real???? Yeah, Real crazy.)
Simon: I think you might be in trouble tonight. I don’t think you had a really memorable second song like the others tonight.
Simon’s right. Syesha is going home tomorrow. Jason Castro deserves to go, but he won’t. Brooke will go next week. Then Jason. It’ll come down to the two Davids and David Archuleta will win. BUT David Cook will be the only one to have a sustainable career.
Round One [The contestants weren’t officially “judged” until after their second performance, although Ryan allowed them a very brief critique before cutting to commercial.]
Jason Castro kicked off the night with “Forever in Blue Jeans” during which he shocked everyone by strumming a guitar!
Randy: OK
Simon: not good
David Cook rocked out to “I’m Alive.” It really could have been a Grammy performance. He’s the only contestant left with any originality or with any understanding of what it takes to be a star. You can’t just cover a song. You have to own it. Jennifer Hudson didn’t just re-sing “And I Am Telling You.” She sAng it – so well it brought the ditty’s original songstress out of retirement to try to reclaim her Diva crown.
Randy: great
Simon: just above average
Brooke White’s first attempt was “I’m a Believer,” during which she, too, stunned America by strumming the guitar. I liked Eddie Murphy’s rendition in Shrek much better. It was, pun intended, more believable.
Randy: better than last week, still karaoke
Simon: a nightmare
David A. decided to sing “Sweet Caroline” and actually put a little soul into it. America
and September Morn
Randy: the bomb
Simon: all right
Syesha Mercado sang “Hello Again.” Vocally, I thought she did an OK job. I have to admit… I now see what some critics have said about her Diva-like attitude. She does seem to pick the Whitney-esque songs, which would be fine if … she could sing like Whitney. But she’s not there yet. Pick an easy song for once girl!
Randy: good vocals but not your best
Simon: old fashioned
Paula got so confused, she commented on David’s two song choices before he had even sung the second. If tonight wasn’t proof that this woman is ripe for an intervention, I don’t know what is. She obviously has no family or friends or they would have pulled a Dr. Phil on her ass a long time ago.
Round Two
Huh? Oh sorry, I dozed off for a minute while Jason Castro was singing “September Morn.” Is that the taste of throw-up in my mouth?
Randy: Duuuuude. Nuff said.
Simon: There was no attempt to make the arrangement your own. You struggled through both performances.
David Cook tried to show us his soft side on “All I Really Need Is You.” But it wasn’t really “soft.” I would have liked to see him step outside his Creed comfort zone and sing something really soft and/or bluesy. But all in all, he still stands head and shoulders above the rest of those guys.
Randy: You rocked the house.
Simon: I thought the first song was OK. I thought the second song was brilliant. You made it sound like that song was made this year.
Brooke White. I want to smack her. She wrote the “tricky lyrics” to “I Am I Said” in her palm so she wouldn’t forget. And then she really went crazy and … played the piano. She is so not Sara Bareilles.
Randy: tough vocals, nice job
Simon: really, really hated the first song. But this is the Brooke we like. It wasn’t incredible but it was a million times better than the first song. Well done.
What the he&*!! kinda backhanded compliment was that?!
The All-American boy sang “America.” I’m as patriotic as the next gal, but this song annoys the crap out of me. And even more so when Gizmo sings it.
Randy: I think Randy has a boy crush on this kid. He never had a bad word to say.
Simon: That was a smart choice of song. Very clever.
[Notice – I haven’t included any Paula comments because she has become so irrelevant, I’d be surprised if she lasts another season. She’s like the Janice Dickinson of the show – so over-the-top that the joke (which is always on her) isn’t even funny anymore.]
Syesha tried to channel her inner Tina Turner with “Thank the Lord for the Nighttime.”
She’s no Tina either…
Randy: I like you in this. He’s pretty much destined her to be cut with all his “you’d be perfect for Broadway” references.
Paula (I have to note this – said Syesha could be a mix between Corinne Bailey Rae and Minnie Riperton (who, by the way, is SNL Maya Rudolph’s mom) Is Paula for real???? Yeah, Real crazy.)
Simon: I think you might be in trouble tonight. I don’t think you had a really memorable second song like the others tonight.
Simon’s right. Syesha is going home tomorrow. Jason Castro deserves to go, but he won’t. Brooke will go next week. Then Jason. It’ll come down to the two Davids and David Archuleta will win. BUT David Cook will be the only one to have a sustainable career.
They Say the Neon Lights Are Bright ...
Dust off your tap shoes and practice your jazz hands. It’s Broadway night kids!
The Idol-hopefuls traveled to Las Vegas to get schooled by this week’s inspiration and celebrity mentor, the legendary Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber.
At the start of the show, Randy predicted that this would be the most difficult week of the competition. And for some it was. But others saw this as an opportunity to shine.
Enter Syesha Mercado.
Syesha’s choice of “One Rock n Roll Too Many” from the New Starlight Express was ironic considering she doled out just enough rock n roll to please the crowd and the judges. Randy said it was her best performance ever. Simon said it was the first time her personality came through and called the performance “very sexy.” And for good reason. They straightened her hair into a sultry 20s updo and poured her into a fire engine red dress. Combine that with animated and near-flawless vocals and this could be the performance that gives her that “New Hampshire bump” she needs to stay viable in this contest. She’s still tops for me, and I still think she’s the only one left in this contest (besides maybe David Cook) who is actually marketable.
Jason, Jason, Jason. “Memories?!” Lord Webber says he never imagined a guy with dreadlocks singing “Memories.” (from Cats) In fact, the singer gave Webber “a little bit of a jolt.” On Jason’s interpretation of the classic, “He kind of understood it, I think” After this pitiful attempt, Jason might as well be singing about his stint on the show cuz surely this is his last night. Randy called his vocals “a bit of a train wreck.” But he was really nice about it. Even Paula couldn’t clean this up… Simon said it seemed forced and suggested that both he and Jason were miserable during what he suspected were “the longest two minutes of [Jason’s] life.”
Brooke White, the resident hippie, chose “You Must Love Me” from Evita. Webber said he didn’t think Brooke “had a clue what she was singing about.” Thankfully, he filled her in. This was a good choice. Evita was made into a mainstream movie and so most people remember Madonna’s rendition of the song. Not hard to compete with the vocal stylings of the Material Girl. Or is it? She started off strong but started to unravel midway. Paula’s criticism was that she stopped mid-verse and started again (Brooke said because she forgot the words) BUT interestingly enough, Brooke was praised for stopping and starting again three weeks ago. Simon called it brave again this week. But this critic calls it sloppy. Kind of like Paula was during the rest of her critique. What the heck was she talking about?????
OK, how many kids are in David A’s family?? I keep forgetting he’s Mormon. Not that I find anything wrong with Mormonism. My issue is with having that many kids – period.
So David tackled “Think of Me” from Phantom of the Opera. It was OK -- very “adult contemporary.” Like if Michael Bolton were to sing Broadway. Randy says he’s the one to beat and Simon called his performance “pleasant” adding that it was not his strongest. L’il David has skills, no doubt about it. I just don’t know if they will easily transfer to a mainstream (and mostly young, fickle and Pop-crazy) audience.
Maybe he and his 8,000 siblings can form a Mormon Jackson 5.
Carly Smithson started to sing a Phantom song, but Lord Webber stopped her and persuaded her to sing “Superstar” from Jesus Christ Superstar instead, She looked the part. (I want that dress) She sang the part. And she almost won the part. Simon called it one of the best performances of the night. Girls 2, Boys 0.
*But then she flashed her “Simon Loves Me (this week)” T-shirt and lost half a point. How presumptuous! Girls 1.5, Boys, 0. With last week’s “come on over” gesture to safe but definitely not sound David A and then this week’s T-shirt stunt, she’s turning into the one (everyone wants) to beat.
David Cook ended the show with “Music of the Night” from Phantom. Webber (who I am LOVING for his British/theatrical candor. He could give Simon a run for his money.) said if David could show some emotion when he sings “maybe it will work.” Dang Andy, tell us how you really feel. I’m normally a David Cook fan, but I didn’t get this performance. It’s one of those songs that, I think, needs the set and costuming to bring it to life. But the judges thought otherwise and gave him a very positive critique. But hey, I like Big David, so hopefully he’ll stick around for another week.
By the way, what happened to the green-powered finale?
If “America” chooses reason over “rhyme,” then Brooke, Jason and David Cook will be in the bottom three. And Jason will go home.
But I have a feeling the bottom three will be Brooke, Jason and Syesha (I don’t know why “America” isn’t feeling Syesha). Jason will unfortunately stick around for another week. And they’ll go ahead and send Brooke home.
The Idol-hopefuls traveled to Las Vegas to get schooled by this week’s inspiration and celebrity mentor, the legendary Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber.
At the start of the show, Randy predicted that this would be the most difficult week of the competition. And for some it was. But others saw this as an opportunity to shine.
Enter Syesha Mercado.
Syesha’s choice of “One Rock n Roll Too Many” from the New Starlight Express was ironic considering she doled out just enough rock n roll to please the crowd and the judges. Randy said it was her best performance ever. Simon said it was the first time her personality came through and called the performance “very sexy.” And for good reason. They straightened her hair into a sultry 20s updo and poured her into a fire engine red dress. Combine that with animated and near-flawless vocals and this could be the performance that gives her that “New Hampshire bump” she needs to stay viable in this contest. She’s still tops for me, and I still think she’s the only one left in this contest (besides maybe David Cook) who is actually marketable.
Jason, Jason, Jason. “Memories?!” Lord Webber says he never imagined a guy with dreadlocks singing “Memories.” (from Cats) In fact, the singer gave Webber “a little bit of a jolt.” On Jason’s interpretation of the classic, “He kind of understood it, I think” After this pitiful attempt, Jason might as well be singing about his stint on the show cuz surely this is his last night. Randy called his vocals “a bit of a train wreck.” But he was really nice about it. Even Paula couldn’t clean this up… Simon said it seemed forced and suggested that both he and Jason were miserable during what he suspected were “the longest two minutes of [Jason’s] life.”
Brooke White, the resident hippie, chose “You Must Love Me” from Evita. Webber said he didn’t think Brooke “had a clue what she was singing about.” Thankfully, he filled her in. This was a good choice. Evita was made into a mainstream movie and so most people remember Madonna’s rendition of the song. Not hard to compete with the vocal stylings of the Material Girl. Or is it? She started off strong but started to unravel midway. Paula’s criticism was that she stopped mid-verse and started again (Brooke said because she forgot the words) BUT interestingly enough, Brooke was praised for stopping and starting again three weeks ago. Simon called it brave again this week. But this critic calls it sloppy. Kind of like Paula was during the rest of her critique. What the heck was she talking about?????
OK, how many kids are in David A’s family?? I keep forgetting he’s Mormon. Not that I find anything wrong with Mormonism. My issue is with having that many kids – period.
So David tackled “Think of Me” from Phantom of the Opera. It was OK -- very “adult contemporary.” Like if Michael Bolton were to sing Broadway. Randy says he’s the one to beat and Simon called his performance “pleasant” adding that it was not his strongest. L’il David has skills, no doubt about it. I just don’t know if they will easily transfer to a mainstream (and mostly young, fickle and Pop-crazy) audience.
Maybe he and his 8,000 siblings can form a Mormon Jackson 5.
Carly Smithson started to sing a Phantom song, but Lord Webber stopped her and persuaded her to sing “Superstar” from Jesus Christ Superstar instead, She looked the part. (I want that dress) She sang the part. And she almost won the part. Simon called it one of the best performances of the night. Girls 2, Boys 0.
*But then she flashed her “Simon Loves Me (this week)” T-shirt and lost half a point. How presumptuous! Girls 1.5, Boys, 0. With last week’s “come on over” gesture to safe but definitely not sound David A and then this week’s T-shirt stunt, she’s turning into the one (everyone wants) to beat.
David Cook ended the show with “Music of the Night” from Phantom. Webber (who I am LOVING for his British/theatrical candor. He could give Simon a run for his money.) said if David could show some emotion when he sings “maybe it will work.” Dang Andy, tell us how you really feel. I’m normally a David Cook fan, but I didn’t get this performance. It’s one of those songs that, I think, needs the set and costuming to bring it to life. But the judges thought otherwise and gave him a very positive critique. But hey, I like Big David, so hopefully he’ll stick around for another week.
By the way, what happened to the green-powered finale?
If “America” chooses reason over “rhyme,” then Brooke, Jason and David Cook will be in the bottom three. And Jason will go home.
But I have a feeling the bottom three will be Brooke, Jason and Syesha (I don’t know why “America” isn’t feeling Syesha). Jason will unfortunately stick around for another week. And they’ll go ahead and send Brooke home.
Come to MiMi
Me and Mariah
Go back like
babies with pacifiers
RIPODB
Go back like
babies with pacifiers
RIPODB
So, tonight’s celebrity coach is the one, the only Mariah Carey (see Six Degrees). Of course, it’s no coincidence that the high-octave diva was scheduled for tonight’s contest. Her 11th studio album E=MC2 dropped today (I pre-ordered last weekend, so it should be arriving soon! I’ll post a review later) as one of the most highly anticipated releases of the year. OK, moderately anticipated. And in homage to MiMi, the Idols are tackling some of her greatest hits, of which (by the way) there are some 18 number ones – more than any other solo artist in history. Plus she’s Randy Jackson’s BFF and FND (favorite name drop).
Interestingly enough, Ryan opened up the show with a “disclaimer” about last week’s elimination. He warned “America” that apathetic voting could cause another fan favorite to go home early. Hey – the Democrats should use that line.
Mariah showed up in true diva fashion – little dog in tow. But I was impressed at how fully clothed she was. And I was also impressed that she was actually giving the contestants real vocal coaching. Talk about a once-in-a-lifetime … voice lessons from “The Voice.”
Disclaimer #2: Ryan and Randy considered the difficulty of singing a “Whitney” or a “Mariah” and how usually contestants are advised against it. And later Simon commented “we won’t be seeing a lot of laughs tonight.” Makes you wonder if they’d been sitting in on rehearsals.
David Archuleta tackled “When You Believe” (her duet with Whitney from the Prince of Egypt soundtrack) and the judges were impressed. Even Simon had praise for the cutie patutie. Mind you, he steered clear of the verses, which are probably the most moving and most difficult parts of that song – especially Mariah’s verse. But I thought it was an OK opener, and he’ll probably end up in the top 3. Hear the original.
Carly Smithson singing Mariah – what a strange combination. But not nearly as strange, though, as her lengthy lamentation of Michael Johns. What’s up with that????!!! Carly chose “Without You”which in my opinion is cheating because it’s actually a cover of a song originally recorded by Badfinger and then covered by Harry Nilsson only to be covered again by Mariah. But it was an obvious choice for the songstress who has become the resident screamer, a la Pat Benetar. The judges weren’t impressed; they didn’t think she lived up to her potential. Smithson needs to make a believer out of Simon. But I was so glad to see her looking soft(er) and feminine in her periwinkle dress WITH SLEEVES! (is that sexist?) Hear the original.
OMG! When I heard Syesha was singing “Vanishing” (from Mariah’s self-titled debut album), I got so excited. This is by far my absolute favorite Mariah song and has secretly been the one song I’d sing for my own Idol audition (stop laughing) since the show began. Could she pull it off? Could she capture the emotion? That would be a resounding YES – I couldn’t have sung it better myself. And I’m so glad. As the remaining member of the “underrepresented population,” I need her to stick around. Simon had a good point though – it’s always tough when the audience doesn’t know the song, but that’s what’s so cool about this show – it introduces these kids (13-year-old girls) to some really great music. I wouldn’t have changed a thing – I thought it was a perfect choice. Now that Michael Johns is gone (booo!), Syesha is my ultimate fave. She’s got the whole package – the pipes, the body, the face, the hair. Rihanna – watch out. For a while, I thought Simon was just hatin’, but I remembered he did the same thing to Fantasia. And look how that turned out. Hear the original.
Brooke White – have a little whine with that cheese? Let’s see … life-changing opportunity? Sister’s dumb wedding? What a choice. And speaking of choices … “Hero”? Come on!!! How typical. And in my opinion, the only redeeming factor of that song was the piano playing, and there was nothing complicated about that. For one thing, she rushed the song. If she were trying to up the tempo, sure … but I don’t think she was doing that. Let’s see what Randy says … Randy attributed it to a lack of confidence. (Or talent.) Paula agreed with me – that she sped the song up. Simon compared it to a meatless burger … Where’s the beef, Brooke? Where’s the beef? And what’s with this whole singer-songwriter business? Everybody who sits at a piano is not a singer-songwriter. Hear the original.
Christie Lee Cook chose “Forever,” another little-known Mariah ballad from the Daydream album. This was a great choice for Christie and I applaud her for knowing it. The song already has a slight twang so it didn’t seem like she was countryfying a soul ballad. Considering I regard her in the same light as Kelly Pickler, I have to say I thought she did a pretty good job. The judges weren’t as kind. Too bad. Hear the original.
David Cook worked it out on “Always Be My Baby.” I’m still rooting for Syesha, but if he ends up in the final two, I won’t be mad at him at all. His soft-rock rendition of this playful pop-tart was really cool. I mean really cool as in hold your lighters in the air and wave ‘em like you just don’t care “cool.” I wouldn’t have known it was the same song – but I liked it just as much as the original. It reminded me of 80s rock ballads like Guns and Roses November Rain – sweet and sinister all at the same time. And isn’t that what makes a great cover? That the artist can have a totally different vision of the song while maintaining the integrity of the lyrics. Bravo David. Bravo. The judges were even more complimentary. He received a standing “o” from Randy and Simon says he’s like a “breath of fresh air after coming out of karaoke hell.” Hear the original.
Jason Castro … and here is another artist looking for the words to describe him. Dolly called him “funky.” Mariah called him “interesting and different.” He chose “I Don’t Wanna Cry” from Mariah’s first CD and totally altered the arrangement to add Cuban/reggae undertones. But unlike David before him, he stripped the song of its essence. He dumbed down what is an absolutely dynamic song. I mean this song will bring chills every time I hear it. She sings “I don’t wanna cry, don’t wanna cry” and I feel like crying. Jason’s version made me want to cry, but for different reasons. Randy wasn’t impressed, either. But surprisingly, Simon praised his originality. Hear the original.
Simon was on the money though when he said the boys outshone the girls. I think that’s been a trend and now, I am officially eating my words. In one of the first posts, I ranted that the boys couldn’t hold a candle to the girls and were taking up valuable space in the top 12. Oh, how the script has flipped ….
In the words of Miss Tyra Banks: So who goes home? The girl who seems to have everything – looks, voice, personality -- but who just can’t seem to package it in a way that impresses the judges? Or the girl who gets better and better every week, but who the judges feel still has too far to go at this stage in the competition?
____, you’re still in the running to become the next American Idol.
Who do you guys think will (or should) go home tomorrow night? Chime in, and let’s see whose predictions come true.
(use the comments field)
Not Very Inspiring
Guest Blogger Kevin Litwin
Tuesday was called Inspiration Night on American Idol, with contestants choosing songs they especially enjoy. I liked a couple of the performances, was bored by many of them, and disliked two or three.
Since Teree asked me to guest blog this week, I'm going to rate the performances from best to worst -- in my opinion. Here goes:
David Archuleta
David is the contestant I want to win it all, so he has to really butcher a song for me not to like his performance. He sang the gospel song Angels, and did a good job.
Randy said it was David's hottest moment of the whole season, calling it “crazy hot.”
Paula simply said that Randy's words summed it up for her, and Simon said it was the best song choice of the night, but not David's best vocal ever.
“But I'm nit-picking here because you are going to sail through to the next round,” Simon said.
Kristy Lee Cook
Kristy Lee Cook with the second-best performance of the night? Yes, she did very well because she stuck to country music, which she sings with ease. She sang Anyway by Martina McBride, and all three judges raved about it.
“I thought you were very, very good indeed,” Simon said. “Tonight, you look like a star. Very smart song choice by you.”
Syesha Mercado
I thought she did okay, but not great. She sang I Believe by Fantasia, and Randy called her out on it.
“You took on a tiger of a song that Fantasia sings the living daylights out of, and you didn't,” Randy said.
However, Paula said it was one of Syesha's most shining nights, while Simon questioned the choice of song.
“Last week you take on Whitney, and this week Fantasia. I would actually like to know what you, yourself, are all about,” Simon said.
David Cook
Okay, I've run out of contestants I thought performed well last night, so next comes David Cook. He sang Innocent by a band called Our Lady Peace, and I thought he was adequate. However, my wife thought it sounded monotone and bland.
“I'm a huge fan of yours, but I’m not sure if this was one of your strongest weeks,” Randy said.
Simon agreed.
“I didn't like this performance very much at all, and actually thought it was a teensy, weensy bit pompous,” Simon said.
I don't know what that means, but I usually agree with Simon so I guess David Cook was pompous.
Jason Castro
I just don't like this guy to begin with, but everybody seemed to enjoy his Somewhere Over the Rainbow performance, accompanied by a ukulele. Singing about lemon drops and bluebirds? It was so bizarre that the 14-year-old girls in the mosh pit weren’t even waving their hands ,like the producers tell them to do each song.
“I thought it was fantastic,” Simon said.
But I sure didn't. I would have given him a zero out of 10, but I’m not on the judging panel.
THE BOTTOM THREE
Brooke White
She sang You've Got a Friend by Carole King. What a yawnfest – and I like Brooke.
“It was okay, but not one of your best performances,” Randy said.
“Was it nice? Yes. Was it original? No. Was it pleasant? Yes,” Simon said.
Michael Johns
He sang Dream On by Aerosmith, and he stunk.
“I don’t like when you do an impersonation of a rock star,” Simon said. “I thought it was a little wannabe-ish.”
Randy concurred.
“There were some pitch problems and you aren't anything like Aerosmith,” he said.
Carly Smithson
I thought she gave a pathetic rendition of The Show Must Go On by Queen, but I probably hated it because Queen is one of my top-5 favorite bands ever.
“I think you oversang it, and you actually lost control of the song,” Simon said. “It came off as an angry performance that was out of kilter with the inspirational theme of the evening. You might be in a bit of trouble after tonight.”
Whew. This blogging is work.
Sweet T -- it's all yours.
I'm Back
OK, so it’s Dolly Parton night… I guess Idol could do worse. At least it wasn’t another Beatles night. And Dolly is still relevant. Even Maimee knows who she is… In her words “She plays Hannah Montana’s godmother, and she owns Dollywood.” (Maimee’s favorite place on earth) And quiet as it's kept, I'm a big Dolly fan. Don't let the big chest and blond hair fool you -- that lady's got soul. The Beatles are the opposite of soul. (Sorry, Jeff, I'll get off the Beatles)
So, Brooke White opened with her version of Jolene. And I thought she did a pretty good job. I think Randy was right about the pitchiness in places, but overall, I thought it was a solid performance. Way better than some.
David’s Little Sparrow rocked! Metaphorically speaking. He’s one of the most versatile performers to come through the Idol process. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately – look at Chris Daughtry) he won’t win for that very reason. America loves to put people in boxes.
Ramiele is a mystery to me. If she were drop dead gorgeous, I could understand how she keeps making it through every week. But she’s not. Bless her homely heart.
And what’s up with Simon’s constant reference to cruise ships … think he needs a vacation?
Dolly described Jason Castro as funky (not funny) looking …. nuff said. OK, I’ll say this last thing: I would pay good money to take some scissors to those natty turd plaits. I’m sure Bob Marley is turning over in his grave!
Ooh Dollywood plug! Simon mentioned losing his season pass to Dollywood … was just there Saturday. Chillin with the glass blowers, eating some taffy and funnel cakes …
I have nothing against tattoos, but it’s like Carly is trying to force her “coolness” it down our throats –do they not have any shirts or dresses with sleeves? Don’t get me wrong, I think she has an awesome voice, but I’m not sure if she has the whole package. For that matter, I’m not sure any of them are “American Idols” except maybe Sayesha, but America’s trying to get rid of her –what’s up with that.
Speaking of former Idols and the total package –saw the Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown No Air video for the first time this morning. Little Jordin looked so grown up and cute.
David Archeletta is another one who has an awesome voice, but might not look so hot in a video … and that’s what it’s really about. That is if American Idol wants to continue its tradition of turning out pop stars. If they want to turn out radio performers (Ruben Studdard, Taylor Hicks), then David’s their man. It’s not right, but that’s the business.
Kristy Lee Cook …. Kelly Pickler 2.0
Sayesha -- can't say the girl don't have guts --to tackle a Dolly/Whitney song ... I didn't think she'd pull it off, but considering the size of this song, I thought she performed pretty well. And her hair looked amazing ...
But just when I had made up my mind who I would vote for, Michael Johns blew me away with It's All Wrong, But It's All Right (amen!) ... he has that blue-eyed soul thing going on, and Sweet T is liking it.
My predictions for Wednesday's elimination: either Brooke or Sayesha ... like the song says, it's all wrong, but it's all right.
You know who I'd like to see them cover -- Aretha Franklin or Lionel Richie (Lionel Richie is one of the most prolific songwriters of our time...) And how cool would it be if they covered Prince songs? Brooke (if she's still here) could sing Nothing Compares to You. Ramiele could try and belt out If I Was Your Girlfriend. Carly could throw down on How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore. David A would sound great on something sultry like The Ladder, and .... you know what, I don't think there are enough PG-rated Prince songs to choose from ... Oh well.
Ain't Nothin Like the Real Thing
Dolly Parton, Coat of Many Colors
Dolly Parton, Jolene
Dolly Parton, I Will Always Love You
Dolly Parton, Here You Come Again
Dolly Parton, Travelin Thru
So, Brooke White opened with her version of Jolene. And I thought she did a pretty good job. I think Randy was right about the pitchiness in places, but overall, I thought it was a solid performance. Way better than some.
David’s Little Sparrow rocked! Metaphorically speaking. He’s one of the most versatile performers to come through the Idol process. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately – look at Chris Daughtry) he won’t win for that very reason. America loves to put people in boxes.
Ramiele is a mystery to me. If she were drop dead gorgeous, I could understand how she keeps making it through every week. But she’s not. Bless her homely heart.
And what’s up with Simon’s constant reference to cruise ships … think he needs a vacation?
Dolly described Jason Castro as funky (not funny) looking …. nuff said. OK, I’ll say this last thing: I would pay good money to take some scissors to those natty turd plaits. I’m sure Bob Marley is turning over in his grave!
Ooh Dollywood plug! Simon mentioned losing his season pass to Dollywood … was just there Saturday. Chillin with the glass blowers, eating some taffy and funnel cakes …
I have nothing against tattoos, but it’s like Carly is trying to force her “coolness” it down our throats –do they not have any shirts or dresses with sleeves? Don’t get me wrong, I think she has an awesome voice, but I’m not sure if she has the whole package. For that matter, I’m not sure any of them are “American Idols” except maybe Sayesha, but America’s trying to get rid of her –what’s up with that.
Speaking of former Idols and the total package –saw the Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown No Air video for the first time this morning. Little Jordin looked so grown up and cute.
David Archeletta is another one who has an awesome voice, but might not look so hot in a video … and that’s what it’s really about. That is if American Idol wants to continue its tradition of turning out pop stars. If they want to turn out radio performers (Ruben Studdard, Taylor Hicks), then David’s their man. It’s not right, but that’s the business.
Kristy Lee Cook …. Kelly Pickler 2.0
Sayesha -- can't say the girl don't have guts --to tackle a Dolly/Whitney song ... I didn't think she'd pull it off, but considering the size of this song, I thought she performed pretty well. And her hair looked amazing ...
But just when I had made up my mind who I would vote for, Michael Johns blew me away with It's All Wrong, But It's All Right (amen!) ... he has that blue-eyed soul thing going on, and Sweet T is liking it.
My predictions for Wednesday's elimination: either Brooke or Sayesha ... like the song says, it's all wrong, but it's all right.
You know who I'd like to see them cover -- Aretha Franklin or Lionel Richie (Lionel Richie is one of the most prolific songwriters of our time...) And how cool would it be if they covered Prince songs? Brooke (if she's still here) could sing Nothing Compares to You. Ramiele could try and belt out If I Was Your Girlfriend. Carly could throw down on How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore. David A would sound great on something sultry like The Ladder, and .... you know what, I don't think there are enough PG-rated Prince songs to choose from ... Oh well.
Ain't Nothin Like the Real Thing
Dolly Parton, Coat of Many Colors
Dolly Parton, Jolene
Dolly Parton, I Will Always Love You
Dolly Parton, Here You Come Again
Dolly Parton, Travelin Thru
British Invasion
Did Ryan just say tonight is Beatles night???? And did he really say that this was by popular demand??? Whose demand? People who hate life? People who hate me?
But I’m going to grin and bear it and try to get through it. But the Beatles again – seriously?
So Randy starts the show off by yawning … In his head, he’s asking, ‘the Beatles ---again??? Seriously???’
And then I get a call from my mom who asks, ‘Are they doing the Beatles again? I can’t watch this. I’d rather they sing Country.’
Then my sister calls and asks, ‘They’re doing the Beatles again?’
True story.
Anyone out there older than 40, can you please tell me what the appeal is? Cuz as hard as I listen, I don’t get it. What’s the fascination?
And as far as I’m concerned, the only thing worse than listening to the Beatles is listening to other people try and sing the Beatles. And I really feel bad for these kids --they are as connected to the Beatles as Paula Abdul is to her sanity. They just weren't into it. Poor Brooke White --Here Comes the Sun? Looked more like here come the tears. And Simon keeps talking about song choice -- but what are their choices really? It's one monochromatic song after another ... And hearing Amanda try to explain her song choice Blackbird -- you equate it with your musical journey? really? One dude tried to get the sympathy vote by dedicating his awful performance to his "homey who ain't here." And dreadlocked dude didn't even know what the words to his song meant.
I was so looking forward to watching Idol tonight, y'all. But I can’t bear to hear Chickezie sing She Loves You Yeah Yeah -- no. In fact, my ears are bleeding as I type. So instead of spending the next 150 words talking about why I feel the Beatles are soooo overrated and why these performances tonight are soooo underwhelming, I’ll turn my attention to other stuff that was going on in 1964 besides the British Invasion.
Miss Ross and her Supremes asked Where did our love go?
Jan and Dean prophetically sang about Dead Man's Curve
The Civil Rights Act was passed
The phrase "Women's Liberation" was coined
Fashion designer Paco Rabanne sent a Black model walking down a runway for the first time
MLK won the Nobel Peace Prize
I know --can't compare ....
And while I'm whining about how disappointing this Idol season is turning out to be (with the exception of that brief glimmer of hope on 80s night), let me just ask --Kelly Pickler? Really?
But I’m going to grin and bear it and try to get through it. But the Beatles again – seriously?
So Randy starts the show off by yawning … In his head, he’s asking, ‘the Beatles ---again??? Seriously???’
And then I get a call from my mom who asks, ‘Are they doing the Beatles again? I can’t watch this. I’d rather they sing Country.’
Then my sister calls and asks, ‘They’re doing the Beatles again?’
True story.
Anyone out there older than 40, can you please tell me what the appeal is? Cuz as hard as I listen, I don’t get it. What’s the fascination?
And as far as I’m concerned, the only thing worse than listening to the Beatles is listening to other people try and sing the Beatles. And I really feel bad for these kids --they are as connected to the Beatles as Paula Abdul is to her sanity. They just weren't into it. Poor Brooke White --Here Comes the Sun? Looked more like here come the tears. And Simon keeps talking about song choice -- but what are their choices really? It's one monochromatic song after another ... And hearing Amanda try to explain her song choice Blackbird -- you equate it with your musical journey? really? One dude tried to get the sympathy vote by dedicating his awful performance to his "homey who ain't here." And dreadlocked dude didn't even know what the words to his song meant.
I was so looking forward to watching Idol tonight, y'all. But I can’t bear to hear Chickezie sing She Loves You Yeah Yeah -- no. In fact, my ears are bleeding as I type. So instead of spending the next 150 words talking about why I feel the Beatles are soooo overrated and why these performances tonight are soooo underwhelming, I’ll turn my attention to other stuff that was going on in 1964 besides the British Invasion.
Miss Ross and her Supremes asked Where did our love go?
Jan and Dean prophetically sang about Dead Man's Curve
The Civil Rights Act was passed
The phrase "Women's Liberation" was coined
Fashion designer Paco Rabanne sent a Black model walking down a runway for the first time
MLK won the Nobel Peace Prize
I know --can't compare ....
And while I'm whining about how disappointing this Idol season is turning out to be (with the exception of that brief glimmer of hope on 80s night), let me just ask --Kelly Pickler? Really?
Oh What a Night
Oh yes it’s 80s night
And the feeling’s right
Oh yes it’s 80’s night, oh what a night
Oh what a night
I am in 80s music heaven tonight. Sure, I gave my “expert” picks last week, but these guys surpassed my wildest dreams. Phil Collins, George Michael, Luther. It’s like my very own mix tape. Or better yet – a very special episode of Family Ties. You know – the one where Tom Hanks guess stars at Elise Keaton’s alcoholic brother, Ned.
Luke Menard kicked off the show with Wham!’s Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. You know, he could have gargled this song, and I would have been on my feet dancing. And contrary to the judge’s opinion (it’s never a good sign when Randy asks if you had a good time), this IS a fun song.
Shameless Plug #804: Paula “mentions” that she choreographed George Michael’s tour.
David Archaletta made me wish I was half my age tonight… that little boy KILLED Phil Collins’ Another Day in Paradise – and on the piano no less. I mean he worked it. With his cute little argyle sweater… I agree with the judges in theory. You can tell from his explanations of song choices that he’s not as mature as the subject matter he sings about. But who cares? He’s adorable!
Danny Noriega pulled out the vinyl with his rendition of Soft Cell’s Tainted Love. Granted, there was more hair flipping than good singing, but boy, was it fun to watch. Paula complimented his vocals, which isn’t saying much. I had to agree with Simon though, Danny (bless his little heart) is a waste of space in this competition.
David. David. David. (I’m shaking my head while I write this) My boy David Hernandez sang Celine Dion’s It’s All Coming Back to Me Now (which, by the way was originally written for Meatloaf’s Bat Out of Hell CD but was replaced with I’ll Do Anything for Love –another GREAT song –and which wasn’t recorded by Celine until 1996. Isn’t is 80s night?) I digress. My point is that dudes should NOT be allowed to sing Celine Dion, I don’t care how well he sings it (and David SANG it). That’s all I have to say about that. Except he still gets my vote.
Michael Johns rocked out to Simple Minds’ Don’t You Forget About Me. Did that song sound familiar? Head straight to the video store and rent The Breakfast Club (and Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles while you’re at it). Do not pass go.
I thought Michael Johns was probably the first guy who picked the right song. Classic 80s yet with just enough edge to let the rocker show his talent. I was impressed. Look for him next week. Sadly, he only knows this song through his “older” sister. Ouch.
Did I mention already that I am LOVING 80s night???
David Cook and Lionel Richie’s Hello. Originally, I picked this song for Luke Menard. But Dave’s rock, contemporary rendition was kinda cool. I was really feeling it. And it was literally a different song. I think he’ll be around for a while.
Shameless Plug #805: Simon was grocery shopping at Whole Foods with Lionel Richie on Sunday.
Jason Castro. Dude, he’s just weird. And his song choice – Hallelujah written by Leonard Cohen -- even weirder. I mean, it’s a pretty song, in a spooky kind of way, but the only reason I even knew that song is it’s on Maimee’s Shrek soundtrack. But the judges loved him, so I’m sure we’ll see the Ivory Rasta next week.
Trivia: Hallelujah has been covered by some 50 artists and bands, including Bob Dylan, Bono and Anthony Michael Hall (of the Breakfast Club fame).
Chikezie Ezie. I’m assuming he’s singing the Luther (RIP) Vandross version of Whitney’s All the Man I Need. True, I pegged him for a Luther song this week, but if he’s in for the next few weeks, I hope he doesn’t fall into the Ruben Studdard trap of ONLY singing Luther. Cause even in the grave, there is only ONE Lutha. BUT – he gets tons of cool points for knowing this song’s musical chronology. And I was a little miffed as Simon hating on Chikezie for singing Luther but giving David a pass for singing Celine. Let’s play fair, Simon.
All in all, the boys shocked the heck out of me. Just a week ago, I had written most of them off as talent-less wannabes. But tonight … tonight, they made a believer out of me, and I don’t want to see any of them go. But if one has to go – my prediction is poor Luke Menard. Just like George Michael’s career after Listen Without Prejudice, Luke’s time is over.
And the feeling’s right
Oh yes it’s 80’s night, oh what a night
Oh what a night
I am in 80s music heaven tonight. Sure, I gave my “expert” picks last week, but these guys surpassed my wildest dreams. Phil Collins, George Michael, Luther. It’s like my very own mix tape. Or better yet – a very special episode of Family Ties. You know – the one where Tom Hanks guess stars at Elise Keaton’s alcoholic brother, Ned.
Luke Menard kicked off the show with Wham!’s Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. You know, he could have gargled this song, and I would have been on my feet dancing. And contrary to the judge’s opinion (it’s never a good sign when Randy asks if you had a good time), this IS a fun song.
Shameless Plug #804: Paula “mentions” that she choreographed George Michael’s tour.
David Archaletta made me wish I was half my age tonight… that little boy KILLED Phil Collins’ Another Day in Paradise – and on the piano no less. I mean he worked it. With his cute little argyle sweater… I agree with the judges in theory. You can tell from his explanations of song choices that he’s not as mature as the subject matter he sings about. But who cares? He’s adorable!
Danny Noriega pulled out the vinyl with his rendition of Soft Cell’s Tainted Love. Granted, there was more hair flipping than good singing, but boy, was it fun to watch. Paula complimented his vocals, which isn’t saying much. I had to agree with Simon though, Danny (bless his little heart) is a waste of space in this competition.
David. David. David. (I’m shaking my head while I write this) My boy David Hernandez sang Celine Dion’s It’s All Coming Back to Me Now (which, by the way was originally written for Meatloaf’s Bat Out of Hell CD but was replaced with I’ll Do Anything for Love –another GREAT song –and which wasn’t recorded by Celine until 1996. Isn’t is 80s night?) I digress. My point is that dudes should NOT be allowed to sing Celine Dion, I don’t care how well he sings it (and David SANG it). That’s all I have to say about that. Except he still gets my vote.
Michael Johns rocked out to Simple Minds’ Don’t You Forget About Me. Did that song sound familiar? Head straight to the video store and rent The Breakfast Club (and Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles while you’re at it). Do not pass go.
I thought Michael Johns was probably the first guy who picked the right song. Classic 80s yet with just enough edge to let the rocker show his talent. I was impressed. Look for him next week. Sadly, he only knows this song through his “older” sister. Ouch.
Did I mention already that I am LOVING 80s night???
David Cook and Lionel Richie’s Hello. Originally, I picked this song for Luke Menard. But Dave’s rock, contemporary rendition was kinda cool. I was really feeling it. And it was literally a different song. I think he’ll be around for a while.
Shameless Plug #805: Simon was grocery shopping at Whole Foods with Lionel Richie on Sunday.
Jason Castro. Dude, he’s just weird. And his song choice – Hallelujah written by Leonard Cohen -- even weirder. I mean, it’s a pretty song, in a spooky kind of way, but the only reason I even knew that song is it’s on Maimee’s Shrek soundtrack. But the judges loved him, so I’m sure we’ll see the Ivory Rasta next week.
Trivia: Hallelujah has been covered by some 50 artists and bands, including Bob Dylan, Bono and Anthony Michael Hall (of the Breakfast Club fame).
Chikezie Ezie. I’m assuming he’s singing the Luther (RIP) Vandross version of Whitney’s All the Man I Need. True, I pegged him for a Luther song this week, but if he’s in for the next few weeks, I hope he doesn’t fall into the Ruben Studdard trap of ONLY singing Luther. Cause even in the grave, there is only ONE Lutha. BUT – he gets tons of cool points for knowing this song’s musical chronology. And I was a little miffed as Simon hating on Chikezie for singing Luther but giving David a pass for singing Celine. Let’s play fair, Simon.
All in all, the boys shocked the heck out of me. Just a week ago, I had written most of them off as talent-less wannabes. But tonight … tonight, they made a believer out of me, and I don’t want to see any of them go. But if one has to go – my prediction is poor Luke Menard. Just like George Michael’s career after Listen Without Prejudice, Luke’s time is over.
I Heart the 80s
OK, so all I can really blog about are the 30 minutes of Idol I saw tonight. (I've GOT to get TiVo -- ANTM is awesome this cycle!)
I'll just say I cannot wait until next week when we get to the 80s. These last two weeks have taken all of the Ohhhh! out of Old School. These kids -- most of whom weren't even a thought in their parents' minds in the 70s -- are just having a difficult time picking songs that aren't part of a tired 70s cliche. I love the BeeGees just as much as the next girl, but I'm with Simon -- some of those songs from the 70s were past their prime the minute they were released. I think they'll have a much better go at it next week, considering most songs from the 80s have been sampled in rap songs, so at least they'll be familiar to the contestants. Now anyone who knows me is aware of my love of 80s music. I continue to assert that 1984 (Purple Rain AND Thriller, c'mon!) was the best year for music ever. So if TEREE were picking songs for the contestants, here's what they'd be singing next week:
Carly Smithson (Pat Benetar, Love Is a Battlefield)
Syesha Mercado (Whitney Houston, I Wanna Dance With Somebody)
Brooke White (Madonna, Crazy For You)
Ramiele Malubay (Tina Turner, What's Love Got to Do With It)
Kristy Lee Cook (Taylor Dane, I'll Always Love You)
Amanda Overmyer (Cher, If I Could Turn Back Time)
Alaina Whitaker (Sheena Easton, Morning Train)
Alexandrea Lushington (Kim Wilde, You Keep Me Hanging On)
Kady Malloy (The Bangles, Eternal Flame)
Asia'h Eperson (Bonnie Tyler, Total Eclipse of the Heart)
Chikezie Ezie (Luther Vandross, A House Is Not a Home)
Michael Johns (Elton John, I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues)
Jason Castro (George Harrison, Got My Mind Set on You --he can strum that %$&!? guitar)
Luke Menard (Lionel Richie, Hello)
Robbie Carrico (Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead or Alive)
Danny Noriega (Culture Club, Karma Chameleon)
David Hernandez (George Michael, Careless Whisper or One More Try)
Jason Yeager (Simply Red, Holding Back the Years)
David Cook (Reo Speedwagon, Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore)
David Archuletta (Michael Jackson, Rock With You)
I'll just say I cannot wait until next week when we get to the 80s. These last two weeks have taken all of the Ohhhh! out of Old School. These kids -- most of whom weren't even a thought in their parents' minds in the 70s -- are just having a difficult time picking songs that aren't part of a tired 70s cliche. I love the BeeGees just as much as the next girl, but I'm with Simon -- some of those songs from the 70s were past their prime the minute they were released. I think they'll have a much better go at it next week, considering most songs from the 80s have been sampled in rap songs, so at least they'll be familiar to the contestants. Now anyone who knows me is aware of my love of 80s music. I continue to assert that 1984 (Purple Rain AND Thriller, c'mon!) was the best year for music ever. So if TEREE were picking songs for the contestants, here's what they'd be singing next week:
Carly Smithson (Pat Benetar, Love Is a Battlefield)
Syesha Mercado (Whitney Houston, I Wanna Dance With Somebody)
Brooke White (Madonna, Crazy For You)
Ramiele Malubay (Tina Turner, What's Love Got to Do With It)
Kristy Lee Cook (Taylor Dane, I'll Always Love You)
Amanda Overmyer (Cher, If I Could Turn Back Time)
Alaina Whitaker (Sheena Easton, Morning Train)
Alexandrea Lushington (Kim Wilde, You Keep Me Hanging On)
Kady Malloy (The Bangles, Eternal Flame)
Asia'h Eperson (Bonnie Tyler, Total Eclipse of the Heart)
Chikezie Ezie (Luther Vandross, A House Is Not a Home)
Michael Johns (Elton John, I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues)
Jason Castro (George Harrison, Got My Mind Set on You --he can strum that %$&!? guitar)
Luke Menard (Lionel Richie, Hello)
Robbie Carrico (Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead or Alive)
Danny Noriega (Culture Club, Karma Chameleon)
David Hernandez (George Michael, Careless Whisper or One More Try)
Jason Yeager (Simply Red, Holding Back the Years)
David Cook (Reo Speedwagon, Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore)
David Archuletta (Michael Jackson, Rock With You)
Idol Blues
I never thought I'd say this, but I am bored. BORRRRRR-ED of Idol -- at least tonight's episode. I don't know if it's the song choices or the contestants themselves but tonight, I actually turned it off. In fact, I turned off the television altogether. Michael Johns should definitely "go his own way." And Luke Menard -- he actually belongs to a singing group --an a capella group no less, so I was expecting much more from him. Maybe he should try it next week without the band. But it was Jason Castro and his darn guitar that broke this camel's back ...maybe it was the lack of originality or the fact that he thinks America and the judges are so blind and dumb that we'll see his guitar and forget that this is a singing competition or maybe I'm still reeling from the news that my musical hero (MC is my heroINE) Prince has to have hip replacement.
When Prince was the age of most of these contestants, he had released five albums (including the classic 1999) and had single handedly launched the careers of Morris Day and the Time, Vanity (and her Six) as well as Lisa Coleman and Wendy Melvoin (who-- a bit of trivia here-- wrote the TV show Heroes theme music).
I may be bored, but I'm still hopeful and of course, I'll tune in tomorrow (in between ANTM commercials) to hear the girls prove me wrong.
When Prince was the age of most of these contestants, he had released five albums (including the classic 1999) and had single handedly launched the careers of Morris Day and the Time, Vanity (and her Six) as well as Lisa Coleman and Wendy Melvoin (who-- a bit of trivia here-- wrote the TV show Heroes theme music).
I may be bored, but I'm still hopeful and of course, I'll tune in tomorrow (in between ANTM commercials) to hear the girls prove me wrong.
Introducing ....
In my Idol absence, guest blogger Jeff Otto gives us the run down on Wednesday's "Girls Night Out" ...
#1
Kristy Lee Cook, aka “Amazing Grace,” sounds thin and probably shouldn’t have sold her favorite horse. Very blah. Total karaoke. Perhaps she should be on one of the other shows you are watching cause she isn’t a contender in a singing contest.
#2
Joanne Bordello, who seems to identify herself as “the plus-size model,” didn’t look like a plus-size chick in her very flattering outfit, but didn’t seem like she gave it her all. Left me feeling like there was something missing.
#3 Alaina Whitaker 16 year old who has a real chance based on her performance tonight. She was comfortable and confident and even Simon liked her though he hated “I Love You More Today Than Yesterday” She either lost a sleeve on her shirt or those silly early nineties clothes are coming back
#4 Heavy Metal nurse Amanda Obermyer opened her act doing a cross between beatboxing and scatting which was closer to scat (in the animal kingdom sense) than music Randy and Paula loved her Simon asked if she forgot the words, thus the scatting. Evidently Simon doesn’t listen to much music because this was the second song of the night that he didn’t know. Amanda has a voice and a persona of someone twice her age and was dressed in something out of Edward Scissorhands closet
#5 Amy Davis Got her hair done got a make over and evidently didn’t have time to spend with her singing coach because her version of “where the Boys Are” was horrible - so bad that Laura said “poor girl” upon her conclusion.
#6 Brooke White “The Nanny” Sang “Happy Together” She has a great voice and although she started shaky she quickly recovered and found her groove and was comfortable and happy singing. She finally got some eye makeup and no longer looks like a pink-eyed rabbit. Simon accused her of being too sunny and happy.
#7 Alexandrea White - I was putting Lilly down so I had to rely on Laura for the critique on this one She sand Blood Sweat and Tears’ “Spinning Wheel” In Laura’s words “she was the bomb” Randy thought the same and surprise, surprise, Simon “Didn’t get it”
#8 Katie Malloy contestant number 8 Blonde number 5 sang groovy kind of love and to quote Laura “Blah, Blah, Blah” Randy seemed to agree and it never happened for him. Paula gave her the curse of “You look really pretty, tonight” and Simon said “it was night of the living dead” By the time Simon was done Katie could have killed him with her glare.
#9 Dead daddy's girl Asia’H Epperson did a version of Janis Joplin’s “Take another piece of my Heart” It was her own and she rocked it out. It was Simon’s favorite of the night and the other two agreed.
#10 Oh the misery of a slow song and too much drama “You Don’t have to Say you Love Me” by Ramiele did not do her big voice justice. Randy and Paula disagreed with me (the nerve) and poor Asia’H was dethroned as the night’s best just one singer later, by Simon.
#11 Shyeshs Mercado did “Tobacco Road “ and she has some pipes but it wasn’t the best song choice. She was praised for her consistency by all three and she didn’t do her best but has nothing to worry about.
#12 Tattooed Carley Smithson from Ireland did a strong lounge act performance of a lame song. She did a good job Randy declared her the best of two nights Paula loved her and Simon dissed her hard. Song too old performance too cabaret and basically said her talent was wasted and likened her to Kellie and Fantasia
Overall the guys were a better show and at 8:35 we were ready for the thing to be done. We still had two to go . Have you noticed that they all have the same color teeth? Laura suspects a group teeth whitening notes
#1
Kristy Lee Cook, aka “Amazing Grace,” sounds thin and probably shouldn’t have sold her favorite horse. Very blah. Total karaoke. Perhaps she should be on one of the other shows you are watching cause she isn’t a contender in a singing contest.
#2
Joanne Bordello, who seems to identify herself as “the plus-size model,” didn’t look like a plus-size chick in her very flattering outfit, but didn’t seem like she gave it her all. Left me feeling like there was something missing.
#3 Alaina Whitaker 16 year old who has a real chance based on her performance tonight. She was comfortable and confident and even Simon liked her though he hated “I Love You More Today Than Yesterday” She either lost a sleeve on her shirt or those silly early nineties clothes are coming back
#4 Heavy Metal nurse Amanda Obermyer opened her act doing a cross between beatboxing and scatting which was closer to scat (in the animal kingdom sense) than music Randy and Paula loved her Simon asked if she forgot the words, thus the scatting. Evidently Simon doesn’t listen to much music because this was the second song of the night that he didn’t know. Amanda has a voice and a persona of someone twice her age and was dressed in something out of Edward Scissorhands closet
#5 Amy Davis Got her hair done got a make over and evidently didn’t have time to spend with her singing coach because her version of “where the Boys Are” was horrible - so bad that Laura said “poor girl” upon her conclusion.
#6 Brooke White “The Nanny” Sang “Happy Together” She has a great voice and although she started shaky she quickly recovered and found her groove and was comfortable and happy singing. She finally got some eye makeup and no longer looks like a pink-eyed rabbit. Simon accused her of being too sunny and happy.
#7 Alexandrea White - I was putting Lilly down so I had to rely on Laura for the critique on this one She sand Blood Sweat and Tears’ “Spinning Wheel” In Laura’s words “she was the bomb” Randy thought the same and surprise, surprise, Simon “Didn’t get it”
#8 Katie Malloy contestant number 8 Blonde number 5 sang groovy kind of love and to quote Laura “Blah, Blah, Blah” Randy seemed to agree and it never happened for him. Paula gave her the curse of “You look really pretty, tonight” and Simon said “it was night of the living dead” By the time Simon was done Katie could have killed him with her glare.
#9 Dead daddy's girl Asia’H Epperson did a version of Janis Joplin’s “Take another piece of my Heart” It was her own and she rocked it out. It was Simon’s favorite of the night and the other two agreed.
#10 Oh the misery of a slow song and too much drama “You Don’t have to Say you Love Me” by Ramiele did not do her big voice justice. Randy and Paula disagreed with me (the nerve) and poor Asia’H was dethroned as the night’s best just one singer later, by Simon.
#11 Shyeshs Mercado did “Tobacco Road “ and she has some pipes but it wasn’t the best song choice. She was praised for her consistency by all three and she didn’t do her best but has nothing to worry about.
#12 Tattooed Carley Smithson from Ireland did a strong lounge act performance of a lame song. She did a good job Randy declared her the best of two nights Paula loved her and Simon dissed her hard. Song too old performance too cabaret and basically said her talent was wasted and likened her to Kellie and Fantasia
Overall the guys were a better show and at 8:35 we were ready for the thing to be done. We still had two to go . Have you noticed that they all have the same color teeth? Laura suspects a group teeth whitening notes
Boy Crazy
It’s 60s week on Idol as America gets to whittle down the 24 to 12. The boys are up first, followed by the girls on Wednesday and the results show on Thursday. For Idol newcomers, this will go on for the next three weeks and then it’ll go to Tuesday and Wednesday only.
OK, now that that’s settled, here are the high and low notes of the night.
David Hernandez (my Elliott Yamin) started the show off right with a very contemporary rendition of Wilson Pickett’s “In the Midnight Hour.” He is definitely one to watch … or at least I like watching him.
Chikezie Chikezie … not so easy, huh bruh? His orange suit was off the chain, although my man shudna been throwin ‘bows at Simon for dissin’ his duds. Lose a little weight and bruhman gets much ‘tude.
Translation: While Mr. Ezie looked handsome in his suit, his poor singing left him vulnerable to Simon’s criticisms. Consequently, Mr. Ezie was in no position to trade insults with Mr. Cowell.
David Cook. Chris Daughtry anyone? (without as much talent)
I have to go back to Chikezie. I mean who does he think he is to start picking fights with the judges on the FIRST night???? No home training. But then when your parents look like Rog and Mama from What’s Happening …
I thought I was going to have to take a Tylenol PM to get to sleep tonight, but then Jason Yeager sang Moon River and I was out… And was it my imagination or did Simon call him David? Geez, was his performance that forgettable?
Little David Archuleta is so Menudo cute. Doesn’t he look like a young Ricky Martin? And his You Better Shop Around was just too adorable for words. So no more –words, that is.
If you haven’t guessed, Danny Noriega is this season’s Sanjiya. He’s a crowd pleaser (more show than talent) and his super cool hairstyle will win him points with the teenage girls who make up the majority of voters. Simon called his performance grotesque … $10 says he’ll be in the top 12.
Programming note: I missed the second half putting the youngun to bed, so somebody feel free to fill me in.
OK, now that that’s settled, here are the high and low notes of the night.
David Hernandez (my Elliott Yamin) started the show off right with a very contemporary rendition of Wilson Pickett’s “In the Midnight Hour.” He is definitely one to watch … or at least I like watching him.
Chikezie Chikezie … not so easy, huh bruh? His orange suit was off the chain, although my man shudna been throwin ‘bows at Simon for dissin’ his duds. Lose a little weight and bruhman gets much ‘tude.
Translation: While Mr. Ezie looked handsome in his suit, his poor singing left him vulnerable to Simon’s criticisms. Consequently, Mr. Ezie was in no position to trade insults with Mr. Cowell.
David Cook. Chris Daughtry anyone? (without as much talent)
I have to go back to Chikezie. I mean who does he think he is to start picking fights with the judges on the FIRST night???? No home training. But then when your parents look like Rog and Mama from What’s Happening …
I thought I was going to have to take a Tylenol PM to get to sleep tonight, but then Jason Yeager sang Moon River and I was out… And was it my imagination or did Simon call him David? Geez, was his performance that forgettable?
Little David Archuleta is so Menudo cute. Doesn’t he look like a young Ricky Martin? And his You Better Shop Around was just too adorable for words. So no more –words, that is.
If you haven’t guessed, Danny Noriega is this season’s Sanjiya. He’s a crowd pleaser (more show than talent) and his super cool hairstyle will win him points with the teenage girls who make up the majority of voters. Simon called his performance grotesque … $10 says he’ll be in the top 12.
Programming note: I missed the second half putting the youngun to bed, so somebody feel free to fill me in.
Same Ol’ Idol
The first cut always evokes mixed feelings. It’s exciting because we feel like we’ve made our way through the coalmine that is the first three weeks of auditions to find those true diamonds in the rough. But on the other hand, some of those diamonds – at least the ones the judges say are gems -- still look suspiciously like lumps of coal. And that’s when the disappointment sets in. I always wonder what percentage is pipes and what percentage is purely physical.
What can you do? For every Carly Smithson, there’s bound to be a Kristy Lee Cook. No offense, but she’s no Carrie Underwood. And what about the dudes? Danny the rocker? Really? Of course, that’s always been my least favorite thing about the Idols of the past three years –the need for the contest to pair an equal number of boys with girls. It never fails that the girls are infinitely more talented than the guys (sorry y’all but you know I’m right), and it always KILLS me to see a talented girl get booted for well, we all remember the Sanjiya debacle. But then there’s David Hernandez, my Elliott Yamin-in-the-making. He made it through. And that makes up for a lot.
OK, So who thinks Josiah Leming was robbed? He’s got this weird Adam Duritz nasal twang going. I like it.
OK, new question. Who thinks Josiah will end up stalking one or more of the judges?
OK, last question. Who thinks Josiah probably rode the short bus to Hamblen County Alternative School?
Well despite my disappointment that we won’t get to see Josiah cry every Wednesday for another two months (I mean, they kicked Ricky, the resident crier, off Project Runway. Where’s the love???), I am still anxiously awaiting all that Season 7 has to offer.
What can you do? For every Carly Smithson, there’s bound to be a Kristy Lee Cook. No offense, but she’s no Carrie Underwood. And what about the dudes? Danny the rocker? Really? Of course, that’s always been my least favorite thing about the Idols of the past three years –the need for the contest to pair an equal number of boys with girls. It never fails that the girls are infinitely more talented than the guys (sorry y’all but you know I’m right), and it always KILLS me to see a talented girl get booted for well, we all remember the Sanjiya debacle. But then there’s David Hernandez, my Elliott Yamin-in-the-making. He made it through. And that makes up for a lot.
OK, So who thinks Josiah Leming was robbed? He’s got this weird Adam Duritz nasal twang going. I like it.
OK, new question. Who thinks Josiah will end up stalking one or more of the judges?
OK, last question. Who thinks Josiah probably rode the short bus to Hamblen County Alternative School?
Well despite my disappointment that we won’t get to see Josiah cry every Wednesday for another two months (I mean, they kicked Ricky, the resident crier, off Project Runway. Where’s the love???), I am still anxiously awaiting all that Season 7 has to offer.
Hooray for Hollywood
Finally! Idol has made it to Hollywood, and now the real contest begins. This is the part of the competition that separates the Sinatras from the Sanjias. Or so we hope.
So here’s the premise – the contestants get a first turn in front of the judges. If they get a “yes,” they go hit the pool or hotel bar and are good until Thursday. If they get a “no,” it’s back to the drawing board to prepare for a second chance on Wednesday.
Brooke opened up the night with her rendition of Beautiful during which she played the keyboard. This is the first year the contestants are allowed to play an instrument during their audition/performance. And I am LOV-ing it. As someone who does not play an instrument (which means the following statement should be taken with a grain of salt), I’ve always believed that singers who are also musicians are far more credible than those who aren’t. And then there are the triple threats – singers who write their own lyrics and compose their own arrangements and then play them. Now, they are the real musical geniuses. So, do we have some Alicias or Princes in the Idol mix. After tonight, it’s not looking good. I mean there were some hits, but probably more misses. And when they missed, Simon was relentless.
Here are the highlights: “You have the stage presence of a flea.” “You should take an axe to that.” “Shawn, don’t do that again.” “There was nothing redeeming about that performance except that we stopped it early.” OUCH!
Turns out plain old singing works just fine.
Case in point: #4713. Just in time for Valentines Day, this Elliot Yamin-esque crooner won over the judges (and me) with “Love the One You’re With.”
Sidenote: Speaking of Elliot Yamin … If you haven’t peeped his CD, you should give it a listen. True, my favorite Idol loser is a big hit among the Radio Disney demographic, but his themes are mature enough that you won’t feel like a loser buying the album.
Back to present day: The Latin Lover (is that PC?) – with his accent and slick headphones -- made the ladies smile, but his performance made Simon cringe, and unfortunately for him, Simon is the one who counts. Would Josiah from Hotlanta fair better? Hell to the yeah! (as Whit Whit would say) His performance was off the chain –despite his creepy look and even creepier name. I mean “Josiah” doesn’t say Idol as much as it screams Children of the Corn. Tattoed Carly from Cali was another of the night’s unconventional contestants that blew away the competition. And even Harry Potter made it through to the final 24. Could this be the year of the anti-Idol?
I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait to find out!
…. As long as no one ever, ever, never, ever, ever sings “Everything I Do” ever again. Somewhere some 16-year-old in the ‘burbs is asking her mom, “Who the heck is Bryan Adams?” My sentiments exactly.
So here’s the premise – the contestants get a first turn in front of the judges. If they get a “yes,” they go hit the pool or hotel bar and are good until Thursday. If they get a “no,” it’s back to the drawing board to prepare for a second chance on Wednesday.
Brooke opened up the night with her rendition of Beautiful during which she played the keyboard. This is the first year the contestants are allowed to play an instrument during their audition/performance. And I am LOV-ing it. As someone who does not play an instrument (which means the following statement should be taken with a grain of salt), I’ve always believed that singers who are also musicians are far more credible than those who aren’t. And then there are the triple threats – singers who write their own lyrics and compose their own arrangements and then play them. Now, they are the real musical geniuses. So, do we have some Alicias or Princes in the Idol mix. After tonight, it’s not looking good. I mean there were some hits, but probably more misses. And when they missed, Simon was relentless.
Here are the highlights: “You have the stage presence of a flea.” “You should take an axe to that.” “Shawn, don’t do that again.” “There was nothing redeeming about that performance except that we stopped it early.” OUCH!
Turns out plain old singing works just fine.
Case in point: #4713. Just in time for Valentines Day, this Elliot Yamin-esque crooner won over the judges (and me) with “Love the One You’re With.”
Sidenote: Speaking of Elliot Yamin … If you haven’t peeped his CD, you should give it a listen. True, my favorite Idol loser is a big hit among the Radio Disney demographic, but his themes are mature enough that you won’t feel like a loser buying the album.
Back to present day: The Latin Lover (is that PC?) – with his accent and slick headphones -- made the ladies smile, but his performance made Simon cringe, and unfortunately for him, Simon is the one who counts. Would Josiah from Hotlanta fair better? Hell to the yeah! (as Whit Whit would say) His performance was off the chain –despite his creepy look and even creepier name. I mean “Josiah” doesn’t say Idol as much as it screams Children of the Corn. Tattoed Carly from Cali was another of the night’s unconventional contestants that blew away the competition. And even Harry Potter made it through to the final 24. Could this be the year of the anti-Idol?
I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait to find out!
…. As long as no one ever, ever, never, ever, ever sings “Everything I Do” ever again. Somewhere some 16-year-old in the ‘burbs is asking her mom, “Who the heck is Bryan Adams?” My sentiments exactly.
It all comes back to Idol
I woke up this morning – literally -- with a smile on my face. One might chalk it up to the Tylenol PM I took last night, which allowed me to have the first full night of sleep in about a month. BUT that wasn’t it. I woke up filled with excitement, and dare I say it, hope that today, by casting my vote in the Super Duper primary, I could be a part of history. So full of promise was this day that I didn’t even let my 6-year-old’s temper tantrum, the gray sky or packed parking lot at my polling place spoil my high. But that’s where this fairytale ended. Inside the polling place was chaos. You couldn’t read the post-it-note-sized signs taped to the registration table, so no one knew which line to stand in. Make it to the table, and the volunteers – for many of whom the “Golden Years” is a distant memory – are chatting it up about Beverly Anne’s funeral (it was real nice) and so-and-so’s granddaughter (not so nice). And to top it off – out of five voting machines, only one at a time was useable because “the machine operators didn’t show up.” And of course these are the only people who know how to “operate the machines.” So this is it? Our most basic American right – one people fought and died for – being run like the fried pie booth at a church bizarre!
That’s when it hit me … what if the people who produced American Idol “produced” the elections. Think about it. What is the election process but a bunch of audition/performances. The debates. The stump speeches. The Sunday morning talk shows. All that’s missing is some theme music and a cool logo.
And the media and political pundits – well, they’re already judge (and jury). Wouldn’t Ann Coulter make a great Paula? And after every performance (debate, whatever), America votes. Text VOTE1 for Barack Obama, VOTE2 for Hillary Clinton …
Can’t you see it … it’s the results show, and there’s a teary-eyed Rudy Giuliani standing there with Ryan Seacrest (yes. Ryan Seacrest). They’re looking at a montage of campaign clips as the house band plays Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day.” In the crowd, his loyal fans hold signs that read “Do Your Duty. Vote for Rudy.” and “Come on Rudy. Shake your Booty.” Ann Coulter’s crying, but no one is paying attention. The other candidates are pretending to be sad as they huddle around the fallen hopeful …
Folks – THAT’s democracy.
That’s when it hit me … what if the people who produced American Idol “produced” the elections. Think about it. What is the election process but a bunch of audition/performances. The debates. The stump speeches. The Sunday morning talk shows. All that’s missing is some theme music and a cool logo.
And the media and political pundits – well, they’re already judge (and jury). Wouldn’t Ann Coulter make a great Paula? And after every performance (debate, whatever), America votes. Text VOTE1 for Barack Obama, VOTE2 for Hillary Clinton …
Can’t you see it … it’s the results show, and there’s a teary-eyed Rudy Giuliani standing there with Ryan Seacrest (yes. Ryan Seacrest). They’re looking at a montage of campaign clips as the house band plays Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day.” In the crowd, his loyal fans hold signs that read “Do Your Duty. Vote for Rudy.” and “Come on Rudy. Shake your Booty.” Ann Coulter’s crying, but no one is paying attention. The other candidates are pretending to be sad as they huddle around the fallen hopeful …
Folks – THAT’s democracy.
Idol Musings: Six degrees of Mariah Carey
When American Idol debuted six years ago, there was much speculation about judge Randy Jackson’s musical roots. Fueling the theory that all Black people really do look alike, many people assumed he was Michael’s little brother. Well, we’ve since learned that he is so not. But recently, I learned that the two famous (OK … half-way well-known in some circles) Randy Jacksons actually share more than a name … they also share an eerie connection to the woman I consider the Billie Holiday of our time – Miss (call me MiMi) Mariah Carey.
Randy Jackson (nee Steven Randall Jackson) is the youngest son of the musical group, the Jacksons. His younger sister is Janet Jackson. In the early 80s, little Janet struck out on her own and announced that she was taking “Control” of her career. One of the biggest hits of that album was “Nasty.” Paula Abdul (coming off her Laker Girl days) choreographed the video for “Nasty” (watch video) Today, Paula shares judging responsibilities on American Idol with the other Randy Jackson, who, in 2006, helped revamp the international tour of … Miss Mariah Carey.
American Idol’s Randy Jackson has also worked with the likes of Billy Joel, Bob Dylan and Carlos Santana. In 2000, Santana teamed up with former Refugee Wyclef Jean to pen the hit “Maria Maria.” Wyclef was one of the first artists to work with the sensational girl group Destiny’s Child (he produced the “No, No, No” re-mix). Destiny’s Child, along with Knowles sister Solange, sing the title track to the Disney animated series “The Proud Family.” Randy (Michael’s brother) Jackson was a guest-star on the show, along with songstress Alicia Keys. Keys hails from New York, was born to mixed parentage and was raised by her single mom. So was … Miss Mariah Carey.
For the past few years, Steven Randall Jackson has been living at brother Michael’s Neverland Ranch. In the 80s, child star Emmanuel Lewis was a frequent visitor to Neverland (gross). In 2006, “Webster” tried to grab 5 more minutes of fame by appearing on the VH1 Surreal Life Fame Games. One of his fellow contestants was Sandra “Pepa” Denton of the rap duo Salt-n-Pepa. In the 90s, SNP teamed with girl group En Vogue (what happened to them? Those girls could sing circles around Beyonce and ‘dem in their sleep) for the hit “Whatta Man.” En Vogue enjoyed their own success with songs like “Don’t Let Go” and “Too Gone Too Long,” penned by Diane Warren. Warren owns a record label with Idol judge Randy Jackson, whose solo album “Randy Jackson’s Music Club” features … Miss Mariah Carey.
An Idol Mind ...
This week Idol traveled to the Heartland – uncharted territory for the show – and pitched its tent in Nebraska, that bastion of musical talent. Did you know that Julie Wilson, Paul Williams, Randy Williams and Randy Meisner are all Nebraska natives? I have one more question for you: who the heck are they??? They said 10,000 people showed up for the Nebraska auditions. Dudes, that’s half the state! OK, I’m exaggerating. But c’mon! Omaha?
Well, the Idol gods obviously know what they’re doing. They gave us Taylor Hicks, didn’t they?
So the first contestant was Chris Burnhhhhhhhsle-something-or other. Chris is the man. He came bearing gifts and questionable (uh-hmm stalker) photos of Kelly Clarkson. And boy were the judges impressed. Sure, they berated his singing and crushed his dreams of becoming an American Idol, BUT they applauded his ass-kissing efforts and rewarded him with sort-of a gig. Like, maybe, if he gets in touch with Omaha’s Fox affiliate (he won’t) and maybe if they don’t have him arrested for trespassing, then maybe he can drop Simon’s name and like maybe host the affiliate's broadcast of the Idol Finale. Wait. Does that job even exist? Oh Chris. Burn.
But the one thing Chris had going for him was Paula’s absence. She missed her (wink) plane again and showed up late for judging. Paula has a history of absenteeism. But then, is Paula ever really “there?”
In fact, let me pause for this PSA – Paula Service Announcement.
Crack is whack, girl. Crack is whack.
-- Brought to you by Houston Management Co.
Annnnywaaaay. In an exciting turn of events –Ryan poked his head in midway through the show to inquire as to why the lady wrestler wasn’t given a golden ticket. You'll never guess what happened then! Simon challenged him to sit in for Paula as a judge! OMG (exclamation point). I didn’t see that coming at all! Oh wait. Yes, I did. It was on the previews for this week’s show. This was just one example of the tameness (read lameness) of tonight's show.
When Chris Burnhhhhhhhsle-something-or other walked in the Judging Chamber TM, I thought, ‘now there is infectious enthusiasm.’ Enthusiastic it was. Infectious. Not so much. Even the glitter-clad dude who sang “Shout” – didn’t.
No trash-talking Simon on their way out the door. No tone-death duets. Just blah ... blah blah... blah blah.
But I have faith in the tasteless entertainment that is the Idol auditions. Not even Omaha-you're killing me with all the friggin corn-Nebraska can get me down.
Especially since there's a new episode tomorrow.
Until then I'll just entertain you with some musically inspired Nebraska fun facts.
Caruthers. OUT.
*Editors Note: Last week, I insinuated that the great state of South Carolina was still fighting the Civil War because they refused to take down the confederate flag from the capitol. Well, I was wrong. Technically, the confederate flag flies on the grounds of the Statehouse - having been removed from the Dome on July 4th 2000.
Well, the Idol gods obviously know what they’re doing. They gave us Taylor Hicks, didn’t they?
So the first contestant was Chris Burnhhhhhhhsle-something-or other. Chris is the man. He came bearing gifts and questionable (uh-hmm stalker) photos of Kelly Clarkson. And boy were the judges impressed. Sure, they berated his singing and crushed his dreams of becoming an American Idol, BUT they applauded his ass-kissing efforts and rewarded him with sort-of a gig. Like, maybe, if he gets in touch with Omaha’s Fox affiliate (he won’t) and maybe if they don’t have him arrested for trespassing, then maybe he can drop Simon’s name and like maybe host the affiliate's broadcast of the Idol Finale. Wait. Does that job even exist? Oh Chris. Burn.
But the one thing Chris had going for him was Paula’s absence. She missed her (wink) plane again and showed up late for judging. Paula has a history of absenteeism. But then, is Paula ever really “there?”
In fact, let me pause for this PSA – Paula Service Announcement.
Crack is whack, girl. Crack is whack.
-- Brought to you by Houston Management Co.
Annnnywaaaay. In an exciting turn of events –Ryan poked his head in midway through the show to inquire as to why the lady wrestler wasn’t given a golden ticket. You'll never guess what happened then! Simon challenged him to sit in for Paula as a judge! OMG (exclamation point). I didn’t see that coming at all! Oh wait. Yes, I did. It was on the previews for this week’s show. This was just one example of the tameness (read lameness) of tonight's show.When Chris Burnhhhhhhhsle-something-or other walked in the Judging Chamber TM, I thought, ‘now there is infectious enthusiasm.’ Enthusiastic it was. Infectious. Not so much. Even the glitter-clad dude who sang “Shout” – didn’t.
No trash-talking Simon on their way out the door. No tone-death duets. Just blah ... blah blah... blah blah.
But I have faith in the tasteless entertainment that is the Idol auditions. Not even Omaha-you're killing me with all the friggin corn-Nebraska can get me down.
Especially since there's a new episode tomorrow.
Until then I'll just entertain you with some musically inspired Nebraska fun facts.
- In 1927, Edwin E. Perkins of Hastings invented the powered soft drink Kool-Aid. Musical connection: Bowling for Soup penned a song called "Kool-aid."
- Nebraska is the birthplace of the Reuben sandwich. REUBEN Studdard was the winner of Idol Season 2.
- The 911 system of emergency communications, now used nationwide, was developed and first used in Lincoln, Nebraska. The iconic rap group Public Enemy tells us that "911 is a joke."
- Origin of Nebraska's Name: From an Oto Indian word meaning flat water. Jeff OTTO is a big fan of American Idol.
Caruthers. OUT.
*Editors Note: Last week, I insinuated that the great state of South Carolina was still fighting the Civil War because they refused to take down the confederate flag from the capitol. Well, I was wrong. Technically, the confederate flag flies on the grounds of the Statehouse - having been removed from the Dome on July 4th 2000.
Idol Chatter
This week, Idol debuted in South Carolina – the friendliest state. OK, I may be mistaken, but isn’t this the same state that still flies the Confederate Flag above the state capitol? I feel all tingly inside from the love.
So our first “contestant” was Breshard, the Black Clay Aiken. Let me tell you I was shocked –shocked! – to learn that he was from Atlanta…But a sistah was admiring the big Angela Davis-Jesse Jackson-back-in-the day- fro. Then there was DeAna. Not Deana. Get it right. [insert finger snap and eye-roll here] The thing I love about Idol is the multitude of life tips the show dishes out. Take last week. We learned a new phrase for the mysterious dark line that appears under the eyelids of seemingly hetero men: guyliner. This week, we learned that if you capitalize a letter or two in your name, people will be forced to correctly pronounce it. So from here on, I will be known as TeRee. But my favorite of the night was Joshua, the myth debunker. His assertion that the televised competition is rigged and fake -- well, let's just say there's a position waiting for him at the CIA. Bin Laden better watch his back.
So you're probably asking -- what did she think about Amy the abstinence enforcer? I’ll put it in terms even Amy could understand. A is for annoying. A is for airhead, amazingly untalented. Adorable? (not so much)
Hey kids – do you have that “Owwww!” factor? Here’s how you can tell. Do you sport a necktie as a headband? Can you pull off wearing three different patterns in the same outfit? Can you “bowchickawahwah” like a skin flick soundtrack? If you answered yes to any of these questions – you just might have the “Owwww!” factor.
And now's the perfect time to take a moment of silence to recognize the death of fashion. Yes, those were arm warmers Paula was wearing.
Idol Gossip:
Reality junkies rejoice! Idol 2’s Kimberly Locke (known as K-Lo to her fans –that would be me and my sister, basically) is dating the very handsome and yet very married Harvey Walden –the drill sergeant on VH1 Celebrity Fit Club.
So our first “contestant” was Breshard, the Black Clay Aiken. Let me tell you I was shocked –shocked! – to learn that he was from Atlanta…But a sistah was admiring the big Angela Davis-Jesse Jackson-back-in-the day- fro. Then there was DeAna. Not Deana. Get it right. [insert finger snap and eye-roll here] The thing I love about Idol is the multitude of life tips the show dishes out. Take last week. We learned a new phrase for the mysterious dark line that appears under the eyelids of seemingly hetero men: guyliner. This week, we learned that if you capitalize a letter or two in your name, people will be forced to correctly pronounce it. So from here on, I will be known as TeRee. But my favorite of the night was Joshua, the myth debunker. His assertion that the televised competition is rigged and fake -- well, let's just say there's a position waiting for him at the CIA. Bin Laden better watch his back.
So you're probably asking -- what did she think about Amy the abstinence enforcer? I’ll put it in terms even Amy could understand. A is for annoying. A is for airhead, amazingly untalented. Adorable? (not so much)
Hey kids – do you have that “Owwww!” factor? Here’s how you can tell. Do you sport a necktie as a headband? Can you pull off wearing three different patterns in the same outfit? Can you “bowchickawahwah” like a skin flick soundtrack? If you answered yes to any of these questions – you just might have the “Owwww!” factor.
And now's the perfect time to take a moment of silence to recognize the death of fashion. Yes, those were arm warmers Paula was wearing.
Idol Gossip:
Reality junkies rejoice! Idol 2’s Kimberly Locke (known as K-Lo to her fans –that would be me and my sister, basically) is dating the very handsome and yet very married Harvey Walden –the drill sergeant on VH1 Celebrity Fit Club.
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